Specifically because I live in a hot climate, I’m always fighting the feeling of being suspicious of anybody I pass in the streets with a hoodie pulled up. I feel guilty because of racial profiling associated with hoodies, but gotta protect myself and my family, especially because in many cases the perpetrators of assault and...
So, I was given some advice for situations like this that changed my life.
The first thing that comes to mind in these moments isn’t what matters. It’s what a life time of indoctrinated racism/classism/sexism etc looks like. The thing that comes to mind here isn’t necessarily what you think, it’s what you’ve been taught to think,
What matters is what you do next, after the thought has popped in to your mind.
I was raised in a very racist environment, and I struggled with feeling guilt every time some racist thought I’d been trained with popped in to my head, because that’s not the person I want to be. Reframing it like this allowed me to stop getting hung up on the guilt part, and work on the part that actually means something
Right? My physical dysphoria was addressed by a very traditionally binary medical transition…
But that feeling of transitioning to escape the confines of gender, only to find out that there’s just more gender? I feel that in my bones… Masculinity, femininity, they both feel alien to me, and in transitioning, I feel like I’ve escaped one gender box only to land in another (admittedly more comfortable) gender box. I don’t want a better box. I want no box! And this article vocalised and crystallised a lot of my own half formed thoughts
And the idea of finding comfort in always struggling with the boxes?
“but for me, being trans is all about feeling uncomfortable with any category, and with the action of breaking away again and again and again. It’s the disavowal, not the desire.”
This spoke to me in ways that I’d never considered before, but yeah, that’s me…
I think a lot of people would say “Ok, you’re describing the experience of being non binary” but I don’t think it’s quite that, particularly internally I tend to feel quite strongly gendered, something odd happened where prior to transition I was mostly a woman in my imagination/internal monologue and after transition I often find myself thinking of myself as a man. Yet when I’m gendered as a man by strangers it feels awful!
Yes, this is similar to my own experience! It feels like what I’m experiencing should be a non binary experience, yet, I don’t resonate with that, because my internal identity is gendered in a binary way. Yet every time I’m seen as transgressing gendered norms, it makes me happy. That was true before I transitioned, and it remains true now that the norms attached to me are different. I’m not happy being misgendered, but I’m quite happy to not be gendered, and I’m uncomfortable when people assume I’m cishet. I’d be happiest if my gender was an internal experience and of no importance to anyone else. My gender identity is there, and it’s pretty binary I guess, yet that very same binary comes with a boatload of bullshit that no one should have to deal with.
Today in a Privacy community a post about YouTube. No word about privacy but all about which software or settings are needed to watch videos and the money needed to host videos. It made me wonder whether some of you can lead a meaningful life without YouTube. Or will a cold turkey bring the worst out of you ?
The only thing I use it for is Dreaming Spanish, and it’s months since I’ve watched any of that content, so I’ll say yeah, I think I’ll be ok in a world without Youtube
Image description: A portion of the Toombul shopping center, with a large amount of rubble surrounding it. Two large excavators are sitting in the midst of the rubble. A man with a very high pressure hose is spraying water on to the rubble to keep the dust levels down.
I’m running an nvidia card on X11 Plasma 6, with a 4K monitor alongside a QHD monitor. Both monitors are the same physical size, despite being different resolutions, so in the nvidia settings app, I’ve got the second X screen setup to generate 4K but downscale it to QHD in the output. It makes the second screen slightly...
Ok, with further digging, I discovered that it was only getting updated on user login. The actual login screen itself was running with the updated resolution. So something in the KDE login process was to blame.
My girlfriend did some research, and it turns out that KDE kscreen service is the problem. I’ve disabled that, and everything works now
I’ve been playing 40k since the late 80s. I know the lore. I was there for it. I have watched it change over the decades. And sure, the female warriors weren’t explicitly labelled Space Marines, but they clearly were intended to be “the same” as the male models that would become Space Marines. The genestealers in Rogue Trader weren’t labelled tyranids either, but no one claims they weren’t by citing lack of specific lore at the time they were first published
The only reason those models didn’t continue to be made is because misogyny meant the models didn’t sell. So female space marines got written out of the lore, and the sisters, in all ways lesser than space marines, were introduced, so as to not offend the fan base of the time with equality.
I don’t know? I’m a mum. I don’t know what that means. I don’t know how it differs from being a dad. Aside from the label, it feels pretty much the same, yet the label is important…
(Arch) Question on updating dependencies from a newbie
cross-posted from: lemmy.blahaj.zone/post/11540913...
i bought this today! (lemmy.blahaj.zone)
Does anybody else feel guilty being suspicious of anybody in a black hoodie with the hood up?
Specifically because I live in a hot climate, I’m always fighting the feeling of being suspicious of anybody I pass in the streets with a hoodie pulled up. I feel guilty because of racial profiling associated with hoodies, but gotta protect myself and my family, especially because in many cases the perpetrators of assault and...
Detransition is Gender Liberation, Too - Here's to never being satisfied and forever changing. (drdevonprice.substack.com)
Looking for linux workflow ideas
cross-posted from: lemmy.blahaj.zone/post/11308547...
Can you live without YouTube ?
Today in a Privacy community a post about YouTube. No word about privacy but all about which software or settings are needed to watch videos and the money needed to host videos. It made me wonder whether some of you can lead a meaningful life without YouTube. Or will a cold turkey bring the worst out of you ?
fucking beautiful. almost a year into the 'verse and its starting to become more functional than that R place... better than i imagined. (cdn.catsweat.com)
Toombul demo - Week 2 (lemmy.blahaj.zone)
Image description: A portion of the Toombul shopping center, with a large amount of rubble surrounding it. Two large excavators are sitting in the midst of the rubble. A man with a very high pressure hose is spraying water on to the rubble to keep the dust levels down.
Firefox UX: On Purpose: Collectively Defining Our Team’s Mission Statement (blog.mozilla.org)
Arch/KDE - Saving x11 configs?
cross-posted from: lemmy.blahaj.zone/post/11236710...
[Resolved] Saving x11 configs?
I’m running an nvidia card on X11 Plasma 6, with a 4K monitor alongside a QHD monitor. Both monitors are the same physical size, despite being different resolutions, so in the nvidia settings app, I’ve got the second X screen setup to generate 4K but downscale it to QHD in the output. It makes the second screen slightly...
Emergency Dice (pixelfed.social)
What to carry in case you suddenly need dice and don’t have them.
What are some good role models for men?
Feel free to highlight people from both reality and fiction - and why they make a good role model.
Why Warhammer 40K fans are freaking out over a female Custodes in the new codex (www.polygon.com)
Queensland's go card to be scrapped, replaced with new public transport fare pass (www.abc.net.au)
Those of you that have children. What does it mean to be a dad or mom to you?
Been a while since I’ve posted here but missed you all!...