The last words I had with someone at Pride tonight, someone who I thought was maybe a new friend was - "well, you're not a real woman anyways".
I should have stayed home with my cats and ordered take-out. The gays are just as transphobic as anyone else. Fuck people. I opened myself up and I'm mad I did.
It is always frustrating trying to determine if these people actually believe what they’re saying, or if they’re grasping for anything they can say to be hurtful. Do they actually believe you are a woman in their heart, and just contradict their own beliefs in the name of hurting the bad person with the bad opinion? Or do they think you are all faking but decide to humor the pleasant people about their gender and mask-off around anyone they dislike? Either way, it creates an environment of “do you really accept my identity as valid, or is it conditional upon whether you like me?” Not the kind of thing that should be happening at all, let alone at Pride.
I am so so so sorry that happened to you. That is so incredibly fucked up and not okay. The fact this happened at Pride is just…so heartbreaking. I am a cis-het male, but I inevitably cry tears of joy every year at our local Pride festival because there are so many people from across the entire LGBTQ2IAS+ community in our very conservative/religious city who get so much shit from judgmental bigots, every day of the year, but Pride is a time when they are not just accepted, but fucking CELEBRATED! Friend, if the hater who spewed those lies to you won’t celebrate you, I sure as hell will. Such_lettuce7970, I dont know you IRL, but judging from your post history you use Linux, and youre here on the threadiverse, and you have seem to have a heart for sharing vulnerability with others which is such an incredible gift for all of us to be blessed by. You’re a fucking cool-ass woman, and I hope you are able to find people IRL who are able to validate that about yourself. Sending a handful of soldarity tears and many, many loving vibes your way (and if you’re cool with it, some WiFi hugs as well). Youre a fucking treasure, and your cats are lucky as shit to be able to hang out with you.
I hear you about platonic friends. Its really hard to make friends as an adult. I’m in the same boat. My wife has friends because she’s lived in this town for decades, but I’m an immigrant who’s only been here since 2019 and 80% of the other people in our town drive pickup trucks and think vaccines kill people. The struggle is real. Whatever its worth I’m proud of you for putting yourself out there. I dont have the courage to try that so much myself.
I’m sorry that happened to you. Something I wish people would bear in mind when it comes to LGBT people… we’re just people. So by that metric, some of us are lovely, some of us are depressed, some of us are angry, and some of us are shitty.
We’re not shiny magical rainbow people, just humans with the same flaws as everyone else. You’d think someone who had suffered hatred & persecution would not inflict it onto someone else… but sadly, some people are just shitty. You had an interaction with an exceedingly shitty human being who happened to also be LGBT. Please try not to let it influence you, or prevent you from meeting awesome people at future events!
Ayyy that person can go eat hog turds alone in a field
You’re worthy of respect and as real a woman as anyone alive. Sorry for the shitty Pride experience. There are Pride events that aren’t like that, I swear. My local Boston Block Party is mostly weed stores and a killer drag show. Wishing you happier Prides and reciprocated trust in the near future.
Middle aged white bi guy here, I just cut off several family members within the last week for being transphobic. Fuck the person that said that to you and fuck transphobes. They are a cancer and they’re everywhere, unfortunately. You deserve better and I hope you find people that support you for who you are.
Bland as fuck CIS white guy here. They deserve as many throat punches (though maybe just a death stare is safer) as possible.
Also cats are better than most people.
I’m so sorry that we as a people seem to be hell bent on both halting progress and undoing what little we’ve had in the modern era. You deserve better.
You may not have had the default feminine childhood that AFAB people like myself had, but I have seen trans women work so much harder and bust their asses just to be called “Ma’am” so in my eyes? You’re absolutely a real woman. You just played the game on hard mode while the rest of us were on easy and normal mode.
I’ve come to assume that legit everyone, regardless of their political or community affiliation (YES, INCLUDING TRANS PEOPLE/SPACES), is transphobic until proven otherwise. I trust no one these days. But I’m really sorry you experienced this ignorance & harm in a space that SHOULD be accepting… It gets so fucking tiring. You’re a beautiful woman and NO ONE can take that truth from you.
The more marginalized your intersectional community, the more discrimination you face from that community.
For example, jf you think it’s tough being a woman in the united states, try being a black woman. And if you think that’s hard, try being a black trans woman.
At some point, you just lose community entirely, as that becomes a privilege for those less marginalized.
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