Defined as a preoccupation with one’s perceived lack of muscularity, muscle dysmorphia is becoming increasingly prevalent, causing what experts are calling a ‘silent crisis’ in men’s mental health
I either get to enjoy eating and life in general, but feel like my body isn’t big and muscular enough to feel like a confident man or work out all the time but stop eating what makes me happy and in general not enjoy meals.
Media constantly espouses body positivity for women, but men are either ripped or obese. There’s no normal, and it makes men feel like they’re not good enough.
Body positivity has been ignoring men for way too long.
Dad bod doesn’t necessarily mean overweight with a beer gut. But it does mean that you don’t have time to go to the gym to be sculpted for aesthetics. Still plenty of strength and masculinity in it, however.
Same reasons any person with fat based dysmorphia shouldn’t just lose some weight. Dysmorphia requires an incorrect self perception, so he may actually be reasonably fit but still feel like he’s not muscular enough. And secondly getting to movie star levels of muscles is a massive time and lifestyle commitment that’s not exactly good for you. A well defined 6 pack will become less defined by doing things like properly hydrating. Starving yourself and constantly pushing your lifting schedule will get you seriously hurt. These actors are not living a healthy lifestyle and they have experts helping them stay in this shape.
It’s totally cool if some guys want that body and the lifestyle attached, I’ve known some people who loved the fact that they always knew what they were going to eat down to the gram, but if eating the exact same amount of the exact same thing every day spending several hours a day exercising isn’t your thing you shouldn’t feel ugly or like you’re failing to properly fulfill your gendered expectations.
As a woman with body dysmorphia I’m extremely sympathetic to these men because the resources to help me accurately gauge what a healthy weight is and to understand my experiences and cope with it without developing anorexia have been lifesavers. Men deserve similar resources and the ability to comfortably express the vulnerability that comes with it.
It's almost impossible to become as muscular as many of the swolemodels(tm) you see online, without years of intensive exercise and/or drugs/steroids. A lot of it is also in large part genetic, especially stuff like a defined six pack.
And even if by some miracle of genetics, steroids, lack of injury and enough free time, they do somehow manage to become very muscular, it will still not be enough because they will inevitably run into an absolute beast who puts them to shame.
Which is part of the business model. Fitness influencers roided up to the gills, selling insecure young men overpriced creatine adjacent supplements that, although useful, will never allow them to make the gains they want.
But seriously these guys need to just pay attention to women if that’s what they want the muscles about. Women are not out there just drooling over muscles all the time, they mostly want a generally fit body, maybe abs and stuff. Big muscly bodybuilders are probably going to attract more gays than women.
This was a discussion about “muscle dysmorphia” rather than a general dating strategy thing so I’m only pointing out physical stuff. I’m not here to help youngsters with their dating life but I thought it would be helpful for any of them to know that they don’t need to be a Hans & Franz muscleman to get dates.
You can ignore my advice at your own risk, but I know what I’m talking about with women. If there were any on here they would probably chime in to agree that big muscles are not an important feature for a man to look good.
You have no idea what I know about and what experiences I’ve had, because if you were on my level you would recognize the truth that I shared. Sorry about your luck there.
Different people have different tastes. I know people both men and women who have learned not to be into the bodybuilder physique because while they think it looks good they don’t like dating people who live the lifestyle it requires. They also complain about how it isn’t as nice to cuddle. Now, gay/bi men are more likely to be into living that lifestyle than straight/bi women.
But from what I’ve heard it’s a body type largely idealized not in a sexual way, but in a self insert way. It looks powerful, and has become a cultural ideal. In part because it’s the optimization of the appearance of strength.
Most people want someone reasonably attractive that can share their lifestyle to a reasonable degree. Beyond that, social skills and improving grooming will improve your chances far more than more time in the gym unless you enjoy it want want a partner who’s into exercise too.
Yeah world record powerlifters have the longshoreman body type not the bodybuilder body type. But that’s also not a healthy body expectation. Reasonably fit is what the standard body expectations should be for most people.
I was watching ‘The Getaway’ with Steve McQueen a few weeks ago. At the time the movie was made, Steve was one of Hollywood’s top action heroes. When he took his shirt off I thought how skinny he looked. I know that the Marvel heroes work out for months to get the ‘superhero’ body, but I still made the comparison.
Another story I heard. A friend of mine wanted to buy his nephew the same Luke Skywalker action figure he’d played with as a child. The original toy looked like a skinny farm boy, and the new one had Luke looking like a body builder.
The x men series is a clear example. Look at Hugh Jackman Wolverine in the original movie compared to the newer ones. In the original he was lean, and in shape but not super muscular or anything. By the Wolverine he’s a body building monster
Look at some old movies. Buster Crabbe [Flash Gordon] and Johnny Weissmuller [Tarzan] were both Olympic athletes. Back in the day, they were the peak of manly developement; today they’d be henchmen at best.
That’s actually because Jackman was cast very late (it was supposed to be Dougray Scott originally), so he didn’t have time to bulk up to superhero physique. X-Men 2’s Wolverine is the form Jackman aimed for originally, although he also got even bulkier und more bodybuilder-y later on, like in Days of Future Past.
The lengths they go to today are insane. Like, on top of sort of obsessive body building they’re also dehydrating themselves before the bare chest scene for extra definition or some shit. Seems unhealthy all around.
Robert Evans recently read some old men’s pulp magazines from like the 50s on Behind the Bastards and it’s really crazy how similar the way they advertise to men then and now are
That’s not true actually. Rudeness is a function of social acceptability, which is context dependent. If you told someone you wanted to kill them, that would be very rude in most environments, true or not.
However, if they were physically threatening you with a weapon, that no longer becomes quite so rude, and is more of a reasonable warning to back off, since your life is in danger too.
Sure. You could also flip that around and say harsh criticism is just rudeness based on truth.
It remains rude, however. It’s not like all harsh criticisms are good. We do draw a line between constructive criticism and other kinds. We do this because it’s all about results at the end of the day, and looking at all the nitty gritty details about how we got the good ones.
That’s patently and blatantly false. Commenting on someone’s receding hairline or large stomach can be absolutely true, but it’s also rude as hell unless specifically prompted.
Add comment