MisterNeon, 
Granted. Microsoft somehow gets exclusive legal rights to Linux. Linux is now Windows with a penguin mascot.
geekworking, Been there. Done that. Xenix - aka Microsoft Unix was one of the most popular *nix for microcomputer hardware in the early 80s.
MisterNeon, See this is why history rules. No matter what kind of horrors I can think up, it’s probably already happened before.
Froyn, It's your IRL "Simpsons did it" moment
ekZepp, (edited ) 
Granted
Now Linux is a propetary software full of bloatware who efficiently steal the private information of his users but can’t play games.
aperson, Granted. Everyone now uses arch and the internet’s bandwidth is now severely reduced because a good portion of communication now has the overhead of ‘I use arch btw’.
xep, We kind of sort of do, but it's called Android...
Bizarroland, 
Granted but for stability all future code must be submitted in brainfuck
CorrodedCranium, 
Granted. Everyone has now eclipsed your knowledge level
JackGreenEarth, Great. They immediately switch over, with no time to port things, and a lot of important things, such as government things, break.
oo1, in my goverment job things break every day with MS.
fortunately my job is not important.
ceiphas, the only available distro is Hannah Montana
Tippon, No, you’re misunderstanding. There’s supposed to be a downside to a monkey’s paw wish
sramder, 
Granted. But owning to your obvious wisdom, all their support requests are being routed to your inbox ;-)
darkevilmac, 
They’re all using Gentoo now.
ceiphas, iamben? is it you?
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