i don't think i've actually ever won an award for anything (my ego-saving rationale is "well, i just don't do the kind of work that wins awards") but apparently i have to care about awards now, so if anybody is in academia and wants to come up with some meaningless awards for me to win that would be nice.
the more impressive sounding the better, but don't actually ask me to have to do anything exemplary, thanks.
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