I've been playing Magic drafts semi-regularly since 2/8, when I went to a pre-release event for the new set. Since that time, I've steadily lost confidence in myself and my ability to make good decisions. I'm starting to dislike myself a lot. This is why I quit the game in the first place.
Knowing this, I kept at it to see if I could work through some of these issues; they come up in other areas of life, too. So far they seem insurmountable–I may be at my cognitive limit. That really scares me.
I do want to be clear about one point: this isn't about losing a game in a general sense. Variance is a real thing–I don't expect to win. When I review game logs after the fact to see how I can improve, I notice decisions I made that don't make sense given the information I have: I didn't notice, couldn't pay attention, or did the math wrong.
I don't think that I'm stupid (except in my darkest moments, maybe), but if I can't focus and make good decisions, what is the practical difference there?
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