Sigh. The friend-with-$$$ has gifted me a gorgeous duvet with cover, saying "oh it'll be so much easier to make your bed." It turns out to be heavier, hotter, and more difficult to move than the old smelly sleeping bag I was using, and I'll need assistance changing the cover to wash it. NOT disabled-friendly. Par for the course with this friend sadly, who does not get that decorator-think is often not disabled-friendly. (1/thread)
I love this friend and her partner, and they've given me some amazing help, but there's always this hole in their understanding of my disability needs. They generously bought me a new bed and mattress, and fortunately I got ahead of that order to make sure it was a height I could get into/out of easily, having struggled with their towering guestroom bed/mattress/boxspring setup and fearing they'd blow $$$ on similar excessive bedding for me. (2/thread)
Their house is huge and beautiful, and decorated gorgeously. While I celebrate their freedom as fellow queers to live well and openly and earn enough to have such a spread, the sheer upper-middle-class consumerism of their home (in a development carved out of a once-forested hill) rattles my political nerves. LOL at least they're being generous with helping their broke disabled friend! But the classism of it all frets my brain. (3/thread).
Still, now that I have this latest gift, as a broke disabled person I'm sure as heck not going to turn it down! I've managed to wrestle the duvet into a heap where the bed meets the wall, so I can unfurl it a little as needed when sleeping. But I've dispensed with daily making my bed just to unmake it again every night as a big spoon-waster years ago, so my friend's Instagram visions of me using the duvet as an "easy" bedspread will simply go unfulfilled. (4/thread)
But to any able-bodied folks reading this: PLEASE think long and hard, when buying gifts for disabled friends, as to whether the gift actually is usable by said friends! Buy it for your friend's needs for usability, which will often be less glamorous looking than your visions of household beauty but much more of a true helpful gift for said friend. (end thread)
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