I have a drink once a month (or sometimes not for a few months) and it makes me feel exhausted. We do a big party once a year and that’s more than enough for me.
I really should reduce my consumption, I’ve always hang around people that tend to get wasted on a weekly basis. Getting tipsy is enjoyable, but more than that is just fucking stupid. I also find it hard to talk about stuff with them, or to do meaningful activities, they just want to drink a lot and act like dumbasses in night clubs. So boring. I should try and find new friends, but I feel like most people act like this, honestly. It’s the same when I hang out with strangers. My hard limit is 3 drinks per night now.
You’re right, I’m 27 in a new country, and I meet people at meetups events (they very often takes place in a bar), so I’m bound to find people that are only interested in getting wasted. I’ve been meaning to pick some hobbies and find friends this way, I should get to it.
I should try and find new friends, but I feel like most people act like this, honestly.
I don’t know anyone like this. All, my friends, and my friends friends, do normal things like go out to eat, do something outdoors, play games, just talk, sit around a fire pit, etc. On a rare occasion a few will get drunk or high, but it is not a regular thing for any of us, sounds like you just surround yourself with 1 dimensional people with little to offer.
I wouldn’t call them “1-dimensional”, and they do have things to offer, but they go out to lose themselves, and drink like crazy. When we do have discussions they’re very interesting, and we sometimes do activities unrelated to drinking, but they’re not willing to go there often. Again, I meet these people at events in bars, so it’s very likely that they’re into drinking. My friends back home have mellowed quite a bit and we do normal stuff now. It’s just hard to meet new people outside school/workplace if you don’t have hobbies and you don’t want to go to bars or nightclubs.
Yeah meeting new people isn’t easy once you’re out of school. If you are outgoing there are definitely avenues though. There are meetup groups for everything. You might not have hobbies, but you still do things. You bike? Go to the local riding meetup. You like boardgames? Sign up for your local open play at a boardgame store. You cook? Take a cooking class at a kitchen store or co-op. Anything you do, there is probably already a local group meeting up to do it.
Notice how they didn’t say how many drinks? I bet its the wildest bender each time, black out drunk, ends up in the drunk tank type situation, so they tell themselves, I need to stop, and they last a week or two and then it happens again, because theyre an alcoholic
I was diagnosed with anorexia because I was 5 kg ‘underweight’ and answered ‘no’ when asked if I had an eating disorder. Answering ‘no’ was apparently the justification for the diagnosis. It’s still on my file 10 years later, despite now being ‘over-weight’ and always having had nominal blood test results. Conveniently, denying you have anorexia is a symptom, and so is asking to have the diagnosis removed, I guess.
This has completely blocked me from receiving medication and treatment, because any physical or pyschological ailment I seek help for gets blamed on ‘my anorexia’ and I’m referred to psychotherapy.
I’m in a similar situation with a bipolar diagnosis. I was diagnosed after speaking with a sketchy psychologist for 20 minutes at best. Apparently thinking you don’t have bipolar disorder is a symptom of bipolar disorder.
Even after working with two other psychologists for well over a year and both diagnosing me with PTSD and that diagnosis perfectly matching my experience, not a single doctor will put that on my medical record. They won’t refer me to appropriate treatment. They won’t change my medication and tell me it works instead of asking.
I’ve been trying to get this fixed since 2008, but I just get shut down immediately after bringing it up. I’m barely getting by due to very poor mental health and everything just keeps getting worse.
Have you talked to a medical malpractice lawyer about your original diagnosis? Most will do an initial consult for free and work on contingency. In this rock-paper-scissor world lawyer beats doctor.
I believe you when you say you’re not anorexic, or ever had anorexia, but as a 43 year old man, who is 185cm tall, my healthy range is 63-86 kilos.
I am 82 kilos give or take a meal, and if I lost 15 kilos I would be very, very slender, and that would still keep me well in the “healthy” range.
What I’m saying is the healthy range, to me at least, should be taken with a pinch of salt, and it’s shithouse that your diagnosis has vexed you for over ten years.
Because of really bad experiences with alcoholics as a child, I am afraid of people who drink. My psychologist and my doctor wrote that down.
When I became seriously ill and could no longer work in my old job, I had to retrain. To do this, you have to go to the German employment office and get an assessment of your strengths and weaknesses, including what your doctor and therapist have to say.
They read the paper from my doctor and my psychologist, but just skimmed over the words and decided that because the word “alcoholic” was there, I must be the alcoholic. They told me that I could get paid retraining and benefits, but only if I attended a therapy group for alcoholics once a week - me, who is afraid of alcoholics because of the abuse I suffered as a child. … I immediately started crying and swore that I had no problem with alcohol, only with alcoholics!
It took 6 months to get someone at the job centre to actually read the papers word for word to find out that me saying “I’m not an alcoholic” was not me being an alcoholic in denial. I got a half-assed apology and my retraining 6 months after I could have started it because of this. Not to mention that every time I refused to go to AA meetings they threatened to take away my benefits and I was in such a bad mental state that I probably would have killed myself without the help of my family. Oh, and my family who tried to intervene were labelled as co-alcoholics, holding me back.
There is no greater fucking idiot than the one who thinks a social gathering for discussion is subject to the rules of double-blind scientific testing. Watching some arrogant fucking shithead attempting to slander 12-stop programs as “not scientific” is hilarious because OF COURSE IT ISN’T SCIENTIFIC!! IT MAKES NO CLAIMS TO BE.
That’s all fine and dandy until you get court ordered to attend these meetings as if it were a scientifically proven method of quitting drinking. It’d be like doing something bad and then being court ordered to attend church so that you can “gain a moral compass.”
Out of curiosity, where are people being remanded to AA specifically?
Having some experience in those circles. Courts often order “recovery programs” not AA, usually some form outpatient/inpatient group therapy, run by licensed therapists.
In the US, you can have court ordered AA f as punishment for alcoholic related crimes. This is sometimes given as an option over jail time or fines, so the legality is questionable, but people in those situations rarely know their rights or want to extend the court process.
Nope; it just can’t be measured. It works for those it works for. It is social, not scientific. There is no possible way to measure it’s effectiveness because you can’t monitor the entire lives of everyone who has wandered into a meeting. For myself, I had no intention of quitting but went ro a meeting because a feiend asked me to. I never drank again after my very first meeting in 2004. Many, many others had relapse repeatedly. Others did not. But there is no way to know what the success rate is because nobody knows who we are or if we’ll ever drink again before we die. It is a program of suggestion only, with no requirements.
I dont understand you people who insist on jacking off non-stop in your efforts to nullify and devalue recovery. You’re a very bizarre form of evil.
You measure these things with surveys and interviews and design statics. AA claims to have success and relapse numbers, but I’d prefer independently run ones. Not everything scientific needs to be or can be a double blind trial.
If it’s measurably, it can be improved. Even if AA works, does it have a better success rate then quitting cold turkey? Even if works, are there things that can be changed to make it work even better?
Others have mentioned it, but to elaborate, Alcoholics Anonymous is not merely sitting in a circle and sharing your problems, but a belief system which requires you to submit to a higher power to move forward.
The process still involves relinquishing your will power and deferring to an higher/outside power. Incredibly cult like behavior. You should be raising a person’s will power. Hyping the hell out of them.
Knew a guy who insisted he wasn’t addicted, but he can’t go a day without attending an AA meeting. 40 years, non stop. Even when in other countries for work, he finds them. Left his own daughters wedding dinner to make it to one.
He runs his own chapter where he lives. He’s had people follow the steps, sure, but some don’t. No matter how successful the latter are, he tears them apart for “not doing it right” and has turned his back on them for not following how he did it.
You have a better grasp of them than the people down voting you.
AA has done a lot to separate itself from religion in the past couple decades. But if you pay close attention, they use the exact same manipulation techniques used by religions to control their congregations.
That said, AA does a LOT of good, and in my opinion they do genuinely have the best interests of their members at heart.
In the past, some critics have criticized 12-step programs as pseudoscientific and “a cult that relies on God as the mechanism of action”. Until recently, ethical and operational issues had prevented robust randomized controlled trials from being conducted comparing 12-step programs directly to other approaches. More recent studies employing randomized and blinded trials have shown 12-step programs provide similar benefit compared to motivational enhancement therapy (MET) and cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), and were more effective in producing continuous abstinence and remission compared to these approaches.
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