2, Take the more beautiful or poetic lines and dump them into a note
This in the style of Taylor Swift:
So I broke up with Alice over a long conversation that included an hour-long primer on evolutionary psychology in which I explained how natural selection had built me to be attracted to certain features that she lacked. I thought she would appreciate this because she had previously expressed admiration for detailed honesty. Now I realize that there’s hardly a more damaging way to break up with someone. She asked that I kindly never speak to her again, and I can’t blame her.
I’m going to Sylvia Plath my hearing by getting the largest guitar amp I can find, cranking it to 11, and putting my acausal head in front of it so I can forget what sound is after hearing this nonsense.
Add comment