It seems very annoying to me when cishet dudes whine about how hard they have it. It might be true, but the problem is usually that they’ve been brought up with a misogynistic worldview and hegemonic masculinity. That’s what I referred to by calling them detached from reality.
It is like a narcissistic person telling you how hard their life is while abusing you. You can empathize with them because they sure have a hard life. But as long as they’re not self-aware and reflect on their doings, I won’t have much empathy with them. Same goes for cis men.