“I’m sure we are all confused as to why morale has been so low these last few weeks,” Peter said, although everyone else seems to agree that the layoffs are to blame. “It’s about time we got to the bottom of this mystery. I’ve conducted a thorough search and determined that remote work is to blame.”
I’ve never been without ad block, but I’m not surprised they put a lot of ads bc I doubt they would be making any money enough to hire someone without having like 15 banner ads. Satire is not exactly a monied industry.
Uh, this is basically real news though. Even just this week my company asked why people aren’t taking risks and submitting “20% projects” and what they don’t want to hear is “because four rounds of layoffs in a year has absolutely crushed anyone’s willingness to do so?”
sure I am gonna devote whatever little time left to myself to do side projects for you so that you increase your chances of stumbling upon a new innovation that will make you even more rich. solid idea.
My company had a feedback meeting (wasn’t planned, but the staff are just that fed up), and it was spicy. We’ve not received pay reviews, management never let us give them feedback, people feel demotivated and unheard.
The CEO’s solution? A new ‘cameras always on’ policy. SMH
Fuck. I haven’t seen my boss on camera since my interview 6 months ago. I came from a ‘camera’ post and have since been molded into a proper introvert.
No it isn’t, commentary about it to mask the layoffs meant to temporarily juice stock prices and discipline labor at the expense of human beings is ruining “company culture” - or at least it would if that was actually a thing.
I’m still slightly peeved about an old CEO that was all about “making data driven decisions” but when people presented data he didn’t like he’d ignore it.
“Hey a couple studies are showing that 4 day work weeks are a net positive, do you-”
Bad idea. In order to get a computer to do anything useful, you must first be honest about what outcome you want. This means saying the quiet part out loud, resulting an an AI prompt something like:
Develop a business plan optimizing for shareholder value, maximizing bonus payout for top leadership, leveraging all company assets, while avoiding lawsuits that will end the company. Legal problems are okay provided they do not interfere with increasing company value. Assume full workforce productivity and minimal depreciation on assets.
What follows is a cutthroat business plan that will make a killing on Wall St. in the short run, and make everyone in said business absolutely miserable. All remaining ethics that are left at the C-level get thrown right in the trash. Also: this kills the environment.
Or, we could just implement the algorithms that are already available, and not tell it to maximize shareholder value, but instead company productivity, and you’ll get the most efficient companies possible.
There was an article back in 2011 that predicted that middle and upper management were already completely replaceable using management algorithms. They want the tech to replace the rest of us before they implement that level of automation.
I’d like to think if I moved across the country to keep a job like that, that’d I’d demand something like a 2+ year contract with an exorbitantly high severance package pre-negotiated.
If it’s that or get fired, may as well try, not worth uprooting for otherwise
I’m being offered a position right now, and I just don’t think they get this part of it. I’m not moving house 4000mi into an at-will state just to get turfed in month 9.
Probably not the thing everyone thought about before the layoffs became a thing. Also probably not what a company is going to agree to, but that may even be a good thing because good riddance
The only “work” getting talked about around the water cooler is how much we hate working here and how we’re going to quit and get a job someplace that sucks less.
I feel like the CEO should be required to resign if they let a company get to the point where multiple rounds of layoffs are required. They need to own the failure of their decisions.
We’re a family and being forced together in an office is part of our DNA, our corporate culture of control. Because we work better together when we force you back from of a situation we previously told you was going to be the “new normal”, but since we collectively decided we stopped caring anymore we’re going to pretend we never said that.
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