Kenji did a great video walking around Uwajimaya explaining the different varieties of common Japanese ingredients and what he recommends getting. I’d say anyone looking to dip their toes or season experts of Japanese cooking will find some good info here.
I grew up in small towns and moved to Seattle a few years ago. I’m still not used to seeing things on the Internet and being like “I go there, I know that place!”
In Seattle it is becoming common to require 4x rent in pay, some places it is at 5x. Because rent here is so high it basically dwarfs all other costs. 4-5x rent could mean a $100k job with enough left over after living expenses to max out a 401k and have entertainment funds.
Someone looking to foothold in the area and ‘just get by’ could still be able to afford rent and cheap living, not all the other stuff like going out or retirement, but get blocked by high income requirements. This leaves them with the choice of “screw you we don’t want poors” or “commute an hour plus and shift rent costs to car costs and extra pollution”.
It isn’t as simple as “they can’t afford it” when in a lot of cases you literally can but landlords are setting unreasonable bars.
I’m not sure why some places require 5x rent in income it is wildly excessive. My personal theory (based on hunches only I have found no evidence for this) is they want to only attract tenants who are less likely to leave after a year or two of 10% rent increases. They may also be trying to push gentrification by making sure only well off people enter a neighborhood, fuelling the need for more “luxury” apartments to be built and perpetuating their industry. Idk, they’re pretty tight lipped about the reasoning if someone has more insight into their motives I would love to know
Millennial here, I think I’ve seen maybe 2 episodes of the Simpsons ever. I feel very out of place in a lot of conversations especially at work (for a lot of reasons but this one is particularly noticable)
I mean, mormons are a thing (in the US at least idk how far they’ve spread) and polygamy isn’t that uncommon in patriarchal religions. Polyamory on the other hand tends to be more about personal freedoms and flies in the face of a lot of hierarchies.
Know the difference between polygamy and polyamory. Polygamy isn’t that uncommon but is often used to serve patriarchal hierarchies. Polyamory is much closer to “do whatever” (though that’s not strictly true).
I’m trans and let me tell you so many of us are polyamorous. In my personal experience it has to do with spending so much time fighting against society to claim our identity that we end up questioning a lot of social norms. I think that more people than we realize could live very happily being poly, and if we had better poly representation more people would know how to approach it in a healthy way. But it doesn’t serve the hierarchies we live under to let people love freely in that way, so it gets othered in media and by governments.
Also the “groups” you’re talking about teaming up in are typically called polycules. There are a lot of forms they can take it is an umbrella term.
I think that as people are made more aware of the harm caused by some aspects of society we’ll be better at questioning things like monogamy as a whole. It isn’t an overnight thing. Also, often even in the poly community it is considered an unstable way to raise children (I don’t agree with this but it is a common enough sentiment). I don’t think polyamory will overtake monogamy certainly not any time in my life but I hope it becomes more common.
Poly can be such a wild learning curve and so much personal growth. There can be a lot of heartbreak in being poly (my polycule split in half a while back, I’ve gone from 5 to 2 partners this year, my anchor of several years broke up with me over text recently I’m pretty devastated over that one), but so much love too it is all worth it imo. And not having to rely on one person for everything is great for everyone’s mental health. Breakups are a lot easier to manage because you don’t have to seek romantic/physical comfort from strangers or the other side of the breakup, there are other partners around to help comfort you.
And yeah, so much communication, and introspection, and evaluating social norms to figure out what parts are toxic. You really have to learn about your partners and be really clear with boundaries for everything to work well.
I chose my words intentionally for the context of the post. I said ‘often’ not ‘universally’. The post is asking about social acceptance and I was pointing out that polygamy already is socially acceptable in some cultures and where that’s true it is often in the form of patriarchal hierarchy.
Also polygamy by definition is a hierarchy because there is one primary partner with many partners/spouses, but those partners don’t have the same freedom to take on other partners. If they did, then that is called polyamory. Polyamory may or may not have hierarchy depending on the structure, polygamy has to have hierarchy.
Also you can be in a polyamorous relationship and still cheat. It all depends on what structure people are consenting to, where everyone’s boundaries are. Granted it is more rare but it still happens sometimes. For example I have a pretty strict boundary where I don’t want any of my existing partners to start dating any of my new partners until I’ve had a chance to establish the relationship dynamic between me and the new person. I would consider any of my partners crossing this boundary to be a type of cheating.
It depends on the person and the balance within a polycule. I do a lot better being able to spread out the amount and kinds of emotional support I need. I ask who has capacity to help me with things so nobody at any given time should be getting overloaded. When I was more monogamous if I needed emotional support and my partner was tapped at the time my choices were to strain the relationship or silently suffer.
The benefits like this are more than just emotional support too. I connect with people with physical touch even with friends. Monogamous people can get really jealous over that but being poly that jealousy has never happened. I feel more confident I can maintain friendships in a meaningful way for me because I’m poly.
Me and my nesting partner mostly just nest. I get to fill other needs with other people. If I were monogamous I’d have to decide if it was worth it to throw my living stability out the window so I can search for someone else who can be my everything.
It takes work for sure but I’ve found being poly a lot easier. The learning curve and finding boundaries can be wild and painful at times. A lot of that is because as a society we only really talk about relationships from a monogamous lens so anyone trying to explore being poly is usually going in blind and they don’t have words to describe what they’re looking for.
I’m married and poly. And yeah there are a lot of legal things surrounding marriage that I trust my nesting partner with. How to handle assets if I die suddenly, or what to do with me if I can no longer make decisions for myself, they’re important things to have someone for.
I was going to ask one of my other partners to ‘marry’ me in the sense we’d have a celebration with partners, friends, and possibly family with the focus of the celebration being our partnership. They ended up very unexpectedly breaking up with me recently so that fell through but the thought was there :/
One of my breakups happened during my most recent tranniversary party, their nesting partner broke up with me the next day, and my (at the time) anchor partner broke up with both of them like a week later. Going to be a little weird next tranniversary is also going to be a ‘polycule implosion’ anniversary. Going in sardonically sounds like a good idea
To list out a lot of the many things: They’ve done forced RTO which is pretty internally disliked, fired a ton of people lately, a bit ago the CEO publicly said anyone who doesn’t prioritize monetization are “the biggest fucking idiots”, they bought an ad company known for making malware, and they keep getting in bed with military contracts including Lockheed. Oh and they cancelled their example project game Gigaya which I’m still bitter over
deleted_by_author
An amazing video by J. Kenji Lopez-Alt where he explains how to shop for Japanese groceries plus Bonus Gyudon! (youtu.be)
Kenji did a great video walking around Uwajimaya explaining the different varieties of common Japanese ingredients and what he recommends getting. I’d say anyone looking to dip their toes or season experts of Japanese cooking will find some good info here.
You're only allowed to pick one (startrek.website)
Modern solutions (startrek.website)
Can't I just swat a mosquito or something? (lemmy.ca)
Hi, Super Nintendo Chalmers! (startrek.website)
ich🐟iel (lemmy.ml) German
What games do you think would be great if they'd get properly remastered and would be a hit if it was done?
I believe this will mostly affects games which were lacking in technology....
ich🐟iel (feddit.de) German
Unity Fallout Continues: Dev Group Shuts Down While Developers Refuse To Come Back (www.techdirt.com)
Do you think monogamy will always be the main "form" of earth or do we just break someday this code and just "do whatever we want"
Will this one-by-one system forever be our main thing or do you think we will break monogamy and maybe “team up” as groups or something?...
The race for "Worst Dumpster Fire" is heating up. Everyone place your bets! (lemmy.ml)
NASA’s first asteroid samples land on Earth after release from spacecraft (apnews.com)
Global oil production in 2022 (i.imgur.com)
deleted_by_moderator