I wish I had better advice, I’m afraid of a similar situation myself.
All I can think of is find some kind of local chapter of PFLAG or some other queer network. I know they’re not everywhere, but hopefully there’s something near enough to you, or at least remote support of some kind.
There are various websites that catalog all the instances they can find, but I can’t remember the one I used back in the day an don’t know if they search communities too or just instances
I had a similar childhood knowing I was different somehow but I don’t think any adults around me would have even considered autism as a possibility when and where I grew up. I think even now they probably have the mindset of “no you’re not the stereotypical depiction of a high needs autistic person” 🙄
Finding out you’re trans later in life is like watching a movie littered with spoilers for the ending but you don’t realize it til you get to the end look back.