Noite_Etion

Noite_Etion, 5 months ago

You only move twice.

Hank Scorpio : Uh, hi, Homer. What can I do for you?

Homer : Sir, I need to know where I can get some business hammocks.

Hank Scorpio : Hammocks? My goodness, what an idea. Why didn’t I think of that? Hammocks! Homer, there’s four places. There’s the Hammock Hut, that’s on third.

Homer : Uh-huh.

Hank Scorpio : There’s Hammocks-R-Us, that’s on third too. You got Put-Your-Butt-There.

Homer : Mm-Hmm.

Hank Scorpio : That’s on third. Swing Low, Sweet Chariot… Matter of fact, they’re all in the same complex; it’s the hammock complex on third.

Homer : Oh, the hammock district!

Hank Scorpio : That’s right.

Noite_Etion, 5 months ago

What rolls down stairs

Alone or in pairs,

Rolls over your neighbor’s dog?

What’s great for a snack

and fits on your back?

It’s Log, Log, Log!

It’s Lo-og, Lo-og,

It’s big, it’s heavy, it’s wood.

It’s Lo-og, Lo-og,

It’s better than bad, it’s good!

Everyone wants a Log!

You’re gonna love it, Log!

Come on and get your Log!

Everyone needs a Log (everyone wants a Log)…

You’re gonna love it, Log!

Noite_Etion, 5 months ago

Its like a Goldeneye character model

Noite_Etion, 5 months ago

This joke is full of holes.

Noite_Etion, 5 months ago

Frying pan is the obvious choice, I’ll invade Mordor with it.

Noite_Etion, 5 months ago

Barting Over?~~~~

Noite_Etion, 5 months ago

Pennywise changing up his tactics

Noite_Etion, 5 months ago

Dead putting society.

If you lose, you’re out of the family!

Noite_Etion, 5 months ago

Be nice if the article had specifics. What evidence was falsified, what was excluded and how far into this investigation are they.

I understand not much can be said until the allegations become more concrete. But it feels like the article is just click bait.

Noite_Etion, 5 months ago

I love when ranch is crunchy

Noite_Etion, 5 months ago

After reading that… I wouldn’t eat that cookie.

Noite_Etion, 5 months ago

Lol.

I mean a “kind stranger” will piss in my ass apparently, but it doesn’t rule out a “mean stranger” pissing in my cookie too.

What did i just write…

Noite_Etion, 5 months ago

Rod looking high af in that photo

Noite_Etion, 5 months ago

All this headline actually says is “The new model out performs the old one”.

Im shocked!

Noite_Etion, 5 months ago

And heeeere come the pretzels!

Noite_Etion, 5 months ago

Reminds me of my time working in checkout.

Checkout across from me was closed and a trolley put in the lane to block it off. While serving a woman with her kid, the little shit was fucking up my counter. He knocked over my water bottle and messed up my stacked pamphlets. I asked the woman to get him to stop and she told him off, but as she left the kid turned around and smacked my pamphlets again, laughed and as he went to run away he ran straight into the trolley across from me and clothes-lined himself on the handle HARD. I laughed my ass off right in the little shits face as he cried, his mother just grabbed him by the arm and walked off…

Great times.

Noite_Etion, 5 months ago

Depends on how big the fire is I suppose.

Noite_Etion, 5 months ago

Skinner: Well, I was wrong; the lizards are a godsend.

Lisa: But isn’t that a bit short-sighted? What happens when we’re overrun by lizards?

Skinner: No problem. We simply release wave after wave of Chinese needle snakes. They’ll wipe out the lizards.

Lisa: But aren’t the snakes even worse?

Skinner: Yes, but we’re prepared for that. We’ve lined up a fabulous type of gorilla that thrives on snake meat.

Lisa: But then we’re stuck with gorillas!

Skinner: No, that’s the beautiful part. When wintertime rolls around, the gorillas simply freeze to death.

Noite_Etion, 5 months ago

Was waiting for Hicks and Ripley to exit the lift and get melted

Noite_Etion, 5 months ago

If only selfies existed back then. He would have turned around to see John Wilkes Booth coming.

Noite_Etion, 5 months ago

Why is ‘USA’ specified for Austin, but not Miami.

Ah yes, the great nation of Miami.

Noite_Etion, 5 months ago

We fire the whole bullet. That’s 65% more bullet per bullet. This is the same technology we’ve been using on robots for decades. Scares the hell out of them.

Noite_Etion, 6 months ago

As someone who works the night shift. This is me every outing.

Noite_Etion, 6 months ago

Metro flashbacks

Noite_Etion, 6 months ago

We have reviewed the footage and concluded we didn’t do anything wrong. The officer is now on paid leave (nice vacation) and any damages caused will be paid for by the tax payers.

We now consider the matter closed.

Huge /s just in case.

ACAB