@Tim_McTuffty
🤗 Glad you're feeling a bit better. And yeah, the moments we're on our own can be quite good as we can be ourselves all the way then... 😊
Have a good night sweets 😘
Diary of an ASD Squirrel. Day 205 , Tuesday 21/05/2024
TL:DR Late up today , so was more or less ignored. Clues to whether I’m AuDHD & if I’m going thru a burnout period came to light from fellow ND Peeps.
I had a somewhat enforced lay in this morning, in that I was so exhausted that I simply slept thru all the noise that would usually wake me up.
I finally got up around 07:30. Life obviously went on without me, even though Mrs S. was working from home.
Me: I’m a total introvert & wish to be alone.
Also Me when wife zones me out because I was late to get up: I’m so lonely !!!
Is the mind of an ND bananas or what ! (Possibly some for of nut in my case 🤦♂️ )
I risked a ‘proper’ breakfast this morning - I seem to have survived it 😊
I would normally have cleaned the bathroom today, but because I’m not feeling so good that didn’t happen. I know from past experience it won’t get done until I feel well enough, be that days or even weeks 🙄🤦♂️
I wrote a little while back , when I got the results of my assessment thru , that the Consultant Psychiatrist had suggested that I be assessed for ADHD too. That is currently on hold.
But , & here’s the thing I read a toot ( linked below) from @ashleyspencer that totally spoke to me & I recognised EVERYTHING she was talking about !
Well call me a Squirrel & bounce a walnut off me ‘ed !
I number of other folk on here have suggested that I had ADHD symptoms , but I could never put the whole package together in my own head to the point that I ‘felt’ it!
Maybe I need to pull the whole ‘getting ADHD assessment’ off the back burner ?
I also realised ,based on a toot from @pathfinder (again see the link below) that I may well be experiencing a period of autistic burnout - it seems to be so similar , in key ways to where I am at the moment. No wonder I’m struggling!
Got back into the post-apocalyptic world of Fo4 this afternoon, I had forgotten how enjoyable this game is.
Final Thoughts.
I am struck once again how much I am coming to depend on the @actuallyautistic community to help me progress on my ASD journey and understand more about me!
Special thanks to Ashley & Kevin for pointing the way today. 🙏
Thank you to all those who are helping me on this journey, in a myriad different ways. I am thankful to each & every one of you! 🫂 🫶🐿️🖖
@Tim_McTuffty
Ello sweets!
First of all, don't stress getting the "labels" too much. While they can be helpful at times, nothing much will probably change once you have them...
In my experience, it helped me to get a better understanding of why I do things. I can explain my reasoning a bit better to friends and family.
But others won't treat you differently if they don't care to begin with... You'll still be who you are. There's no medical solution that can "fix" everything. Even without the official label, you can still be validated as being ND in more than one way. ITMS... 🤔
I did have some group therapy for the AuDHD and it didn't help me one bit... 😔 People even told me I used my diagnosis to have a reason to be an asshat 🤔 so it won't make that much of a difference to have the label, don't pressure yourself too much...
What helped me was to read about it, I read the easier books like the Dummy ones, as the more technical were harder for me. I tried to talk about it with people that supported me. My bestie even asked to read the dummy books so she could have a better understanding. 😊 But not all people are like that. Some will see the label as an excuse for your "bad behavior" towards them... 😔
Just wanna say, read, talk, explore and not stress about it.
Having an official label won't change who you are on the inside. And to many people on the outside, it probably won't make a big difference, unfortunately...
"Just" my experience since being diagnosed in early 2011. Things may have changed since then, maybe they're better in the UK than they are here... I went in for ADHD testing and came out with AuDHD in the end. But what helped me most was the self awareness. Why do I think and do differently and why that isn't bad or wrong, perse...
Sorry, long reply!!! Good luck 🍀 and I hope you'll find an inner peace with it all. Because that may help you to feel a bit more relaxed, perhaps. 🤗
Diary of an ASD Squirrel. Day 205 , Monday 20/05/2024
Was up till the early hours of this morning with stomach cramps after last nights daring attempt to eat scrambled eggs & beans for tea.
Spent the day getting lots of exercise up & down the stairs to take a pew, if you get my drift.
Attempted to interact on here a couple of times but my brain is apparently on sick leave so it didn’t go exactly to plan 🙄🤦♂️
Hopefully tomorrow will be better !
Final Thoughts.
Is the babel fish truly a fish if it spends most of its life out of water ?
This & other great questions of our age will have to wait until I can think straight!
Thank you to all those who are helping me on this journey, in a myriad different ways. I am thankful to each & every one of you! 🫂 🫶🐿️🖖
@Tim_McTuffty
Never stop dreaming of a future.
And remember you may be able to give yours a direction with the choices you make...
At least that's what I am trying to do 😇
Take your vitamins, eat well, exercise some 😉 and hopefully it will all add up to feeling better soon!!!
It has for me, so I share this from my experience. We're all different of course. But I do believe with a healthier body also comes a wee bit happier mind. 🤗 😘
Have a good night sweets 💜🍀 and 🐶 👅 🐾 from Arwen 😉
Diary of an ASD Squirrel. Day 203 , Saturday 18/05/2024
Ruff as a bears bum today, no energy, no appetite, everything I do hurts.
It’s probably only man-flu again, I seem to catch every bug going at the moment & regular Squirrel Spotters will be aware that I’m a bit of a wuss when it comes to common or garden illness. 🙄🤦♂️
I keep plodding along, hoping that I catch a break at some point.
I am better this afternoon, this morning I felt like death warmed up, lunch was 5/6 of 2 rounds of toast - don’t ask - & tea will be venturing into the dubious gastronomic delights of a can of tommy soup.
I am a little brighter & well enough to write my diary, so that is an improvement.
Final Thoughts.
Please can someone hail a Delorean to transport me back to my 40s ?
I have to say that I am in total awe of those folk I know who live with chronic pain, chronic depression is a walk in the park in comparison, you peeps are the bravest folk I know!
Thank you to all those who are helping me on this journey, in a myriad different ways. I am thankful to each & every one of you! 🫂 🫶🐿️🖖
@Tim_McTuffty
Oof I guess the Chinese and pizza don't exactly hold many vitamins nope... Nor will it be effective to help Woof in the right direction. 😔
Would be smart to get a wee bit healthier foods in there or at lest some helpful supplements to get some of the needed vitamins at least....
@Tim_McTuffty
Ow yeah, weather definitely affects the moods!! Warm is nice, too hot isn't. Dry is nice. But some rains are needed at times as well... 😊 Preferably when we're inside 😇 haha!
Hope you had a decent enough day even with the English weather!
Have a good sleep sweets! 😘
Diary of an ASD Squirrel. Day 200 , Wednesday 15/05/2024
Up early again , breakfast, chores , whole 9 yards.
I’ve been referred to the local cardiology dept for my dizzy spells , phone appointment next month, I don’t hold out much hope that they will get anywhere, but never say never hey !
Octopus Energy , after an initially promising start, have totally failed to get our smart meter system working properly. Both meters appear to be transmitting so that at least is an improvement but the IHD is only showing electric readings. In the latest episode the help desk lass - ‘Edna’ gave me the instructions to set up a budget …. Despite me sending her a photo showing that the IHD is NOT seeing the gas meter at all!
I mean will setting a budget magically get the comms going between the gas meter & the IHD ? I think not !
Final Thoughts.
Why is it so hard to get seemingly simple things done in this world ?
Thank you to all those who are helping me on this journey, in a myriad different ways. I am thankful to each & every one of you! 🫂 🫶🐿️🖖
Diary of an ASD Squirrel. Day 198 , Tuesday 14/05/2024
Up just before 6am for some reason that will have scientists puzzled long after the Unified Field Theory is discovered!
Breakfast is done & coffee is drunk.
I sit looking at my TL & feeling a strange reluctance to engage. It’s not that anyone has upset me or that I’m particularly triggered by a toot . I just shy away from interaction with the rest of the Fediverse.
Some of it is that I feel overwhelmed by the number of folk I have to respond to - I have to respond to everyone who mentions me or who greets the world at large, it’s an unconscious imperative for me.
Most days I love this level of interaction, it energises me & elevates my spirits, but not today.
I will engage with folk, because I feel that I will failed them & myself if I don’t.
Maybe a shower first though, prevaricating ….
Ok so the day got better & SM was engaged with !
Hit Fo4 this afternoon then the usual evening activities.
Final Thoughts.
Ok struggling at the moment , thank Nuggan it’s warm & mostly sunny otherwise it might be quiet grim!
Thank you to all those who are helping me on this journey, in a myriad different ways. I am thankful to each & every one of you! 🫂 🫶🐿️🖖
It’s hard to manage sometimes , sometimes I just don’t have the energy to deal with anything, but then I feel guilty & lazy so I push myself to at least answer mentions & say hi & bye.
If it helps I always wanna read your stuff sweetie 🤗🥰
@Tim_McTuffty@PixysJourney@actuallyautistic
Thanks that's so sweet of you, and mutual!!
I always know there are some folks here who will raise a smile and make the day easier to deal with 🥰🥰
Diary of an ASD Squirrel. Day 198 , Monday 13/05/2024
Up early for some reason beyond this simple squirrels reasoning.
Tidied up after herself, did my chores & went for a walk in the warm early summer sunshine !
I cannot seem to find the impetus to get stuff done, I work best to a deadline & the only person pushing me at the moment is me, which would be fine but I have minimal motivation levels at the moment.
I’m wondering from day to day like a leaf blowing in the breeze, no direction, no purpose.
At least the days are warm now & a lot sunnier, saving energy is easier , my lone mission to drag our energy bills down is less onerous in the summer.
Final Thoughts.
I suspect that I am going through a depressive episode, I hope I come through to the other side soon.
Thank you to all those who are helping me on this journey, in a myriad different ways. I am thankful to each & every one of you! 🫂 🫶🐿️🖖
@Tim_McTuffty
Owwww relaxing is nice. That's a long lie in! That's why I missed ya in the morning 😉 Hihi...
Lovely weather is always a treat. We're supposed to get thunder this evening. 😊
Have a good start to the new week sweets! We're already going to halfway being May already. Time flies! 🌸
🤗 Have a good night sweets 😘
Diary of an ASD Squirrel. Day 195 , Friday 10/05/2024
I woke when herself decided that 05:45 was a good time to get up - must get in the hours reading time before we go to work!
Managed to get out for another walk , a bit earlier today & those I came across were a lot friendlier than yesterday , everybody responded & smiled 😊 .
Did the daily chores but was in a funny mood, I really felt the need for isolation today , I had a quick spin on Masto but then hid away for the day.
I was strangely chuffed by being visited by 3 bees today , one was a seriously tubby bumble bee !
In contrast I noticed this evening that the 3 spiders who had taken up residence in the top outside corners of our kitchen window have vanished, they left egg balls but either they haven’t hatched or the youngsters have hatched & left. Point being , that for the first time in several years no spiders - & barely any midges from the pond . So I wonder if the spiders left due to lack of prey ?
Finished the day with a pizza, a couple of pints of cider & a ‘Silent Witness’ or 2 .
Final Thoughts.
I had a thought yesterday following a conversation with a neighbour:
I find it ridiculously hard to start conversations , but once started I find it more difficult to end them, I don’t seem to recognise the body language that says ‘bugger off , we’re done here’ & continue to witter on, until it gets awkward or the other party (as happened yesterday ) gets interrupted by a 3rd party.
I wonder if this is related to my autistic self. I wonder if other autistic folks have a similar experience ?
Thank you to all those who are helping me on this journey, in a myriad different ways. I am thankful to each & every one of you! 🫂 🫶🐿️🖖
Diary of an ASD Squirrel. Day 194 , Thursday 09/05/2024
Woke to a possibly the best , sunniest day so far this year.
Sorted breakfast & tidied up after herself, then almost in-spite of myself went for a short (2km) walk.
For the first time, in a long time I had a good walk! I was not pushing all the way, a steady pace didn’t wipe me out ! The birds were singing & the sun was warm & bright!
Shame about the dog walkers - I was out a bit later than normal so maybe it was a different crowd, but what an ignorant , arrogant bunch of stuck up … one person responded to my greeting one!
What happened to good manners ? Maybe they are too woke ???
It’s little wonder I don’t do people in the flesh !
My sudden burst of energy persisted thru today , (I hope this isn’t a manic phase, I hate dropping off the end of those !
The kettle was brutally descaled to within an inch of its life & then because the solar panels were maxing out in the sunshine I went wild & gave the washing machine a deep clean. Of course by the time that I had cleaned the powder dispenser & the seals & started the cleaning wash cycle the sun went behind the clouds ! 🙄🤦♂️
Hit Fo4 this afternoon sure in the knowledge that I actually achieved something today !
It’s pitiful when you look at it objectively , but in comparison to recently it was a good day.
Cooked beans & scrambled eggs for tea, partially because we had some eggs to use up & partially because I wanted something easy.
Finished the evening watching ‘Masters of the Air’ , same crew that made Band of Brothers - but as with the one they did on the Pacific its not of the same quality as BoB !
Final Thoughts.
I miss companionship sometimes , I’m about as social as a polar bear with shingles but sometimes it would be nice to just be with someone, not worry about masking , not pretend to be fine, not fake enjoyment of another’s pastime.
Hey ho, it is what it is.
Thank you to all those who are helping me on this journey, in a myriad different ways. I am thankful to each & every one of you! 🫂 🫶🐿️🖖