elfpie

@elfpie@beehaw.org

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elfpie,

There is an immense range of variation in female bodies, and obviously I can’t cover all contingencies. While I hope that everyone can get something from this guide, when I make generalizations about what a female body “is,” I’m talking about an average woman at a healthy weight: not much in the way of muscle mass, and curvy enough to be unmistakably female.

I’m trying to be very careful with my words here, because I don’t believe the author of the guide was. He talked about his personal experience, what he learned from it, and he was kind enough to organize and share everything. That’s all good. He also reinforces and disseminates harmful body issues. And that’s the part that bothered me from the guide’s tittle.

I’m a nonbinary man. I say that to inform my perspective in regards to the subject, where I’m coming from and my limitations. At this point in my life, I don’t have to pass, I have never had to worry about passing or having my identity invalidated by the way I look. I believe that passing is just something we do to be able to exist in society and that our goal should be expressing our identity the best way we can without being chained by societal expectations.

I didn’t want to be negative. I wanted to put a warning for those that would read the guide, but the more I read, the more I can’t recommend people dealing with any body related issues to read. I’ll leave it at that or it’ll become an attack with me quoting everything I find problematic or harmful.

elfpie,

I almost didn’t post the comment. There’s always the thought of causing harm by initiating a conversation out of place or being harsh to someone with no malice. I never dismiss someone’s else words. I think about what they said, how I’m interpreting it, what I see and can not see.

As I said before, I don’t want to break down the text and destroy the goodwill just to see if I’m right. If my impression is wrong, I’ll just accept it and move on. It’s definitely not my place to decide.

elfpie,

I didn’t mean to imply that being non binary is superior. The reason I mentioned it was to show my limitations. I said I had never had to pass to make explicit that I’m speaking without having this experience, without a particular struggle that may be vital to read the author correctly. The chains are the invisible expectations we impose to those around us. I believe in choice, and I believe in the author’s choice. I don’t believe in upsetting people, but I’ll do that from time to time.

elfpie,

LGBTQ+ Identity Does Not Cause Depression — Discrimination Does

There has never been a better number one. For as much there’s internal mechanisms contributing to your depression, the hostility you face by trying to simply exist in the world will result in very understandable behaviors.

elfpie,

I don’t know your friend, but he may feel like he’s losing you as well. The world is burning and cishet men have trouble finding a place to be safe. We assume they don’t need one, but most of the space they have is not good.

It’s hard to do what I’m going to suggest when you are suffering as well, so put yourself first. Forget any groups, treat you two as your community and ask what exactly is bothering him. What happens that make him feel oppressed? How does you supporting another community harm him? If anything else, his pain is real, he can’t put it into words and end up invalidated. That’s actually a point you have in common, you may start there.

elfpie,

I think there’s something missing in this article. It sounded familiar and I remembered the old news when they mentioned Google and Australia. The issue with Google was that the news would show in the search results, which meant there’s no need to visit the source.

Gender Identity Scale

I’ve recently begun going through a bit of a personal renaissance regarding my gender, and I realized my numbers-focused brain needs something to quantify gender identity, both for myself and so I can better understand others. I also just don’t like socially-constructed labels, at least for myself....

elfpie,

It’s an interesting exercise. It made me think about several issues that I wish to discuss in the future. I don’t really agree with your presentation, but I have some suggestions.

You should quantify everything as either 0 or 1. This is a binary scale. There’s man and there’s woman, no third option, no in between. You can say X and / or Y is part of your identity and if it’s always the case or not, the Z.

I understand that you wanted to express that some people are not as much X or Y, but I believe that’s a reality for trans and cis people. Non binary, in my personal view, deconstructs genders and don’t really put them back together.

All that said, the moment we accept gender as a social construct, we have to accept individual definitions. I tried to work inside what I felt you were aiming to say. You be the judge.

elfpie,

“I’m a Dad, but I don’t have to be a man” is just beautiful.

elfpie,

Another mastodon instance (my first home in the fediverse): @tech.lgbt

Sick Woman Theory - Johanna Hedva (theanarchistlibrary.org)

I love this essay and cannot recommend it enough. It’s a piece of theory that when i first read it made me feel seen and validated and politically relevant at a moment when I really felt like I didn’t exist at all. I like to reread it whenever those feelings kick back up. (It’s also definitely not only aimed at women, as...

elfpie,

Psychologists have constructed a myth – that somewhere there exists some state of health which is the norm, meaning that most people presumably are in that state, and those who are anxious, depressed, neurotic, distressed, or generally unhappy are deviant.

The Sick Woman is a disabled person who couldn’t go to the lecture on disability rights because it was held in a venue without accessibility.

The concept of invisible disability comes to mind. They are not so much invisible as just more easily ignored. Disability becomes invisible when your spaces don’t allow our presence, when your activities don’t accommodate our participation, when your solution is simply to fix us because you believed we are just wrong.

I knew about the reality women faced when seeking medical treatment before, but the way it was framed resonated with me even more this time. We can be oppressed in so many different ways that we get separated and forget how much society can equalize us by their mistreatment. There are so many ways of oppresing our peers that we should be vigilante not to be contributing to the wrong movement. And silencing is the sin on the menu today.

Silencing is not hearing one’s story, and if we believe everyone should have a voice, we need to go after those who can’t speak or find it difficult to do so instead of expecting them to show up. Make spreading other people stories part of your political acts, make them visible in the spaces you visit, in the spaces you want them to visit.

elfpie,

I think something that prevented me from sharing content in spaces that promote discussions was having nothing to say, but I don’t really have to every single time.

A Spelling Mistake Is Causing Thousands of Sensitive Pentagon Documents to Be Leaked to a Russian Ally (themessenger.com)

Over 100,000 U.S. military emails have been misdirected to Mali this year due to a spelling mistake that sent emails to .ML instead of .MIL addresses. The emails contain sensitive information about personnel, travel plans, and financial records. While not classified, the data could provide intelligence value if exploited....

elfpie,

The fact treason is as easy as a spelling mistake is worrisome. Don’t trust users not to shoot themselves in the foot.

elfpie,

Thanks for sharing. It’s a really good article and an important subject.

It’s so absurd that doctors prescribe surgical procedures because they believe you can fix a body to conform to social expectations. They cause harm to no health related benefits.

elfpie,

I have been experiencing the same issue. The action is performed, but it seems the confirmation is not received. It happens in liftoff, thunder and Firefox.

elfpie,

The cardboard boxes become common for home deliveries here. Banning plastic bags was a battle that went nowhere without a good alternative.

People need to be educated for things to work. Expose everyone to the solutions until it becomes ingrained.

elfpie,

Not in Brazil. Charging backfired really quickly and the solution was biodegradable plastic, which might mean just plastic that breaks down in plastic we can’t see.

How bisexuality changed video games (www.youtube.com)

It’s a video about sexuality as a gaming mechanic. The same way you might play as a mage or a warrior, you can choose who your character is interested in. Except you don’t realize you have an option until someone else that played the game in a different way tells you. There’s a focus on bisexual erasure as well....

elfpie,

We really do need more romance in games not being presented as a mean to get a prize. Maybe some randomness could be applied and the same actions would not always result in the desired outcomes.

It was curious when I realized, not many years ago, that people found strange to play a character with a different gender. Imagining a different sexuality is probably the same. In both cases, games don’t go deep in making you feel like the other, which is kinda sad.

elfpie,

I had a blog many years ago. The culture around it was very curious and I wish I remembered it well. It was a bunch of blogs with links to all the other blogs that they would recommend and interacted with. Maybe blogs weren’t contaminated by the thought we should be entertaining others all the time. Lurkers wasn’t even a concept.

Reddit removes years of chat and message archives from users' accounts (mashable.com)

Reddit recently removed years of chat and message archives from users’ accounts without warning as part of an infrastructure upgrade. Many Redditors were upset to discover that their chat histories from before January 2023 were no longer accessible. Reddit claims they only migrated data from 2023 forward during the transition...

elfpie,

This might be relevant: tildes.net/…/reddit_is_silently_restoring_deleted…

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