@indigotyrian@akko.elysium.gay avatar

indigotyrian

@indigotyrian@akko.elysium.gay

"You cannot have my pain."

Dollposting, Gaming, Fiction, and other Assorted Things

Avatar by Cura Sylfaen / Banner by Gabriela Bosco

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indigotyrian, to random
@indigotyrian@akko.elysium.gay avatar

aaaaaaaaaa my favorite ES writer shared one of my stories :nekomimi_girl_emoji_002:

indigotyrian,
@indigotyrian@akko.elysium.gay avatar

@Dani Wintergreen 😋

indigotyrian, to random
@indigotyrian@akko.elysium.gay avatar

a good friend of mine just told me “if I saw someone treating another person the way you treat yourself I would punch them in the mouth” and i wish i knew how to process this or be better about it. i wish i knew how to be my own best friend instead of my own worst enemy.

indigotyrian, to random
@indigotyrian@akko.elysium.gay avatar

is it normal to break down sobbing and crying while doing your morning grooming routine

indigotyrian,
@indigotyrian@akko.elysium.gay avatar

I hurt the love of my life last night and have zero recollection of it, my body is a misshapen ugly broken mess, I'm trapped in an abusive job with terrible pay, i don't have the money to fix myself, the thing I got for my birthday doesnt work for what I wanted it for, I think about ending it daily

indigotyrian, to random
@indigotyrian@akko.elysium.gay avatar

why can't I get a .doll tld

indigotyrian, to random
@indigotyrian@akko.elysium.gay avatar

I always had a fantasy where I was a heroic sacrifice. I die in a huge explosion or in a last stand against impossible odds giving other, better people time to escape and live another day

Maybe I can actually have my fantasy irl now

indigotyrian,
@indigotyrian@akko.elysium.gay avatar

@Dani I want to be gone. I don't want to be here anymore. I want to die. If I can die in service of something better than me that'd be ideal.

indigotyrian,
@indigotyrian@akko.elysium.gay avatar

@Dani if I haven't earned the right to anything I guess that explains why I should just be put in a labor camp

indigotyrian,
@indigotyrian@akko.elysium.gay avatar

@Dani I see. I appreciate that, I do. I'm sorry I'm not more... Receptive I suppose. I'm usually abandoned pretty quickly. If you vanish too I won't hold it against you.

indigotyrian, to random
@indigotyrian@akko.elysium.gay avatar

Even among misfits I’m a misfit.

indigotyrian,
@indigotyrian@akko.elysium.gay avatar

@Dani not really. its my lot in life to get shunned, exiled, and kicked out of places I find myself comfortable in

indigotyrian, to random
@indigotyrian@akko.elysium.gay avatar

awawawawa they put my actual name on my sandwich at jimmy johns!!!!!

normally they just do the combo number but today they actually put my name on there 😊

indigotyrian, to random
@indigotyrian@akko.elysium.gay avatar

Tooth update: turns out it's not a cavity. It's an abfraction from tooth grinding. Just need to keep it clean and use high fluoride toothpaste and I'll be okay. Feeling better about it but still nervous... I need to be better about wearing my mouth guard

indigotyrian, to random
@indigotyrian@akko.elysium.gay avatar

Two cavities. On the sides of my incisors. Caused by soda probably. I hope they're just fillings and don't need a root canal or anything. I'm so scared. I'm terrified. I don't know what I'll do if I need a root canal.

indigotyrian, to random
@indigotyrian@akko.elysium.gay avatar

20000 characters is a shitton… is it possible to get in-line pictures in a post on akkoma? If so I might just move all my long-form posting from cohost over to here. I still love my Tyrian essay and I’d hate for it to be stuck on the furry sugar daddy site

indigotyrian, to random
@indigotyrian@akko.elysium.gay avatar

i’m hearing from multiple folks I believe to be trustworthy and tasteful individuals that the new fallout TV series is… good? what

indigotyrian, to random
@indigotyrian@akko.elysium.gay avatar

executive function depleted so low that I'm currently lying on the floor catatonic after doing almost nothing at all today

indigotyrian, to random
@indigotyrian@akko.elysium.gay avatar

awawa

DivineKestrel, to random
@DivineKestrel@chaosfem.tw avatar

And by "therapy," I mean "buying everything in my size from the Torrid clearance rack."

indigotyrian,
@indigotyrian@akko.elysium.gay avatar

@Dani @jamie_blumberg @DivineKestrel grats!!!

indigotyrian, to random
@indigotyrian@akko.elysium.gay avatar

Hi hi!

I’m Indigo, or Indi if you’d like. I’m a (as of this writing, very recently) trans, CPTSD-surviving/autistic/ADHD/BPD hobbyist game modder/designer and writer. I have a deep love for science fiction, the darker, grittier, hornier, more politically charged, and more inscrutable the better. I grew up almost symbiotically attached to an IBM/Compatible PC which has influenced basically everything about me. I’m told I’m a pretty good cook, too.

I’d like to share my thoughts on things, whether that be game design, retrocomputing ephemera, prose microfiction, or what have you, with you all.

A Few Of My Favorite Things (By Far Not Exhaustive)

🕹️: Deus Ex, Sid Meier’s Alpha Centauri, Tyrian, Brigador

📖: The Stormlight Archive (really the Cosmere in general but Oathbringer changed my life), Nick “ulillillia” Smith (only semi-ironically), Larry Niven’s Known Space, Harlan Ellison in general

📺: Star Trek (especially DS9), Dennou Coil, Xavier: Renegade Angel, Panty and Stocking with Garterbelt

📽️: Robocop, Perfect Blue, Patlabor 2, Johnny Mnemonic

🎶: Miharu Koshi, XTC, Ryu Umemoto, Infected Mushroom

Thank you so much for having me!

indigotyrian,
@indigotyrian@akko.elysium.gay avatar

@Dani I’ll be honest, I do need to read more cyberpunk novels. Literature in general is a space I feel regretfully underread in, though I’d love to hear suggestions and such!

astrid, to random
@astrid@fedi.astrid.tech avatar

rj45 is such a funny connector if you think about it. it was designed for telephone switching in the 70s and 80s and it actually is fairly reasonably designed for a telephone signal connector. But it became used for Ethernet, and more Ethernet, and faster signals, and now we're able to send 10gbps down this little 8 pin jack from the 70s, and I'm surprised that it still works for this purpose

indigotyrian,
@indigotyrian@akko.elysium.gay avatar

@astrid with CAT7 we tried to move to a different connector and everyone hated it so much CAT7 basically doesn’t exist. we’re stuck with RJ45 lmao

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