zaxxon

zaxxon, 6 months ago to random

Here’s a funny story.

I always remembered around the time I was 10-12 (1978-1980) there being some sort of thing going on in the family around Chief Fucker (not Thug Fucker mentioned in most recent posts, but the one who had many deleterious impacts on my life, and my sole (single occurrence) physical abuser).

I always thought it had to do with an unwanted pregnancy and the “dealing with” that.

Fast forward 45ish years, and I get the following message from CF…

1/n

zaxxon, 7 months ago to random

Stop the roller coaster, I want to get off. So tired.

zaxxon, 8 months ago to random

I've been sick for a week & a half, & now over the last couple of days I have had a terrible despondency regarding the ability of my SO and I to find a mutually sustainable ND/NT balance.

To at least some degree, I'm being asked to be NT (or less ND, more accurately). We both understand the problem with that, but for my SO, even my degree of neurodiversity is starting to look like a dealbreaker.

All exacerbated by me being unable to work through stuff previously, so she has hit breaking point.

ashleyspencer, 9 months ago to random

I’m much better today. I had to take a med to make me sleep last night and it’s got me really chilled out today haha. Groggy, but it’s nice to have relief.

ashleyspencer, 9 months ago to random

What’s the story behind Autism Society?

They sent me an email and want to partner with me. Place a massive order for fidgets and use the products as giveaways at one of their upcoming events. Said they would put my logo on materials and give my store media exposure. It’s a legit email.

Don’t know how I feel about it. It could massively help my store, but if Autism Society has a bad history and autistics don’t like them, I’ll just be vilified even more.

ashleyspencer, 9 months ago to random

I had a nice conversation with a customer this morning. They asked me questions about the products and how they benefit autistic people. I infodumped about them, of course. It was a nice reminder of why I care so much about the autistic community.

I became so jaded after hundreds of people (including autistics) said such awful things about me. Started to think why do I care.

My account over there is private now and the people who follow me have been really supportive. I feel a glimmer of hope.

zaxxon, 9 months ago to random

For those who don't follow me elsewhere, I've set this account up to explore some of the more spectrum-related issues I'm currently facing.

What that means is, if you follow me in both places, I may not follow back here (which means if I already have, I may unfollow) – I'm already struggling with the size of my timeline elsewhere but currently have it under control, so doubling up on posts makes no sense.

No insult intended!

#ActuallyAutistic

zaxxon, 9 months ago to random

Quick #introduction before I pad it out later...

55yo, self-diagnosed, struggling with some aspects of my life (primarily related to childhood trauma, late recognition of being on the spectrum, and relating with my SO).

Basically, I'm a hot mess.

I can't guarantee I will follow you back – feel free to DM me, though!