When I was a kid, I thought Joe Pesci was actually a dirty cop in Home Alone. As an adult, I have to admire how he finessed information out of his targets.
Tfw your roommate returns at 1am and leaves by 6am. Mofo you wonder why you always eat sleep for lunch, it's because you out like the Batman. Bought yourself a whole ass bed, sleep in it 2 days a week for 5 hours at a time. Good purchase homie. Do me a favor, you out visiting your bae? Stay the fucking night.
She could use the love and I could use not having to ask myself Is That A Burglar Or Your Clown Ass, and a couple hours extra sleep without you marching down the hall like you about to execute Order 66. You picked your jank sleep schedule, not me dog.