KarthNemesis

KarthNemesis, 9 hours ago

i like my AMD ATI Radeon RX 5600. after I figured out it has a tiny tiny TINY hidden physical overclock switch they don't ever mention for some godforsaken reason (which is put "on" by default, also for some godforsaken reason) to turn off, it's the most stable graphics card i've ever used.
...i just recommend turning off the tiny evil hidden crash switch of doom.

amd in general is pretty chill on linux for a large portion of people.

KarthNemesis, 9 days ago

I legit knew a repub irl that baldly admitted to thinking like this.

(Old family friend, used to be the adults' way of saying they were accepting of other political beliefs. "You can make friends/marriages across the aisle work, if you're just patient and tolerant" kind of self-aggrandizement. Cue the guy bullying his liberal wife into voting repub for years and eventually ditching her on a whim after controlling her entire life... at this point even my "tolerant" family was fed up with him and had been sticking around only to keep the wife company, and her poor kids.)

One minor example (of many) of what appeared to be hypocrisy on the surface:
Railing against the welfare system, nonstop unprompted for years, and then when he lost his job he sat on it for as long as possible before he was forced to find a job. It wasn't that he was struggling to find a job, he didn't even attempt to try until the deadline was pending. He was proud of "abusing the system."

I wouldn't even criticize him for it if he hadn't spent years talking about how people who ever used welfare were lazy and selfish. But he was the laziest and most selfish person I have ever spent any meaningful amount of time with. He's a big reason I don't tolerate entertaining republicans.

If that man had a rule he could bend or break, even if it hurt others, maybe especially if it hurt others, he would and feel no regret or remorse. He thought it was mostly amusing to torment people. His kids especially. And his dog.

He's not the only republican I've met that thinks like him. Just the most careless. Said too many quiet parts out loud.

It's not hypocrisy to him. You're absolutely right, it's just them telling on themselves as to what to expect from them if they have the space to. Any leniency in the systems exist to be abused, and too often many of them are too happy to.

KarthNemesis, 8 days ago

This was during that brief period where it wasn't really in vogue to hate minorities that openly, ha.

KarthNemesis, 14 days ago

I heard some advice a while back that was along the lines of, "stop apologizing and start thanking," and I feel like it's positively impacted how I phrase things.

Instead of asking forgiveness and moving the conversation into them feeling they have to defend their values on the spot, showing gratitude for their understanding actually makes people feel more valued. "Thank you for your patience" is an entirely different vibe than "sorry I didn't get back to you" and puts much less burden on them. It shows you care about their time without making the focus about your failings and whether or not they agree they are failings.

It's subtle, but I find it's made a huge difference for me.

I also agree with others, in my experience apologies should be reserved for regret and actual feelings of penitence. It's actually a very strong value of mine nowadays, and it certainly makes me much healthier.

Just some thoughts about what I've learned about this particular situation, it's up to you how valid you think they are.

KarthNemesis, 12 days ago

I do commiserate with the feeling that communicating anything takes a lot of energy and deliberateness to get across what one would actually like to, without compromising values. It's part of why I wouldn't mind finding some autistic friends, it's been exhausting to have had this expected of me by default for so long.

I think surety in ones' own sense of self takes time and introspection like you are doing now. I used to struggle more with being afraid of not "really" being autistic, bipolar etc, but time has showed me that I was right and trusting myself when it comes to myself is the smart thing to do. It's possible you could get a sense of closure in that regard, in time, as well.

But even if you don't, taking it tongue-in-cheek and keeping introspective means you're growing, and that's always a good thing ^^

KarthNemesis, 19 days ago

I exclusively use "could you repeat that?" Cuz otherwise... yeah.

Rarely, even with being careful, they do still try to expound instead of repeating, which is annoying when I'm trying to accommodate them with specific directions. But it is at least done less.

KarthNemesis, 19 days ago

"People who are discriminated against have more stress and PTSD. This probably is because they are more sensitive."

Sigh.

KarthNemesis, 19 days ago

And I said "probably." I didn't misrepresent them.

If it is the first go-to speculation, it is fairly representative of the default of what they assume could be valid, and it's annoying. That the automatic primary speculation is that minorities are "just sensitive" should be challenged. Tentative couching of that prognosis does not excuse them from review.

I realize you did not state this as your position, and I do not expect you to defend it as your own, but I'd very much prefer to stave off any implication.

KarthNemesis, 17 days ago

It's not a verbatim quote. It's sardonic, derived from the introduction.

I do not like being called "particularly vulnerable to the impact of traumatic events," ha. Even if they are utilizing that phrasing primarily for kids and young adults, and hedge it in tentativeness, it genuinely is not a dissimilar wordage to people who had been abusive to me during those periods of my life.

I wasn't particularly vulnerable to the impact, I was in a crap situation trapped with people who deeply did not understand me, that had complete power over me. That would be bad for anyone.

It's not a critique of the article as a whole. More of a pet peeve on how many people frame approaching autism, even without any malignant intention. I don't hold any ill will against the researchers, I'm just tired.

==

I agree with the conclusion of your shared article that people have a tendency to frame perceptiveness as "too sensitive," twisting a genuine strength into a bad thing to undermine your own critical thinking.

I also want to state somehow that I appreciate the pure good faith way you approached my original comment ha, keep doing what you're doing.

KarthNemesis, 16 days ago

keep on truckin' yourself. ^^

KarthNemesis, 22 days ago

for someone totally new?
i guess it depends on what you mean by "addicting," so i'll try to put in "potential hours" as a reference. regardless i think all of these are quite fun and consuming for me for a while.

The Binding of Isaac Rebirth.
its difficulty sort of "scales" with how well you do in your runs: if you never beat mom, the next boss, the next boss etc, it'll stay "easier" for as long as that takes. (and if it gets too hard when you start beating stuff, you can always wipe your save and start over, or start a new save, hah!)
the control scheme is extremely simple and it's fine to not be completely perfect at it if you're just going for basic runs and okay with relying more on "lucking" into victory. you really don't have to take on mega-satan or whatever.
up to you if the horror-to-horror-adjacent visuals appeal or not. you do also have to be okay with the idea of dying, it's a roguelike.
you can play this for literally thousands of hours.

Slime Rancher 1.
just a fun time shlorping up slimes. very low stakes and silly and cute. meant to be pretty accessible. if you're brand new i could see it taking up some time, and it's a good way to learn "video game logic." i've spent 80 hours in SR1, playtimes can be a bit varied.

Plants vs Zombies (the original GOTY edition, and definitely not the ad-ridden mobile port)
old 2000's popcap games in general were onboarding for many a gamer back in the day. i've spent 60 hours of it on steam, no idea how much back in the 2000's. playtimes overall can be a bit all over the map on this one.

Garden Paws,
if you like cutesy and the idea of gathering stuff for villagers, with farming / animal raising mechanics. it's slightly jank but it's very endearing. no fail condition. (it's somewhat similar to stardew valley with some differences!) this can be played almost infinitely, if you really like the loop, decorating, or have a few people to play with. playtimes tend to be 40-200 hours roughly.

Wobbledogs,
if you like the idea of raising cute pets with a genome and don't mind the very subtle horror/bizarre aspects (they can die, eat each other's bodies, and they pupate like caterpillars lol.) pretty sandbox game, and you can turn death off if you want. (or "clone" dogs you want to keep with the export/import tool in the menu.) this is a newer one for me so i've only put in 35 hours, but i fully intend to go back and try for some Huge Dogs TM. average seems about 20 hours but you can spend a lot if you like raising weirdo pets.

KarthNemesis, 26 days ago

their "hello fellow kids" energy works better for their goofy insignificant patch notes than it does for combating bad PR.

i was very on the fence about keeping it installed on a potato windows laptop i don't use for much else. this article absolutely convinced me fully not to. they could not have written a worse case for themselves if they had tried.

they have stated they even intend to try getting anticheat on macs as soon as possible. even if it is not possible, (which seems likely to me, considering the ecosystem?) their argument for axing linux could easily be used to just ditch macs. "we don't know how to secure it, and there were only 800 players [on a random, cherry picked day.]"

having a section in which they claim there are zero false positives is delusional. that's not how technology works. there will literally always be bugs, glitches, edge cases.

they claim they can currently read stuff in user mode, so it'll be essentially analogous in invasiveness, and it's straight bullshit.

this is several degrees of trust beyond "can read stuff in user mode when running"
this is "can read anything in user mode, in admin mode, on all other users on your computer, can restrict your bios and hardware, and has full potential to have permanent root access to any user or system you install in the future"

either they do not understand what they are implementing, which is a really bad sign for trusting them with it,
or they know exactly what they are doing and lying about it, which is another really bad sign for trusting them with it.

i'm gonna be honest, if they had taken the hardline "we know it's more invasive, but we need this" and kept it straight, i might have kept playing. it's the only multiplayer competitive game i have anymore.

but the ad hominem attacks in here, the calls to the "angry twitter mobs," the disingenuous and extremely loose way they play with the truth, (it's not running all the time! well, it is, but we don't really think it should count) that in just a few paragraphs has burned any goodwill i had towards them. they are weaponizing their own playerbase to cannibalize themselves and attack their friends for having legitimate concerns about degrees of personal invasion and that's unconscionable. that disgusts me more than the crappy implementation and the cavalier attitude ever could.

props to them, i guess, for making the only choice to be to quit a game i played happily for about a decade.

KarthNemesis, 1 month ago

look up number. type out entire script for the conversation. make the script encompass absolutely anything that can happen in the call. come back to it in a few days. high energy day, find the place i typed my script and the number. triple check the number. call the number, follow the script. make sure to put off any immediate plan demands during the call to minimum two weeks out.

that's my process. i only run into problems if i have to rush things. but planning my life around avoiding other peoples' rushes and emergencies works for the most part. it does require me to know extensively more about the systems i am calling than the people operating the systems to make a proper script, but the research is not typically a problem for me... it just takes time.

usually if i follow this process and cover about 90% of topics in my script i can handle one or two issues.

KarthNemesis, 1 month ago

I got diagnosed finally (after over 4 years of pursuing this) a few weeks ago, and the increase to 100mg lamotrigine this week hit hard. Felt pretty "disco elysium" saturday. Giving it time, but had to put stuff on hold again.

KarthNemesis, 1 month ago

i've been looking into lamotrigine for about 4 years, the same amount of time i've known i was almost certainly bipolar. i like knowing fully what i'm getting into. i chose this to start with this one specifically with great intention.

the intense joint pain was unexpected, it's a very rare symptom. the heat flashes, the headaches, tinnitus, the intense weirdness, moreso expected (though still interesting, it's given me various very curious intense feelings on an apparent roulette wheel.) i know enough to give it time at least, a month minimum to settle. i have hopes, people with symptoms presenting similar to mine had pretty positive results.

i don't feel "bad," exactly. just very strange. though i appreciate your well wishes.

KarthNemesis, 1 month ago

I started at 25mg 2 weeks, went to 50mg 2 weeks, now 100mg. It's faster than most people, for sure, but should be titrated enough to avoid SJS. I would not recommend starting at 100mg lmao. thanks ^^

KarthNemesis, 1 month ago

my cat didn't learn to unhook her claws until she lived with other cats and could see how they did it. was cute how much she learned from living around them for a while

KarthNemesis, 1 month ago

"get indie gaming" and nitrorad on youtube sometimes. occasional random youtubes that use games as a step to talk about psychology or societal issues.

steam recommendations. "new" section of steam. searching "necromancer" and "villain protagonist" on steam obsessively every few months.
one of my steam friends is also into weird indies so i look at the shit she wishlists.

checking out my huge itch bundles. (they do bundles of like, a hundred games at a time, and i like playing baby's first games ha.) sometimes just browsing itch, they have a lot of sick queer games and books.
checking out humble bundles.

KarthNemesis, 1 month ago

I had far more issues on windows than I ever have on mint.

When I had issues on windows, which i would run into multiple times a week, the "fixes" would be hacky, slapped-together nonsense that don't even make sense on paper. I had to change almost every program manually to run as administrator. Installing old games was a nightmare and didn't always work properly, even with compatibility modes. New drivers would break stuff. Trying to learn anything new was a rabbit hole that took countless hours and then I only learned the fix for that one specific use-case, and not anything... overarching. System updates were so intrusive, installing crap I didn't want or removed manually, I disabled them completely. It was slow and boot took forever. Ending system processes via task manager didn't always work and the system would freeze often when something went wrong. Often uninstalling programs was messy and left shit all over in the system registry and files and you would have to defrag and system clean once it started getting bloated.

When my windows install finally broke completely just trying to get shit to work the way I wanted, I bailed.

Transitioning to mint was certainly a learning experience.

Reorganizing your workflow will always be more upfront work, but I found I took to the changes fairly quickly. I found the file structure the most odd, but I became very used to it and very much prefer it over how hard it is to find stuff spread scattershot in windows files. It had a lot of little quality of life things that I really appreciate, mounting and unmounting external drives felt better, way more stuff worked out of the box, old games were not a nightmare to get working because they're had longstanding fixes for years that actually make sense. Solutions, in general, make way more sense to me, and I actually get a sense that I understand why they function. My boot time is very fast and I've never broken my system (I came close once doing something incredibly stupid and very niche, but I just timeshifted back and voila, fixed.)

Fixes or changes for preference tend to "stick" for me, like when I swapped to pipewire myself it's been very smooth sailing. I can pick and choose updates or ignore packages that don't work. There was an issue with kernels for a while that significantly increased my boot times; I just postponed that update for a few versions until one of the newer ones worked. I find I can get down similar rabbit holes to learn some stuff, but it both feels more like "lasting" solutions (and I learn more about how to do other stuff) as well as just more fun. Documentation is a lot better with users who know what they're doing instead of the guesswork "well I dunno but this might have worked for me, I tried 20 fixes so it's probably one of these!" I would run into on windows troubleshooting...

I think my favourite part of linux is a lot of things I wanted solutions to, for years, usually have at least one person out there with a similar issue that wrote a small program that just does it. Does it well. For free. I spent so much time digging for really basic stuff like a sound equalizer that wasn't garbage, bloatware, full of trackers, or ransomware! I don't have to spend hours trying to find a stinkin' RGB controller that isn't awful because the choices available are just better! I don't have to spend weeks comparing and contrasting antivirus-es and hate all of them in the end!

I find mint extremely stable and have no urge to swap nor return to windows. I find it much more stable for my use-case. I really like it, actually, and I appreciate how a lot of it is set up. Been using it daily for 4 years.

I loathed windows the entire time I used it, and had been side-eyeing linux for quite a while before committing. I don't know if I'm a "normal" use-case, probably not. Possibly it is best to take my experience as, "if you keep hitting walls often in windows that frustrate the hell out of you, linux might be a decent choice for you, and might "feel easier."" Both have their own quirks and own troubleshooting, I just prefer the ones on mint and they make more sense to me. (And take me far less time.)

KarthNemesis, 1 month ago (edited 1 month ago)

I'm not surprised, just stress alone is very bad for you, and bipolar is very stressful. :s

KarthNemesis, 1 month ago

Rain World! It has "endings" but the fact that it's sort of got a strange nature simulator / documentary vibe can kind of make it like a very difficult terrarium (that you're also living in) at times. The endings are also very much not required and can be totally ignored lmao.

I love exploring and befriending critters and just the movement system is like nothing else. Creatures living their lives totally independent from me is such a cool aspect I haven't seen done anywhere else quite on the same level. Just the emotions system of the scavs alone is so interesting to learn about! I love how it looks! I love how it taught me that failure doesn't matter and enjoying the journey can be beautiful. I love how you are at your most powerful when you are "most weak" (losing all of your, we'll call it "health" means death is completely consequence-free, and you can just experiment and scout freely and it's so fun to me.) You sort of make your own stories as you go along and I think it's neat.

Also I love bugs and insects. It's got a lot of 'em.

KarthNemesis, 2 months ago (edited 2 months ago)

Affinity absolutely does not work on linux easily, or well. Some people have gotten a barely-functioning app working in bottles, and reportedly some have gotten it "mostly" working through wine, but it is through a convoluted process that will be beyond many newer linux users and prone to errors. (And you have to dig through 100 pages of the affinity forum to try to figure it out.)

It doesn't support hardware acceleration and seems to tend to be glitchy and crash often.
Which... is still a vastly better state than the last time I checked, at least, ha. But that's been progress over the course of 4 years.

I think this page is the best bet for even trying: https://codeberg.org/Wanesty/affinity-wine-docs

It's legitimately the only thing I miss from windows. I might try again with this installer when I have the energy... sigh hahah

KarthNemesis, 1 month ago

I use listal.com

It's not exactly a game collector site and it's kind of flooded with softcore porn and creeps, but no one bothers me doing my own thing, either. I can track movies, shows, and games there and I like how it's setup, and I can make as many lists as I want. Easy for me to add stuff, too.

You can also track books there but I use other sites for that (librarything primarily, atm.)

I've thought about making my own list-software to my specifications but that's definitely a pipe dream atm. I love making lists.

KarthNemesis, 2 months ago

It was close for me between ONI and Darkest Dungeon, but I've basically "solved" DD to the point where I need 120 (I counted) constantly rotating mods to even have anything to challenge me.... I'm not sure I'd ever "finish" ONI! I feel like i've barely scratched the surface, and i've put in hundreds of hours. (I love them both, though.)

That it's cute and has so many little random thoughtful details like how the hatch eggs are as big as the hatches (ouch) definitely helps too.

Honestly, I'd be pretty sad with zero city-builders. And Rain World is non-negotiable, hahah.

KarthNemesis, 2 months ago

sorry if the Incredibly Late reply is bad, but i saw this today and these are the people in the picture if you still want to know:

double trouble (she-ra and princesses of power)
najimi osana (komi can't communicate)
crona (soul eater)
raine whispers (owl house)
a somewhat spoilery character to explain (steven universe)

i can't tell who the red jpeg'd blob in the middle is supposed to be if anybody though lol