I uh. Have no idea if this fulfills what you need, exactly, it's about a very specific facet of autism, but I've read this book and found it helpful for grounding how to navigate, self-care especially: Unmasking Autism by Devon Price
I knew a lot of the information already, having built a lot of similar systems myself, but I feel it helped me feel less completely free-floating, based entirely in my own life theory with no contemporaries. I did learn some new things, as well, especially about wider context, safety, and how the stereotypes don't serve any of us all that well.
It is... a bit of a narrow focus, I don't know that it would give much information to those who aren't high-masking, I don't know that it would do much for someone who absolutely has to mask for safety. But if you struggle with high-masking and think there are probably at least some areas one could learn to let go, it is a decent reference. (Such as the case of me, who struggles with masking even in spaces I am completely alone, and suffering greatly because I have a lot of trouble letting go of what I "should be doing," and ending up perpetuating unwitting and unwilling violence against myself. Still working on that.)
I hope this might be helpful information, even if it was not precisely what you were looking for.
Autism does not have pills.
Circumstances of your birth have no causation to autism. Neither to circumstances of your life. All sorts of people have autism from all walks of life.
A reason to research and understand one's own autism is to recognize what in your life overwhelms you, and how to structure your life in a way that is comfortable and functional to you, without a judgemental neurotypical lens. To embrace who you are, rather than try to force yourself to be something you are not.
You can seek a diagnosis if you wish, but I can't tell you if it'd give you what you're looking for.
I learned about my conditions through following various mental health communities for years and seeing what had commonalities with me through the fun lens of dank memes. I also learned a lot about medications, warning signs in therapists, and I learned what mental health conditions I don't have. Can't say if that'd work for everyone, either, but I did learn a lot more from the communities directly rather than reading the clinical book definitions.
You're phrasing this as a rebuttal when these points were an explicitly acknowledged part of my original stance. It is a bit odd.
whether calculated, or more likely, mostly not
everything is connected in this big, terrible, and vaguely randomly evolved system. i do think evolution is the best word for it. what lives, survives to propagate. it doesn't matter how healthy it is.
Both quotes from my original posting, here. If you want to point out something that I had missed, it would be more time efficient to have picked something I had missed?
I'm bemused.
Cork and fungus leather sounds absolutely sick. I hope fully plant-based leather catches on, because I haven't seen any anywhere.
From looking around, it looks like a lot of current plant stuff still tends to be mixed with polyurethane or coated with plastic 8i
(Polyurethane is, ...I don't think plastic. It's dense reading trying to figure out what exactly it is! But it seems to be mixed with plastic undisclosed sometimes? Regardless it doesn't seem great for me either...)
I'm glad that "the market" is moving further and further away from plastic as a whole in the past few years.
It sounds like there are some promising, but slow, developments in trying to make more pure plant leather.
(Would plant-leather be "planter?" "Planther?" /thonk.)
I'm allergic to polyester and most anything made of plastic. I get painful open sores, and hideously itchy. It is difficult to find clothes at best.
Plastic is snuck in more shit than you'd think. Often unlabelled. More than one pair of pants/shorts I've had to ditch/edit because the pockets were polyester or nylon in a "100% cotton" garment. Drawstrings are bad for this, too. And waistbands.
Seems to be weirdly common to be adverse to plastic-based fabrics in autistic communities.
I most often wear:
cotton/linen/canvas/denim
rayon/bamboo (plant based, do need to be a bit careful because people fake it, very loose "swishy" fabric)
hemp
real leather ("vegan leather" is literally plastic and i will fight people greenwashing calling it "vegan" and not the awful pleather it is.) (very difficult to find coats without nylon linings though.)
i'm fairly sure the point (whether calculated, or more likely, mostly not) of having politics moved there is because there is no political topic that could be discussed properly there. it makes for good, distracting noise.
it makes for a lack of meaningful critique, or for that critique to be instantly buried in bad actors. noise is a shield. noise is easily dismissable.
monetized social media, in general, is made to be clickbait, to feed negative emotions because that's what gets people addicted to outrage, it steers people towards thinking less and reacting more. nuanced discussion and thoughtful spaces are drowned out and cast aside for the loudest and most obnoxious players. this is appealing for someone trying to uphold the status quo or push society towards hate.
i don't think it's a coincidence that politicians have moved there, that spaces have become so polarized and negatively charged, and that the most prime example of both of these happenings is xwitter. everything is connected in this big, terrible, and vaguely randomly evolved system. i do think evolution is the best word for it. what lives, survives to propagate. it doesn't matter how healthy it is. the result is this blind, meandering, gargantuan worm, following the scent of blood, feeding on the worst of it all.
xwitter is easy and, notably, if you're a powerful white man, you can build your base with no accountability. it exists in this space where it's the most serious news source that almost no one takes that seriously. of course it's appealing.
i like my AMD ATI Radeon RX 5600. after I figured out it has a tiny tiny TINY hidden physical overclock switch they don't ever mention for some godforsaken reason (which is put "on" by default, also for some godforsaken reason) to turn off, it's the most stable graphics card i've ever used.
...i just recommend turning off the tiny evil hidden crash switch of doom.
amd in general is pretty chill on linux for a large portion of people.
I legit knew a repub irl that baldly admitted to thinking like this.
(Old family friend, used to be the adults' way of saying they were accepting of other political beliefs. "You can make friends/marriages across the aisle work, if you're just patient and tolerant" kind of self-aggrandizement. Cue the guy bullying his liberal wife into voting repub for years and eventually ditching her on a whim after controlling her entire life... at this point even my "tolerant" family was fed up with him and had been sticking around only to keep the wife company, and her poor kids.)
One minor example (of many) of what appeared to be hypocrisy on the surface:
Railing against the welfare system, nonstop unprompted for years, and then when he lost his job he sat on it for as long as possible before he was forced to find a job. It wasn't that he was struggling to find a job, he didn't even attempt to try until the deadline was pending. He was proud of "abusing the system."
I wouldn't even criticize him for it if he hadn't spent years talking about how people who ever used welfare were lazy and selfish. But he was the laziest and most selfish person I have ever spent any meaningful amount of time with. He's a big reason I don't tolerate entertaining republicans.
If that man had a rule he could bend or break, even if it hurt others, maybe especially if it hurt others, he would and feel no regret or remorse. He thought it was mostly amusing to torment people. His kids especially. And his dog.
He's not the only republican I've met that thinks like him. Just the most careless. Said too many quiet parts out loud.
It's not hypocrisy to him. You're absolutely right, it's just them telling on themselves as to what to expect from them if they have the space to. Any leniency in the systems exist to be abused, and too often many of them are too happy to.
I do commiserate with the feeling that communicating anything takes a lot of energy and deliberateness to get across what one would actually like to, without compromising values. It's part of why I wouldn't mind finding some autistic friends, it's been exhausting to have had this expected of me by default for so long.
I think surety in ones' own sense of self takes time and introspection like you are doing now. I used to struggle more with being afraid of not "really" being autistic, bipolar etc, but time has showed me that I was right and trusting myself when it comes to myself is the smart thing to do. It's possible you could get a sense of closure in that regard, in time, as well.
But even if you don't, taking it tongue-in-cheek and keeping introspective means you're growing, and that's always a good thing ^^
I heard some advice a while back that was along the lines of, "stop apologizing and start thanking," and I feel like it's positively impacted how I phrase things.
Instead of asking forgiveness and moving the conversation into them feeling they have to defend their values on the spot, showing gratitude for their understanding actually makes people feel more valued. "Thank you for your patience" is an entirely different vibe than "sorry I didn't get back to you" and puts much less burden on them. It shows you care about their time without making the focus about your failings and whether or not they agree they are failings.
It's subtle, but I find it's made a huge difference for me.
I also agree with others, in my experience apologies should be reserved for regret and actual feelings of penitence. It's actually a very strong value of mine nowadays, and it certainly makes me much healthier.
Just some thoughts about what I've learned about this particular situation, it's up to you how valid you think they are.