I suppose all you can do is what you can do and that’s about it
this really hit me like a punch in the stomach. I'm so limited by what I am and am not able to do, but I'm trying my fucking hardest just not to sink every day and not give up hope, but things are coming to a head now and the hope is getting smaller and smaller and however this end I don't come out unscathed, I'm already deep in PTSD land and this is pulling up so much shit from the past, and in any case there's at least one move ahead of me which in itself is a traumatic and exhausting experience even if it goes smoothly, and just liike you say, you never get the chance to deal with the trauma before more starts, and this cycle is just so fucking vicious.
I appreciate the validation, it helps to know this shit is damaging for real and I'm not just some oversensitive brat like I feel.