@RobSF@beige.party
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RobSF

@RobSF@beige.party

“From the time of their ride in the blimp, Bill and Anne were more interested in dirigibles than ever.” —The Dirigible Book Former art director at Stanford Press, now tending my garden in exile. Short stories in New England Review, Zyzzyva, American Short Fiction, Epoch, and similar whatnot.
Se falas português, especialmente de Portugal, enviar-me um DM.

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Alice, to random
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Whenever my company tells me I need to go into the office for anything, I feel like I’m LARPing.

RobSF,
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@Alice @nuncio I first discovered LARPing when the university library’s digital preservation people moved into our office and one day I heard plastic thwacking coming from the parking lot at noon. I watched, mesmerized and appalled, these two apparent grownups for ten full minutes. It took another year before I found out it was an actual subculture. This was almost 20 yrs ago now, and it planted the seed of my desire to someday move as far away as possible from this land.

RobSF, to random
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1/3 The Socialists in Portugal won a total majority a couple years ago, partly because the far right party, Chega (“Enough,” as in “enough immigrants”) sucked votes off the center right. Without getting into the weeds, I’ll just say the Socialists kind of squandered it with a scandal involving their Interior Minister.

RobSF,
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3/3 Politics is an eternal argument between people with reasonable differences, and them with fascists and demagogs.

RobSF,
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2/3 The PM resigned and there’s to be an election in mid-March, in which the new head of the Socialists is more popular than the head of the center right, though at the moment the right, overall, has a very slight advantage in the polls.

All to say, the fascists encroach everywhere, and there is no land (nor has there ever been) where “people have it all figured out,” and it’s worth looking to as an immutable example to us all.

RobSF, to random
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Thinking about getting a wingsuit. I wouldn’t fly with it or anything. Would just walk into a bar at 5 with my hair all windblown and whatnot and yell, “YES!! I’m ALIVE!”

RobSF, to random
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Just got in from the garden. I know this is a contested position, but plants are creepy as fk. Never turn your back.

RobSF, to random
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The word “short-lived,” which means something has had a short life, is properly pronounced with a long i, but I pronounce it just like everyone else, to give people a break.

RobSF, to random
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When I was 9–10, we had an LP of Bernstein conducting the Mormon Tabernacle Choir singing Christmas music (the many doctrinal and cultural incongruities of which would occur to me only many years later), and I would listen leaning against one speaker of our maple colonial 1970 stereo console, thus foregoing any stereo experience whatsoever. I just found the album online. I’m awash in nostalgia and am tempted to disconnect one speaker.

RobSF, to random
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Between December 22 and Epiphany, the men in my family have always worn cummerbunds and used our “Christmas names.” Mine is Biff.

RobSF, to random
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I tried “I didn’t have the wherewithal” on my sixth grade teacher once when asked about my homework. My erudition didn’t work then and it hasn’t worked since.

Alice, to random
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Mastodon has a drafts option? Is that what the people who DON'T immediately blurt out every.single.thought use?

RobSF,
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@Alice Everyone of my posts goes through at least six drafts, then it goes to committee, and finally the public sees the masterpiece.
.
.
.
every one, I mean

RobSF, to random
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I’ve made it to another winter solstice without getting swallowed by despair. Can hardly wait for tomorrow, when the day and the night are the same length again.

RobSF, to random
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Your doctor does NOT want you to know about this simple weight loss hack…

RobSF, to random
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How did people live in the olden days, before we had water?

the_etrain, to random
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RobSF,
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@the_etrain

It’s here! The all new 2025 Neon Tetra!

RobSF, to random
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Been here all this time and this is the first I’m hearing of , the Founder of Mastodon. So …how do I get get an audience with him and whatnot? Like, paperworkwise.

RobSF, to random
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I had no idea how wrong I’d been all these years about The Mattel Toy Corp, though! What I learned last night about gender roles, body image, racial identity, plastic . . . I tell you, that company is a force for good in the world. People really misunderstand multi-national syndicates. We need to lighten up. I can hardly wait for the Hot Wheels movie. I’m sure there’ll be a lesson about carbon fuel that a lot of us need to hear.

RobSF, to random
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Finally saw the Barbie movie last night. Nobody told me it was about dolls.

RobSF, to random
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I’ve been holding capitalist cynicism at bay since mid-October, but now it’s glühwein season, motherfuckers, so grab your mug and line up.

RobSF, to random
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Kids, the office vacancy rate in SF is 30% right now. This cafe is not a conference room. It is a gathering place for anarchists, poets, and drunks, and you are about to have a macchiato poured over your keyboards.

hey, to random
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Threads is so much full of attention screaming. It reminds me what I didn’t like on twitter.

But I’ll visit from time to time because it’s also full of shitposting that mastodon lacks of.

RobSF,
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Dame @Alice!

Thx for the mention but much more for the new leads! This is a bumper crop of procrastination aids!!

@averagehousewife @miclgael @the_etrain @JoParkerBear @StefanThinks @rephlex00 @TheBreadmonkey @Alice @chad @LRRRonEarth @RickiTarr @GrimmReality @hey @adhdeanasl

RobSF, to random
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Looking for something for a friend’s 6yo for Christmas, and I’d really like to give him one of those Ivan the Pony toy ponies we had in the 60s. Remember them, the talking ponies where you’d squeeze him and he’d go, “Ride me, cowboy, ride me hard!” or “What’s it all mean, I’m just one horse?” They came w/ a yarmulke. Or I guess it was a yarmulke. And a little diaper in case you wanted to play baby pony. I’ve been looking everywhere, Craigslist, eBay… It’s like they never existed.

the_etrain, to random
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What the fuck were these containers about?

RobSF,
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@the_etrain All I remember from that whole campaign when I was 13, 14 . . . is being troublingly obsessed with omelettes for a time. And Easter, it goes without saying.

DemocracySpot, to photography
@DemocracySpot@mstdn.social avatar

📷 My right hand.

RobSF,
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@DemocracySpot Ooh! 3D!

the_etrain, to random
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If you unplug an Alexa, it should scream.

RobSF,
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@the_etrain Preferably, “Aaaah, you’ve destroyed my wonderful wickedness! What a world, what a world!”

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