@PixysJourney@beige.party
@PixysJourney@beige.party avatar

PixysJourney

@PixysJourney@beige.party

Howdy, I'm Cynni Pixy (nicknames obviously). I've got several other accounts but they have different specific goals. Here I want to share my journey through life.

My avatar is a cartoon image of my dog, surrounded by rainbow colored hearts. She's a brown Labrador with greying snout (age 10).
My header is a picture of my Labrador resting her head on a couch side.

I try to #AltText all my images.

This profile is from a federated server and may be incomplete. Browse more on the original instance.

Tim_McTuffty, to actuallyautistic
@Tim_McTuffty@beige.party avatar

Diary of an ASD Squirrel. Day 214 , Wednesday 29/05/2024

Up a little later today as Mrs S. was working from home.

Still fighting the agoraphobia , sometimes I wish I didn’t live so very far from my family, they would come round & drag me out.
But they live nearly 100 miles away & have their own lives.

Spent the morning totally indecisive about what to do.

Made some egg sandwiches for me n Mrs S. for lunch , then , as per had to clear up & wash the dishes too.

Ended up reading for a couple of hours then hit Fo4 after lunch.

Went wild & forsook the soup option for tea, in favour of spaghetti hoops with a couple of slices of toast - I really need to break out of the house so I can get some real food !

Final Thoughts.

Stupid brain going nuts about going outside !

I need to get myself out of this current episode , it’s not as bad as some I’ve had , but it is doing my tree in!

Thank you to all those who are helping me on this journey, in a myriad different ways. I am thankful to each & every one of you! 🫂 🫶🐿️🖖

@actuallyautistic

PixysJourney,
@PixysJourney@beige.party avatar

@Tim_McTuffty
Ello sweets 😘
Sorry you're struggling with not being able to get out (and get decent stuffs). I'm even further away so I can't do anything to help, except be here to chat if you'd like...
Hopefully you had a good evening and you're having a good night!
🤗 😘

@actuallyautistic

PixysJourney,
@PixysJourney@beige.party avatar

@Tim_McTuffty
You're very welcome 🌸 🤗 🫶🏻
I also enjoy chats with you, MLS 🫶🏻
@actuallyautistic

PixysJourney, to random
@PixysJourney@beige.party avatar

Ello sweet and lovely Friendos 💜

Ugh... So. Much. Rain. ☔
Slowly getting closer to home.
Ready to ditch the moist jacket, pants and shoes.
I have an umbrella, but there's just so much rain...
Arwen just does her thing. But she won't be amused later!
She gets to wear the bathrobe... And we don't have time for the buggy walk (I would not take it out in this weather anyway...).
But as shops are closed tomorrow in Germany, mum and I will be going this morning. So that means an earlier drive to Nijmegen. 😊
But maybe the weather is better on Thursday for a buggy walk then 😉.
Ah well... Slowly walking home... Both dripping some 😉 spring weather, just lovely 😂

🧚🏼‍♀️ 🍀 💜 🐾

Tim_McTuffty, to actuallyautistic
@Tim_McTuffty@beige.party avatar

Diary of an ASD Squirrel. Day 213 , Tuesday 28/05/2024

Up at 6m as Mrs S. was back in work today.

Another day of fighting the agoraphobia & losing . The spectre of the world beyond the front door playing havoc with my mind.

Watching others sally forth, both in analog & digital life makes me realise how far I have to go to get better.

I would go to the GP, but the whole thing over the ADHD assessment has badly shaken my trust in them.
Also I am so very aware of the state of the NHS & I feel that I cannot deny other, more worthy souls their opportunity to get medical help.

So chores are done and now I roam the countryside around Boston in the virtual world of Fo4.
I was analysing my current play style & I am being so very logical about it - for no reason. I need to relax & play the game as I encounter it, instead of maximising companion potential or trying to do stuff in a set order.

Got a new stand for the iPad today , gotta get used to the new layout - it’s more comfortable if a little odd at the moment.

Final Thoughts.

Sometimes my autistic nature makes me miss communication cues. I fail to respond in the way folk expect , sometimes say things innocently that are misinterpreted because there are certain rules that I either don’t know or don’t understand.
I am kind by nature & like to see the best in people, I like to compliment folk, often the old adage ‘it’s nice to be nice’ comes into play.
Sometimes I do not recognise the unseen, unspoken edges of what is acceptable, people have blocked me before today for being too familiar too soon.This upsets me a great deal when it happens. Thankfully it has not happened since I got my diagnosis.
Now I know I am autistic I take steps to try & avoid the more obvious pit falls , but sometimes I forget or get a little over enthusiastic & folk bring me up short. Then I back away & something is lost.

I had hoped that my GP would help me find the help I need but they seem disinterested. For now I am on my own.

Thank you to all those who are helping me on this journey, in a myriad different ways. I am thankful to each & every one of you! 🫂 🫶🐿️🖖

@actuallyautistic

PixysJourney,
@PixysJourney@beige.party avatar

@Tim_McTuffty
Ello sweets!
🤗 We all have good, bad and OK days. It's just how things go I guess...
Try to get the help you may need. You're not stealing it from anyone, as they can also still make their appointment. And you not making one will open op just one time slot, so it's not like no one can come before it after you that day 😉 I know the feeling but if you do struggle, your need for help is just as valid as the need from others. And I guess we'll always have doctors that will disappoint us, especially is people that have a different view on our needs than most professionals have (if that makes sense). If you think you could use help, you do! No one thinks "I think I need help" when they don't need it....
Just my two cents on this. But I totally understand as I also don't like the GP and I have trust issues with docs as well, after so many things doing wrong...
Have a good day sweets, take it one day at a time. And enjoy FO4 in anyway you'd like. It's your game, after all... 😉
🤗 😘 Luv from the silly Pixy and wet kisses from the sweetest brown-haired gall 🐾 💜

@actuallyautistic

PixysJourney,
@PixysJourney@beige.party avatar

@Tim_McTuffty
You're very welcome 🌸 hope it helps. It's just my experience and vision... But if sharing that can help, I gladly do so. 🫂
@actuallyautistic

PixysJourney, to random
@PixysJourney@beige.party avatar

Good morning sweet and lovely Friendos 💜

It's been a good morning so far. Some rain in the beginning, but since the gym, it's been dry.
We had a good SniffBook walkies 🐾 and now we're enjoying the buggy walk.
I finished my journal blog post for today. I worked on some other posts.
Tried to get the rent payment added to my bank app so I don't forget to pay in time (first time for the house needs to be done a few days in advance). But my app was limited, ugh, so now I have to wait a while and then try again...
So first buggy walk. Then some food. Getting some groceries after that. And then, try the bank app again... Ugh...

Hope you're having a good day ☀ 🌸 🌈

📸 May 28 2024

🧚🏼‍♀️ 🍀 💜 🐾

Tim_McTuffty, to actuallyautistic
@Tim_McTuffty@beige.party avatar

Diary of an ASD Squirrel. Day 212 , Monday 27/05/2024

Up really early today (05:30) which is ironic because it’s a public holiday & I should have had a lie in.
Hey ho.

Bit of banter on Mastodon - congrats to @dgar for a very respectable 3rd place in btw !

Binge watched ‘Traces’ series 2 - not a bad series !

Final Thoughts.

I was in quite a dark place this morning & wrote a whole thing on things that triggered me, but I’ve mellowed out during the day.
The upshot of this is that I have gone from epically insightful final thoughts to this ! 🙄🤦‍♂️ 😆

Thank you to all those who are helping me on this journey, in a myriad different ways. I am thankful to each & every one of you! 🫂 🫶🐿️🖖

@actuallyautistic

PixysJourney,
@PixysJourney@beige.party avatar

@Tim_McTuffty
Good night master Skwerl 😘 hope you're having a good one! 😁
Hope the writing helped you feel better. And I hope the bins didn't eat you 😉 (so that missus Skwerl won't put you to the street 😉).
Sweet dreams and hopefully I can catch you again in the morning! 🤗 😘

@dgar @actuallyautistic

PixysJourney,
@PixysJourney@beige.party avatar

@Tim_McTuffty
Owww and congrats Dgar! I haven't seen the results yet as I've been busy yesterday and then I was exhausted. But a third place out of over 70 entries, that's amazeballs! 😁

@dgar @actuallyautistic

PixysJourney,
@PixysJourney@beige.party avatar

@dgar
You're very welcome 🥇 well done! 💪🏼

@actuallyautistic @Tim_McTuffty

PixysJourney,
@PixysJourney@beige.party avatar

@Tim_McTuffty
Haha you're welcome 😉
And gladly! 🌸

@dgar @actuallyautistic

Tim_McTuffty, to actuallyautistic
@Tim_McTuffty@beige.party avatar

Diary of an ASD Squirrel. Day 211 , Sunday 26/05/2024

A quiet Sunday, some slightly weird chats on Masto but otherwise not a bad day.

Binged ‘Responders’ series 2 .

Final Thoughts.

Nope nothing, nada , nowt.

Thank you to all those who are helping me on this journey, in a myriad different ways. I am thankful to each & every one of you! 🫂 🫶🐿️🖖

@actuallyautistic

PixysJourney,
@PixysJourney@beige.party avatar

@Tim_McTuffty
Sounds like a relaxing day, master Skwerl 😘
Hope you have a good night!
A new week is about to spring in you, best be ready for it 😉 🤗

@actuallyautistic

Tim_McTuffty, to actuallyautistic
@Tim_McTuffty@beige.party avatar

Diary of an ASD Squirrel. Day 210 , Saturday 25/05/2024

Up earlier than I wanted, Pavlovian response kicked in 🙄🤦‍♂️

Went for a walk this morning , the British summer was on its best behaviour & did me proud !

I saw the shadow of a butterfly, not the wee beastie itself, which inspired my muse to spout a little poem.

Tried to sit down for my lunch, first the sky went seriously dark so we had to get out & get the washing in , then the door bell went & the Postie wanted to leave a parcel with us for a neighbour. Then 3 minutes later he was back as the neighbour had appeared at their door !
For Nuggan’s nuts will I ever get this sarnie eaten!
Lunch was finally finished & followed by a lovely coffee 😊

Hovered up then watched ‘Traces’ with Mrs S.

Finished off the evening with some ‘B’ movie.

Final Thoughts.

I don’t write poetry often - but sometimes the urge takes me & I scribble a little nonsense.

Thank you to all those who are helping me on this journey, in a myriad different ways. I am thankful to each & every one of you! 🫂 🫶🐿️🖖

@actuallyautistic

PixysJourney,
@PixysJourney@beige.party avatar

@Tim_McTuffty
Yay for walkies... You know how I feel about good walkies... 😊
And writing can be so relieving when you've been dealing with loads of thoughts and feels.... So hopefully it helps you feel better!

Yay for the food finally being had 😂...

Have a good night sweets 😘

@actuallyautistic

18+ Tim_McTuffty, to actuallyautistic
@Tim_McTuffty@beige.party avatar

Diary of an ASD Squirrel. Day 209 , Friday 24/05/2024

Up slightly later today as herself was not in the office.

Usual palaver , I make breakfast she makes her snack, I clean up after her.

I was all up for breaking out past my agoraphobia, but once again triggers were pressed & so here I am stuck inside.

I did venture into the back garden to sort out the kitchen compost tub.

Apparently I’m having a chip butty for me tea, I wanted a simple pizza (ham n mushroom ) but her masters voice has spoken & a chip butty it is.

Sometimes I wish I was more vocal, but I hate arguments & I always cave, or on the rare occasions I hold my own I get guilted into feeling that I’m in the wrong.

How do we like our roast squirrel, rare or well done ?

Final Thoughts.

Hey ho - the joys of married life.

Thank you to all those who are helping me on this journey, in a myriad different ways. I am thankful to each & every one of you! 🫂 🫶🐿️🖖

@actuallyautistic

PixysJourney,
@PixysJourney@beige.party avatar

@Tim_McTuffty
Sorry you've been triggered sweets.
While I "miss" being with someone (it has pros and cons), I do enjoy the freedom I have. But having no one at my side can also feel lonely and scary at times... 😔 Guess we need to be very lucky to have it all...
Hope you're having a good night sweets 🤗 😘

@actuallyautistic

Tim_McTuffty, to actuallyautistic
@Tim_McTuffty@beige.party avatar

Diary of an ASD Squirrel. Day 208 , Thursday 23/05/2024

A quiet day, recovery from Squirrel Pox continues apace.
Eating is now easier & my stomach is merely uncomfortable rather that outright rebellious!

Final Thoughts.

I try so hard to be inclusive, I try to police my boosts , I try to include alt-txts . Sometimes it seems I fail.
I hate failing.

Thank you to all those who are helping me on this journey, in a myriad different ways. I am thankful to each & every one of you! 🫂 🫶🐿️🖖

@actuallyautistic

PixysJourney,
@PixysJourney@beige.party avatar

@Tim_McTuffty
Glad you're feeling a bit better again master Skwerl!
Don't try too hard... I've been there and I still struggle at times as well.
But I've learned that by "just" being, by "just" being kind and honest, you can be this amazing person. We can't please everyone, but if we please ourselves with our decency, it's a good place to start. 😊
Have a good night sweets 😘

@actuallyautistic

PixysJourney,
@PixysJourney@beige.party avatar

@Tim_McTuffty
You're very welcome 🌸 and that's all you can do my lovely friend 💜
@actuallyautistic

Tim_McTuffty, to actuallyautistic
@Tim_McTuffty@beige.party avatar

Diary of an ASD Squirrel. Day 207 , Wednesday 22/05/2024

Up early as Mrs S. was in the office today.

Felt a lot better today , eating almost normally , just feeling somewhat knackered still.

There’s a calm, peacefulness when I’m on my own, especially at the moment.

After yesterday’s epic ‘War n Peace’ entry there is not much to add today.

Final Thoughts.

I’m hoping that full digestive services will be restored!

Thank you to all those who are helping me on this journey, in a myriad different ways. I am thankful to each & every one of you! 🫂 🫶🐿️🖖

@actuallyautistic

PixysJourney,
@PixysJourney@beige.party avatar

@Tim_McTuffty
🤗 Glad you're feeling a bit better. And yeah, the moments we're on our own can be quite good as we can be ourselves all the way then... 😊
Have a good night sweets 😘

@actuallyautistic

PixysJourney, to actuallyautistic
@PixysJourney@beige.party avatar

Question to fellow folks... :confusedparrot:

For what sort of toots could I use hashtags like or the previous two I just used?

I Toot quite a bit about me and my quirky way life. But I never really know if I "should" add any ND hashtags as the "silly" things I Toot about are quite normal to me. If that makes sense 🤔...

I'm proud enough, these days, of who I am. But I wonder if and when it would be good to add some of these tags... Maybe it could help connect with other peeps like me 😇.

Fankoos 🫶🏻 for your help! 🌸

@actuallyautistic

:boosts_ok_gay:

PixysJourney,
@PixysJourney@beige.party avatar

@pathfinder
Fankoos 🫶🏻
I'm just worried in a way that people may feel I don't use the tags correct and maybe end up blocking me because of that.

I'd like to tag my journal and daily things posts with the tags, but I was in doubt if they'd be "good enough" to be tagged... 🤔

I know, I worry about the most silly things! 😂 But after being told so often that I did things wrong, I'd like to know "the rules" now so I can apply them as I should. If that makes sense 🤔

Thanks 🌸 again!

@actuallyautistic

PixysJourney,
@PixysJourney@beige.party avatar

@jacquiharper
:ablobcatnod: all the way! 👍🏻

@pathfinder @actuallyautistic

PixysJourney,
@PixysJourney@beige.party avatar

@pathfinder
Fankoos 🫶🏻 again! 🤗

I guess I can't ever please everyone 😉 but indeed, it's what "we do", we like the rules so we know what to expect and what is expected of us.

I'll experiment a bit with upcoming toots, let's see how it will play out...

Thank you 🌸

@actuallyautistic

PixysJourney, to Pixelfed
@PixysJourney@beige.party avatar

Ello sweet and lovely Friendos 💜

Alright I uploaded my pictures to just now!
I'll share the links here, there are two posts, one for upstairs and one for downstairs.
Dad sent me some pics as well, so I may upload some of those as well. And I made two quick videos but I need to make them smaller to fit on this server. 😊 I'm working on it!
But I had a restless night so am a bit slow this morning.... 🥱

https://pixelfed.social/p/PixysSnaps/696119350196152763

https://pixelfed.social/p/PixysSnaps/696120936900005029

Vids coming ASAP!!

Hope it gives a good impression of the house. I didn't get any pictures from the outside and we didn't stay too long. It was so busy (I felt very anxious with so many people, even though they'll be my new neighbors, time enough to meet them later on) and it was very warm (28°C) and I was also tired... So my parents and I walked around, took pics and the vids I'll share soon, and we headed home again before traffic would be bad...
Time enough in a few months to take make pictures when it's done and when I'll be working on it... Alone and with friends! 😁

Edit: I'll make this a pinned thread 🧵 for all things to do with the move from now on. 😊

PixysJourney,
@PixysJourney@beige.party avatar

Alright Friendos 💜

I have some small updates. 😊 The truck 🚚 rental has been arranged! It was a stressful situation... But it's been arranged. So that's a plus!

The floor data have been arranged as well. Unfortunately, they could not place the floors earlier as I hoped... They will measure on Tuesday the 2nd, the floors will be delivered on the 9th and they'll lay them on the 11/12th. So they should be done before we move my things on the 13/14th. Just doesn't leave much room for preparations... Bummer...

So it seems it's slowly working out, thanks to the help of some lovely friends! Ugh... So stressful to arrange all this. I was glad my friend had joined me or I would definitely had a meltdown there and then 🫣 my autistic bits did not handle it all too well...

But... It should be settled now... Fingers crossed 🤞🏻 it will work out!

To be continued...

🧚🏼‍♀️ 🍀 💜 🐾

PixysJourney,
@PixysJourney@beige.party avatar

Heeeeey lovely Friendos 💜

So yesterday I had a phone call from my rental coop. (big eeeek but I survived)

There will be a initial viewing of the apartment on June 5th between 9-10:30. They'll check the apartment (in it's messy state 😂 I did warn her haha) so they can inform me on what needs to be done. And I can tell them what I'll have to offer to the new renters (for free, I'll just be happy if I can leave it behind).

On July 31st between 9-10 they'll check again as I hand over my keys... The end of 6 years in my apartment...

In between there could be some viewings of new possible renters. We discussed that a coop person would be present for my peace of mind. And they'll come after the big move, so I have some time to clear out most of the apartment. It's no use to anybody to see it now as it's so messy and full of boxes. Which the coop lady understood.

I even will get a coupon from the coop because I notified them two months in advance of the end of the renal... I needed some money for a nice new basket for Arwen, sooooo if that coupon comes soon, I'll need less money to get Arwen the new basket so... That was a big plus! 😁

Slowly, things are moving forward. Well, not that slowly though...

I'll keep you all updated! Thanls for joining me in my scary journey! 🤗

🧚🏼‍♀️ 🍀 💜 🐾

PixysJourney,
@PixysJourney@beige.party avatar

Ello sweet and lovely Friendos 💜

So on Friday I was able to get two things arranged for the upcoming move! I got the insurance settled! Yay! Tried the WhatsApp chat and it worked!
Then I tried the WhatsApp chat with my internet provider. This person explained things to me and they helped me to end my sub on 15/7. I'll be at the new house then, as my stuff will have been moved, so I won't need fiber at the old place anymore.
No news yet on when the fiber will be available at the new house. I did ask the building coop lady about it and she informed with the responsible person. They didn't have the dates yet, they'd get back to the lady in max two weeks and when she knows, she'll let me know. So wait and see...
When the house is finally "connected" I'll be able to check which providers are available and choose the one that suits me best. (speed and price wise).

I tried to tell the new municipality I was gonna move but nope, it's indeed a max of 4 weeks in advance! So... I'll have to wait till June 3rd before I can handle my upcoming move there. Hopefully it will be time enough for them to settle everything with my taxes. And... I hope they'll be fast as I need to adjust my rent allowance to the new amount as well. But I can only do that once the move is officially processed by the government. So yeah... I'll get the allowance for sure, but the faster the better as it's quite an increase in costs! I now pay €525 and it will be €650. So yeah, every bit they can support me extra will be very helpful.

I keep checking the postal app 😂. I want that coupon to come to my place so I can order Arwen's new bed... I think she will like it loads, or at least I hope so, so I'm very eager to get it. (I used to be this eager when it was for me, but now it's for my dog who hasn't got any clue and I'm excited for her instead 😂).

Ah well, slowwwwly I'm getting everything settled. I hope... I'm checking my list, writing everything down that I've done so far. Hopefully all will go well enough and in about 50 days or so, I can be a little less stressed... I hope.

Thanks for following my journey folks! It's nice to have you at my side, supporting my steps towards a new part of my journey...

🧚🏼‍♀️ 🍀 💜 🐾

PixysJourney,
@PixysJourney@beige.party avatar

Ello sweeties!

"Still" 😉 no snail mail haha. But I'll share a picture of the bed I wanna get Arwen ASAP...
So snail, make some speed 😂

It's a more expensive bed. But thanks to the coupon I can get it for her... And she's definitely worth it...

And should she cross the 🌈 bridge... I'm sure the next furry love can use it as well...

🧚🏼‍♀️ 🍀 💜 🐾

PixysJourney,
@PixysJourney@beige.party avatar

Ello sweeties!

I ordered the new bed for Arwen! 😁 It should arrive somewhere between 8-22 on Thursday 😂 a very wide window for now... Hopefully they'll update so I know when I need to be up and about and all to receive the big parcel. It's an XXL bed after all! (but then she has space and her friend Bas can join as well when he visits).

I also put in the transfers for the rent. I had to make some minor changes in the bank app and now it will automatically pay the new rent a week in advance of the key date. So it should be in the coop's account before that, as their rules state... I put it in to do it automatically, as I know my brain and otherwise I'd keep thinking about it...

Like I do with the municipality transfer. Four weeks ahead, so if all is well, I can enter my new details next Monday. So of course I'm reminding myself several times a day of that 😂

Hey ho! Slowly things are coming together. I saw the paint I need is on discount this week, so maybe I can grab myself a bucket today (depending on the time of delivery for Arwen's bed). It's a decent discount so it would be good to get the paint in advance then...

Thanks for following my journey! It's an exciting and scary one, so I'm glad to have you with me!

🧚🏼‍♀️ 🍀 💜 🐾

PixysJourney,
@PixysJourney@beige.party avatar

Ello sweet and lovely Friendos 💜

Another two small steps in this journey have been taken. 😊
I got Arwen's new bed and it's awesome. 🥰 Now Arwen needs to learn to love it, I guess...

And I got the purple paint for the big wall in the living room and the back wall in the bedroom. 😊 It's the same color as I have in the living room now and I just love it...
Now I only need some white paint... But even with 40% discount, the color still was quite expensive. So June will be when I get the big bucket of white. 😊

Step by step...

🧚🏼‍♀️ 🍀 💜 🐾

Arwen's new bed is being made, with a plaid, pillow and plushie Dachshund.
Arwen in hetlr new bed. She felt a bit uncomfortable.
Do I have to humom? Arwen's new bed is beautiful, but she'll need to get used to it I guess.

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