Medical Staff Report OJ Took One Last Instinctual Swipe at Blonde Nurse Before Passing (thehardtimes.net)
Jealous Florida Senate Hurriedly Passes Bill Allowing Teachers to Pistol Whip Tardy Students (thehardtimes.net)
Journalist Who Dreamed of Writing from the Front Lines Willing to Settle for Summarizing SNL Skits for HuffPost (thehardtimes.net)
Dad at WrestleMania Spends Three Hours Commenting on Poor Table Craftsmanship (thehardtimes.net)
Hockey Arena DJ Waiting for Perfect Moment to Play “Welcome to the Jungle” (thehardtimes.net)
read more: thehardtimes.net/…/hockey-arena-dj-waiting-for-pe…
Aw Crap: I Thought I Said Something Normal but My Therapist Responded “Let’s Unpack That” (thehardtimes.net)
read more: thehardtimes.net/…/aw-crap-i-thought-i-said-somet…
Nation Once Again Agrees That Easter Candy Made of Exact Same Ingredients as Regular Candy Tastes Better Due to Shape (thehardtimes.net)
Ben Shapiro Claims Palestinian Children Keep Dying on Purpose to Get out of Debating Him About Definition of Genocide (thehardtimes.net)
Family Bible Passed Down for Five Generations Hasn't Been Read in Five Generations (thehardtimes.net)
The Top 20 Things to Fear When Your Uber Driver Is Playing "The Joe Rogan Experience" (thehardtimes.net)
'Hundreds Relieved of Existence Following Spirited Mishap at Gaza Food Truck' Writes New York Times Editor About War Crime (thehardtimes.net)
Gov. Abbott Enlists Texas National Guard to Shoot at Wildfires (thehardtimes.net)
Conservative Think Tank Spends $40 Million Trying to Frame Girl Scout Cookies as Woke (thehardtimes.net)
House of Pain Finally Apologizes for Role “Jump Around” Played in “Mrs. Doubtfire” Divorce (thehardtimes.net)
The Top 10 Punk Sub-Genres We're Pretty Sure Spotify Invented to Screw With Us (thehardtimes.net)
read more: thehardtimes.net/…/the-top-10-punk-sub-genres-wer…
Alabama Supreme Court Set to Decide Constitutionality of Pulling Out (thehardtimes.net)
America Combines Most Popular Sport With Most Popular Tragedy (thehardtimes.net)
2024 Puppy Bowl To Open With Ill-Conceived Firework Show (thehardtimes.net)
Right Wingers Idolizing Churchill Horrified to Learn He Had Long Standing Beef With Hitler (thehardtimes.net)
Old Man Who Doesn’t Like Rap Song Somehow on Right Side of History (thehardtimes.net)
LOS ANGELES — Legendary metal musician, and noted septuagenarian, Ozzy Osbourne broke new ground when he became the first old white man to complain about a rap song and actually be on the right side of history....