What happened to "You're welcome!" as a response to "Thank You"? It's not even included in the canned answers on an apple watch. Have we as a society abandoned it?
I saw a post a while back that said millennials use “no problem” instead of “you’re welcome” because no problem signifies the act was of little effort and was no problem to do. However, “you’re welcome” implies entitlement, as in you are welcomed to my time and effort, or some shit. I don’t remember, but yeah, just a “generational thing.”
So yeah it’s a “can I speak to your manager” boomer thing, as usual. Only group I ever see getting their panties in a wad over a phrase. Just like “Merry Christmas” changing to “Happy Holidays” erases their religion or dares to put other similar holidays, in the same approximate time of the year on equal footing, making their religious holiday less significant.
Here’s a response I’ve seen about this around the net for a while now that feels right.
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"Actually, the “you’re welcome/no problem” issue is simply a linguistics misunderstanding. Older ppl tend to say “you’re welcome,” younger ppl tend to say “no problem.” This is because for older people the act of helping or assisting someone is seen as a task that is not expected of them, but is them doing extra, so it’s them saying, ‘I accept your thanks because I know I deserve it.”
“No problem, however, is used because younger people feel not only that helping or assisting someone is a given and expected but also that it should be stressed that your need for help was no burden to them (even if it was).”
“Basically, older people think help is a gift you give, younger people think help is a requirement.”
To be fair, with no data to back it up, this is just an anecdote. So saying it’s stereotyping ageist bullshit is a perfectly valid response to it. I just felt it fit the question quite well so I went and dug it up and shared it. If you feel differently, no stress!
The reality is going to be different to everyone, and it’s as much a learned behaviour as anything else. It’s not like collectively an entire generation got together and decided “it’s ‘no problem’ now instead of ‘you’re welcome’, okay?” Language evolves over time after all, and knowing why that happens and the actual causes for it are something that will require a lot more analysis than a couple of anecdotes from the internet.
calling it a “linguistics misunderstanding” makes it seem more scientific than it probably is. I’d like to see some evidence to back it up, because to me it just looks like some Tumblr user’s conjecture.
Languages change over time. As long as the intent is clear, don't get hung up on what is and isn't "correct". "You're welcome" probably was seen as extreme at some point itself.
Giving permission by saying yes to a “would you mind” question is the hill I die on. Usually I say “I would not mind” but if I’m feeling frisky I’ll say no and watch their brain melt.
I mean, I’m fully on board with not getting hung up on what’s “correct”, but these are words that do have a specific meaning and I do find it interesting that the preferred choice of words shifts (even if it is only caused by relatively few people, that actually think about their word choice there).
Specifically, “no problem” is kind of like saying “there’s nothing to thank me for”. And ultimately, it kind of says “I don’t expect something in return”.
Whereas “you’re welcome” acknowledges that yes, I did help you, you are right to thank me for that, and also kind of “I would appreciate you returning the favor”.
My personal theory is that the change in language happens, because we have a lot more contacts with strangers, either in big/foreign cities or online.
When you help a stranger, you know upfront that they won’t be able to return the favor, simply because you won’t stay in contact. So, not only should it definitely not be a personal sacrifice for you to help them, it also feels right to communicate that they don’t owe you anything, so that they can go on in their life.
I don’t disagree with your interpretation of “you’re welcome”. At the end of the day, it is still a phrase which sort of weakens a “thanks”, out of politeness.
I’m saying that there’s a difference between “you deserved that thing already” and “there was nothing I did, which anyone would need to be deservent of”.
And “de nada” is actually a bad example here. Yes, the dictionary will tell you that it’s a valid translation for “you’re welcome”, but the actual words translate verbatim to “of nothing”, as in “you’re thanking me for nothing”. So, “de nada” is very much like “no problem” in Spanish.
I kind of disagree with you, in that when I think about the standalone meanings of the words in each phrase, I think they do say the same thing.
The meaning of the words “You are welcome [to the help I gave you]” implies, to me, that there wasn’t actually anything to offer thanks over. You’re acknowledging their thanks, but telling them that they are welcome to take/use whatever it is you’re talking about. [EDIT: normally when someone tells me I’m welcome to something, I feel less compelled to ask and thank in the future. “You’re welcome to anything in the fridge”, for example.]
It does not imply, to me, that I would appreciate them returning the favour. That might be implied meaning in the phrase, but it’s definitely not what those words mean by themselves.
In any case, “You’re welcome”, “no problem”, “no worries”, etc… are all idioms that mean something different than what their individual words mean. The phrases as a whole carry a different meaning than the words themselves suggest.
It depends on how I feel. 90% of the time I don’t want sone one to feel obligated so no problem is my response. When its truely a favor I am helping with its your welcome. When i would have done it for my own sake I want to say “my pleasure” but mostly say “of course!”.
You’re welcome comes off as passive aggressive. I was forced for years to say you’re welcome when I never really meant it, but when I say no problem or no worries I actually mean it so I still use you’re welcome but I might as well be saying go fuck yourself
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