I hate all this extrovert VS introvert stuff, one side seen as vapid, gibbering apes and the other seen as loner shut-ins. It’s exhausting, especially since most people don’t fall squarely into one camp or the other.
There’s plenty of introverted people who love to talk and go out with people, they just need some time between outings to wind down and gear up and to know there’s someone around that will share their interests. Likewise, there are shy extroverts who thrive more in online spaces where they can easily manage their interactions with others and have time to think about their responses. In either case, being an asshole is not part of it.
Yeah I’m a shy extrovert. It took me a long time to learn that because until my mid 20s I felt like I was intruding by existing in public spaces. I still have to remind myself that I’m completely allowed to go to things open to the public and that the organizers/proprietors actually prefer I do.
My wife is an introvert. I welcome her to attend most things I go to, but I understand she’s got the energy to go to maybe half of it. That’s ok, and she actually appreciates my extroversion.
I honestly don’t even hear anyone complaining about introverts. All I hear is socially anxious people or misanthropes complaining about other people talking, and confusing that with introversion.
The only meaningful use of the introvert/extrovert dichotomy in my experience is just that extroverts charge their batteries in social situations, introverts drain their batteries and need time to recharge. Knowing this is useful, but says absolutely nothing about social or conversational skills, charm, interests, etc - even if it might be easier to develop social strategies if you are extroverted. But there’s certainly a lot of charmless extroverts around as well.
The only meaningful use of the introvert/extrovert dichotomy in my experience is just that extroverts charge their batteries in social situations,
It makes a bit more sense than the original reinterpretation but in the original Jungian sense, the dichotomy is very simple and also precise: Whether a function (some hardware in your mind) concerns itself with subjective (introverted) or objective (extraverted) data, whether it looks at the inside or outside. And yes it’s extra, not extro.
The actual difference between people with dominant introverted vs. extraverted function is experience-then-learn vs. learn-then-experience. To draw a caricature: You won’t get an extravert to calculate a ball’s velocity before they’ve kicked it, and you won’t get an introvert to kick a ball before they’ve calculated what will happen. Likewise, plenty of extraverts out there all alone, climbing a mountain or something, and introverts at busy chess tournaments: It’s not about sociability.
Other psychologists then took the terms and tacked them onto their own theories, which is where the popular drive-centric understanding is coming from. In particular from Eysenk I think.
It’s also interesting to note that even though introversion and extroversion is often seen as “one gains energy by being alone, the other gains energy by socializing,” it’s actually more complicated than that. It’s got more to do with how your brain processes pleasure and reward. I’m not gonna pretend to fully understand, I’m not a professional, only repeating what they’ve told me, but there’s a lot of times extroverts are actually more drained by social interaction because they’re more mentally present in it than introverts are. As a result of that misunderstanding, a lot of people who are actually extroverts think that they’re introverts.
Personally, I consider myself an extrovert, but things like drama and people being rude are so draining on me that when it happens I often need to immediately remove myself from the situation to recharge, and then I usually don’t end up coming back until at least the next day.
Why wouldn’t you want everyone around you to be at least moderately comfortable? Is it really that hard to just shut up and let someone be for a few minutes? I don’t mind socializing but sometimes I just wanna wander off on my own for a few minutes to recharge. Is that really so much to ask? Then people take it personally when I politely ask them to give me a few minutes as if I’m being rude.
Extrovert here.
People do. Constantly. It’s a normal thing. If you’re hanging out with people who refuse to shut up and let you be comfortable for a while the problem isn’t that they’re extroverts. The problem is that they’re assholes. Unfortunately the two can look similar on account of assholes having less boundaries making them appear to be more extroverted when in reality they’re just less respectful.
I just came in here to say that the 2000s version of Pingu sucked ass and they could have found someone better than whoever they did to do Pingu’s voice properly.
I was being facetious, however how one would spell something in what isn’t their language can be difficult. Look at /r/boneappletea for examples.
Once you showed me a better way of describing the sound it makes instant sense. Even though by thinking about it I can almost hear the sound, it’s rather hard finding the correct way to describe it in English (which isn’t my native language)
Interesting. English isn’t my native language either, but I do speak and write at a native level due to a few factors, so that might be the difference.
Different people require and prefer different amounts and types of socializing. It’s harmful and presumptuous to force your own needs and preferences on other people.
I actually had another adult clap her hands in front of my face, to interrupt me, after asking me a question, because she wanted to interject something she had supposedly forgotten to say to me. Being an introvert, I immediately stopped talking, and waited for her to provide an explanation for clapping in my face. I guess extroverts just have a different way of communicating than I do.
I don’t. I generally dislike eating out or going to movies or events alone. I’m also generally very introverted but I happen to dislike going out and doing stuff by myself.
One big part is that I can chat if I eat with someone but if I eat by myself I’m understimulated. And if I already sit there and look at my smartphone while eating I can as well just pick up something from the bakery around the corner and eat it while looking at my computer screen.
I remember during Covid lock downs extroverts were loosing their minds and blaming their extrovertism for their cabin fever.
First of all, true isolation is unhealthy and crazy inducing for everyone, that’s why they still use solitary confinement in prisons for further punishment, so no, extroverts, you’re not special for feeling depressed during a global pandemic. (but yes, it did suck extra for them)
But so many extroverts seemed to assume lock downs were an introverts wet dream. There was very little attempt to understand each other. I’d see introverts empathising with extroverts who were struggling, but the reverse rarely happened, extroverts just seemed to assume “you introverts must be loving this solitude” and when myself and others tried to open up about how we were struggling I would hear “yeah but you like being alone, you’re used to it” like that makes it easier.
At no point did I really see any of the extroverts I know, or anyone online posting about how “wow, being pushed this far out of my comfort zone by lockdowns sucks, is this how introverts feel when I force them to actively engage in crowded, highly social parties?”
Not that I expect the middle of a planet wide plague to be the time I’d suddenly expect people to show self reflection and emotional maturity, but it was still worth the observation.
I liked the lockdown. It was nice not to need to find excuses not to come to any social gatherings and the mask mandates made it so I didnt have to smell anyone the few times I had to go out
I mean… Of course everyone feels different, but I personally didn’t mind the lockdown at all because of those exact reasons. Yes, I like being home, I like being alone, and while I also like going out and seeing friends from time to time, knowing that they also can’t go out took the FOMO away that often motivates me to participate in social activities.
I honestly did not notice a big change in my lifestyle or emotional state during the lockdown, while some extrovert friends spiralled pretty hard.
But once again, those feelings are different for everyone. I just don’t like generalising. My extroverted friends are also very respectful and give me space when I need it or ask for it, so acting like extroverts are just assholes with no regard for their friends makes me think some of you need better friends.
Nah. Definitely an introvert. The persecution complex on this thread is hilarious though so I’m poking the bees nest some. Y’all talking about being an introvert like being a black person in the American deep south in the 40s lmao
I feel this so much. My boss talks nonstop from the minute he walks in the door until the end of the day and then asks me why I’m so quiet. At least I have headphones or I’d go crazy.
It drove my coworkers up the wall to hear that my wife, kids, and I were totally cool with being locked down together. And I had been working from home for years before the pandemic. I think they chafed at being locked down and the notion of anyone being okay with it was unfathomable to them.
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