UraniumBlazer,

Butt plug maybe?

NeptuneOrbit,

She’s not practicing her chess. She should eat a wheel of brie everyday

intensely_human,

Stick a pawn up your butt in a foreign country and become a queen? I’m not sure how chess comes into this?

Anafabula,
@Anafabula@discuss.tchncs.de avatar
jaykay,
@jaykay@lemmy.zip avatar

And then do a Mexican Lawnmower

franklin,
@franklin@lemmy.world avatar
Plibbert,

Jesus fucking Christ. Hesitated on my coffee after seeing this lol.

Rai,

As an experienced butt plug enjoyer, the plug will shoot out if you have enough stuff trying to exit your body. And if you have even SOME poo that really needs to come out, it will be SUPREMELY uncomfortable.

derpgon,

Also takes up some of that real estate.

jaykay,
@jaykay@lemmy.zip avatar

But it’s free

_sideffect,

Don’t eat anything

expatriado,

starting 2-3 days ahead

jeena, (edited )
@jeena@jemmy.jeena.net avatar

lemmy.world/post/616615 there are great tips in that thread, I think you can find a way.

cyborganism,

The OG Lemmy meme.

someguy3,

3 days is one thing, 8 days is impossible, (unless you don’t eat anything.)

bionicjoey,

Honestly, over 8 days, I feel like even if you only drank some kind of liquid nutrients, your body would still filter out enough solids that you’d have something moving through your colon

intensely_human,

Well sure, if what you’re drinking is “liquid nutrients” then it’s not much of a fast though.

EnderMB,

I have a newborn that hasn’t had a shit for 5 days. According to our doctor, anything under 10 days is “normal”.

So to answer the question…breastmilk?

Crackhappy,
@Crackhappy@lemmy.world avatar

Delicious, nutritious, shitless

threelonmusketeers,

My dad once said, “if breast milk is the perfect food, babies shouldn’t have to poop”.

jeena,
@jeena@jemmy.jeena.net avatar

I did a 7 days water fast and as far as I remember I only pooped on the second day or something.

tube.jeena.net/w/hSpSWFhcCMwVUtBq1CdZJQ

Confused_Emus,

And on the seventh day, God dropped a holy deuce and rested.

mcqtom,

Just “hold it in” on the second floor of the hotel. The conference floor.

aeronmelon,

Maintain a state of intense terror the entire time.

HootinNHollerin,

Pending anal apocalypse

GoddessOfGouda,

Just use the lobby bathrooms at the hotel. If he loves you he’ll understand and be thankful.

Source: have done this myself

MissJinx,
@MissJinx@lemmy.world avatar

No. If I have to hide my poop he doesn’t really love me

jballs,
@jballs@sh.itjust.works avatar

Y’all ladies need to read Everybody Poops if you think you need to sneak off to lobby bathrooms.

scrion,

That’s the way.

GBU_28,

This is the strat

Norgoroth,
@Norgoroth@lemmy.world avatar

This is the best option. Go “ask for an extra towel”. "

henfredemars,

That happened to me once. I required stitches afterwards.

SlopppyEngineer,

0_o

Jubei_K_08,

I mean, why not let him get a full whiff of that bouquet? Sober him before you go any further.

some_guy,

I wouldn’t recommend fiber.

IndiBrony,
@IndiBrony@lemmy.world avatar

From experience: Army ration packs certainly help 👍

LaunchesKayaks,
@LaunchesKayaks@lemmy.world avatar

What nostalgia this brings lmao. The not pooping for 3 days meme is just as iconic as the influx of beans posts.

orangeNgreen,
@orangeNgreen@lemmy.world avatar

Yeah, my hope was that more people would get the reference when I posted this.

flambonkscious,

We’re here, bud.

You done good work

TrickDacy,

What a bizarre way to live, pretending you don’t shit

dependencyinjection,

Pretty sure it’s a joke

Kusimulkku,

You sweet summer child

Dasus,

Might be, but it’s also very much doable.

When I went to confirmation camp, it was on an island with no water toilets, only outhouses. Some of my peers just wouldn’t use them for shitting, as they had never had to be without a “regular” toilet.

When there was a visiting day like a week after the start of the camp, I think someone had felt too nauseous and given in. I know this because I was assigned to empty the outhouse barrels. Which some mischievous visitors (older siblings who had gone through the camp themselves a year or couple before) had filled up to the brim with a hose, so all the shit was in liquid.

When we emptied them I saw a shit log the size of my forearm. All veiny and shit. Wouldn’t be out of place in the South Park episode about massive poos.

So idk man, I think it’s a joke but also, people do do that. (“Doo-doo”, hehehe.)

NikkiDimes,

When I’m traveling, my digestive system just shuts down. I went on a trip recently and I didn’t shit for a week. That first shit looked as you described and nearly tore my asshole open. At least the toilet had a bidet.

Dasus,

I think there’s definitely something to that. I don’t really have a problem shitting anywhere, but it’s still crazy sometimes how much my need to excrete accelerates the closer to home I get. Like coming home from a store and you’re not really even feeling the need, but then in the hallway, suddenly, you do, intensely.

Etterra,

I think chubbyemu covered a case where this was done and almost killed the person.

psycho_driver,

It does kill people. I had a friend die from not shitting for like 16 days and when they went to do the surgery to remove the compacted shit he died. Pretty ignoble way to go.

Timecircleline,

I’m sorry for your loss. Are there any memories you’d like to share other than the reason for their passing? I know if I lost someone I loved like that I’d want to share the important things about them, while I also understand wanting to share the potential dangers that people might not be considering from interrupting bodily functions.

psycho_driver,

Well, he was a former boss. He was very cool as far as bosses went. Tried to hit on one of my co-workers all the time and then I ended up marrying her and he was happy for us and came to the wedding. He also wrote my letter of recommendation to go into management for that company. He left that job several years later and went back to truck driving. I think the bad diet and wonky schedule led to the medical condition.

Timecircleline,

Thank you for sharing. It sounds like he was overall a decent man, who had a fair share of impact on your life. I’m sorry again for that loss.

Sam_Bass,

Lots and lots of cheese

SlopppyEngineer,

That’s the opposite if you’re even just a little bit lactose intolerant

Sam_Bass,

Then hit a couple dulcolax a couple days before leaving to empty your guts out and refrain from filling them back up til you get where youre going

Elocomanzo,

Poopourry on Amazon. It helps.

HootinNHollerin, (edited )

Matches too, way cheaper

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