tweedge, 
Internet of Dongs (gah I love them) also got their hands on the "Reddit said this vibrator has malware" vibrator this weekend, pulled it apart, and confirmed it doesn't have malware: https://internetofdon.gs/bad-vibes-or-why-you-shouldnt-trust-everything-you-read-on-reddit/
While my thread ~2 days ago was much less detailed I'm glad that I arrived at the same conclusion ^_^