lritter, 
"full stack developer"
- suggests a clear vertically ordered structure
- implies completeness
- sounds like you're improving things and in control
- dignified job description
"turducken wrestler"
- suggests an unholy nesting of things that have no business containing each other
- truly conveys your exasperation
- makes clear how overwhelmed you are
- aptly describes the ongoing shitshow you're co-enabling
