FatsGordo

FatsGordo, 12 days ago to random

I heard they're letting us eat cake now

FatsGordo, 1 month ago to random

If I was in a war I'd agree to a ceasefire so fast. I fucking hate working. I hate doing my job

FatsGordo, 1 month ago to random

Ideal hiking encounter would be man riding a bear

FatsGordo, 1 month ago to random

What's a polite, non-racist way to tell everyone I'm not interested in diss tracks?

FatsGordo, 1 month ago to random

Happy May 4th! May your dick get sucked 4 times 🖖

FatsGordo, 1 month ago to random

Ok, so I looked it up on my phone, and, according to Google, one of us probably should dive on the hand grenade that landed in the bunker

FatsGordo, 1 month ago to random

Does anyone else weirdly feel like you have to dress up to go to the bank? Like, some insane fear that if you look too disheveled the teller won't give you any money when you pull out your gun?

FatsGordo, 2 months ago to random

Marching outside the ice cream shop with a sign that says "no ice cream before dinner" on one side and "you'll ruin you're appetite" on the other

FatsGordo, 2 months ago to random

People are really getting into the spirit of April Fool's Day this year. My neighbor just hit me with his car

FatsGordo, 2 months ago to random

If I ever got shot, I would simply eat one of the many rotisserie chickens I keep on my person to restore me to full health

FatsGordo, 2 months ago to random

looking at products I wonder if Vagisil could sil my dick. I wonder if my dick needs silling...

FatsGordo, 3 months ago to random

Liberals all love body positivity until they see your BBV (Big Beautiful Vehicle)

FatsGordo, 3 months ago to random

How did people survive before the internet? Right now, I can Google "boobs" and get like a hundred results. Back in the day I had to hang out at the library and ask people if they knew what boobs were

FatsGordo, 3 months ago to random

showing my kids Star Trek This is the world we're trying to build. This is why you need to keep your grades up

FatsGordo, 3 months ago to random

Wife won't let me set up the living room like a gorilla enclosure

FatsGordo, 4 months ago to random

I like Kermit the Frog and Miss Piggy's dynamic. I like how they have sex with each other

FatsGordo, 4 months ago to random

I listen to a lot of old school music. Head Shoulders Knees and Toes, Row Row Row your boat, that sort of thing

FatsGordo, 4 months ago to random

Am I still allowed to enjoy Disney's Aladdin in this post-9/11 world?

FatsGordo, 5 months ago to random

Finally, my cousin Willie can finally buy a steamboat without Disney getting litigious

FatsGordo, 5 months ago to random

Eating a whole bottle of vitamins to cram before my doctor's appointment

FatsGordo, 5 months ago to random

Searching my own name on the Epstein list just in case

FatsGordo, 5 months ago to random

If I hit like on a post, that means I did a spit-take when I read it. If I boost a post, that means I started hooting and dancing around the room while slapping my bum with my phone

FatsGordo, 5 months ago to random

I hope all of my followers have a merry little Christmas, or a holly jolly Christmas if they follow the orthodox tradition

FatsGordo, 5 months ago to random

to the guy at the urinal next to me wanna see why they call me the king of piss?

FatsGordo, 5 months ago to random

John Mastodon put me in charge of doing the fedi's "naughty or nice" list, and, I gotta say, this place could be a bit naughtier