@HornedLivestock@mastodon.scot
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HornedLivestock

@HornedLivestock@mastodon.scot

Wonky-headed contrarian who has been deposited at the supposed end of history to watch the overly prolonged but hilarious death throes of hyper-capitalism. I can be best described using meaningless epithets. If I do stuff, which is unlikely, it will involve words, or noise, or squiggles, some combination of such, or absolutely nothing other than pointless babble.

Fairly useless letters after my name in sociolinguistics and education.

Chronic pain.
Chronic pain in the arse.
Absurdist.
Arsehole.

This profile is from a federated server and may be incomplete. Browse more on the original instance.

HornedLivestock, to random
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Ahh, the great Labour bullshit about what it can do for Scotland begins. Only Labour can bring these jobs to Scotland. Of course, for as long as is important, Scotland has been an energy exporter. These jobs are not to provide power for Scotland per se, but London.

Frankly, Scotland could nationalise it's energy market, give free energy to its citizens, and still probably profit on exports to the South.

This is literally a nothingburger.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cgrre16k21no

HornedLivestock, to random
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Boards Of Canada
1969

https://youtu.be/-6th_CqdjXc

HornedLivestock, to random
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Spontaneous synchronization.

https://youtu.be/5v5eBf2KwF8

HornedLivestock, to random
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"National service could help tackle loneliness - Ross"

Does anyone know where Douglas Ross gets the supply of pure stupidity that he is so evidently snorting?

Apparently, we are playing the random statement game.
My turn -

"Fellating doorknobs could be a cure for toxoplasmosis".

"Grit baths could increase sexual potency by 150%"

"Tory spin doctors could be announcing any old shit that might appeal to their geriatric base".

HornedLivestock, to random
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With an Octobuddy, you, too, can add to the sea of microplastics, by sticking your phone to other people's possession for the sake of your vanity and a modicum of clout.

Get in the fucking sea, humanity.

https://www.elle.com/fashion/shopping/a60826526/octobuddy-phone-tripod-viral-trend-explained/?utm_source=pocket-newtab-en-gb

HornedLivestock, to random
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I am a fair bit irritated by way too many news outlets and their insistence, either directly or by talking head, on framing the water issues in England and associated regulation as being a "UK" problem.

Gonna say it loud for the thickos:

THIS IS AN ENGLAND AND WALES PROBLEM. OFWAT DOESN'T REGULATE IN SCOTLAND. SCOTTISH WATER ISN'T A PRIVATE COMPANY.

Maybe try and stop shitting in the sea, then drinking it.

HornedLivestock, to random
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The Young Ones, series one, episode 3, Boring.

Original airdate: 9pm 23 Nov 1982

Headline in the (faked) Guardian:

"US tells Israel carnage must end."

The carnage at that time was the Sabra and Shatila massacre, in Beirut, Lebanon.

Deaths: 700 to 3,500 (number disputed)

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sabra_and_Shatila_massacre

HornedLivestock, to random
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And now I think that Rubber Bandits are engaged in illegal forestry.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-tyne-69011665

HornedLivestock, to random
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This BBC story on spotting misinformation is some demented bullshit.

Let me just state, that for those of us who have done both corpora and line by line analyses of stories in "legitimate" news media, many of those would fail the sift.

"A source close to x said..."
"We are hearing reports of..."
and so on.

Often, those lexical constructs may eventually clarify the sources, and we find that it is a P.R. company pushing some political, business, or charitable agenda.

https://www.bbc.com/future/article/20240509-the-sift-strategy-a-four-step-method-for-spotting-misinformation

HornedLivestock, to random
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This is not a news story:

No victim named.
No information about the surgeon involved.
No information about the company providing the service.
No information of the location the purported surgery took place, other than "a hotel".
Stock image.

The sole source seems to be Ruairi Kelly.

Vague, vague, vague.

https://www.thenational.scot/news/24316914.woman-hospital-brazilian-butt-lift-glasgow-hotel/

HornedLivestock, to random
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This reboot of Love Story is a bit shit. Now with added coprophilia.

HornedLivestock, to random
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But remember, because "we" can find no direct evidence that U.S. or U.K. weapons were used in atrocities like this, then it is totally fine to keep providing Israel with arms.

That was the line from Cameron and the U.S. State Dept. today.

https://thehill.com/policy/international/4652018-reports-mount-of-mass-graves-at-gaza-hospitals-some-without-heads/

HornedLivestock, to random
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"du, du, du, another one bites the dust".

We wish Sergei Shoigu well with his upcoming car accident/mysterious illness/fall from a great height.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-69000698

HornedLivestock, to random
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There is a person in that giant dog costume, and we have no idea where they are being rubbed.

Image of Barkley, an oversized, puppet of an orange and white dog being vigorously rubbed.

HornedLivestock, to random
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I am reminded of the things my grandfather may have seen lurking in those murky waters, though, the diving bell barge was before his time.

https://mastodon.scot/@thisismyglasgow/112383488147273872

HornedLivestock, to random
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The role of a university is to turn out the managerial classes, the "entrepreneurs", the bankers, lawyers, and politicians which will continue to promulgate the status quo, while ordering the serfdom.

"Never can our kids query that!"

I would contend that "outside agitators" is a means to save face from the university, while potentially threatening the students with expulsion.

Recant and remain, while the university will promulgate that it was not the student body leading the protests.

HornedLivestock, to random
@HornedLivestock@mastodon.scot avatar

"But Hebrew is lovely, and Israel is lovely, and everybody who doesn't think so is an antisemite, and the university protesters are pro Hamas, and everything that doesn't agree with me is Hamas, and Hebrew is lovely".

Block.
Block domain.

HornedLivestock, to random
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"You've got chaos in the Scottish parliament, you've got chaos in the Westminster parliament"

And what Starmer failed to say is, we've had total chaos in the Labour party since Miliband failed to successfully chomp down a bacon butty.

Starmer is a shitehawk, rummaging in bins for the merest morsel to sustain him.

https://www.belfasttelegraph.co.uk/video-news/snp-is-in-absolute-chaos-as-yousaf-resigns-sir-keir-starmer/a335447753.html

HornedLivestock, to random
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This satire irritates me. While Hannibal Lecter committed numerous egregious acts, it should be remembered that until being pursued by law enforcement, he was a psychotherapist who was committed to his patient's mental health and a valuable member of the community. His own black beast was merely his intolerance for rudeness.

That, for me, makes him eminently more relatable and likeable than any Tory. He would've gladly prepared Rees-Mogg as an entrée.

Eat the rude.

https://mastodon.online/@newsthump/112325260698785834

HornedLivestock, to random
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We thank Keir Starmer for his Sterling work assisting Scottish and Welsh nationalism.

HornedLivestock, to random
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"Labour is now the true party of English patriotism".

Labour, formerly the U.K. iteration of the socialist movement, is not only now not part of the global workers' movement, but it is the true representative of parochial, English nationalism. There is no separation between patriotism and nationalism in this sense, and either definition here nullifies any notions of "pan-national" workers' movements.

That statement is a proud affirmation of insular, Conservative politics, but in red.

HornedLivestock, to random
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"Liz Truss thought ‘why me, why now?’ after Queen’s death, new memoir reveals."

Because everything that existed and everything that ceased to have exist, all the matter in the universe and the obscured dark matter, the fullnessness of the space time continuum, including every conceivable and inconceivable dimension knew you to be entirely gormless and decided to have a laugh.

The universe is still laughing.

HornedLivestock, to random
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Yes, libraries are a vital part of the community.

HornedLivestock, to random
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I am not making any music at the moment, but I have decided that this will be my controller of choice.

https://www.8bitdo.com/arcade-stick/

HornedLivestock, to random
@HornedLivestock@mastodon.scot avatar

If this is the case, then I need a guide to tell me how to calculate my age in geological terms, because I have regularly had more than two nights of broken sleep.

Two nights of broken sleep can make people feel years older, finds study | Science | The Guardian
https://www.theguardian.com/science/2024/mar/27/two-nights-of-broken-sleep-can-make-people-feel-years-older-finds-study

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