robertelectricity

robertelectricity, 11 days ago to random

Did you guys see the northern lights in my asshole? (Link in bio.)

robertelectricity, 12 days ago to random

Customer service representatives really need to cool it with over-the-top reactions to mundane activities. “Thank you so much for providing your email address!” Relax, guy. I don’t even want to be part of this.

robertelectricity, 22 days ago to random

According to a news story, vinyl record sales are higher than CD sales. Why? The only way vinyl could be less convenient is if you carried them around in your asshole.

robertelectricity, 26 days ago to random

My wife and I are so hifalutin, we use fancy napkins at every home meal.

robertelectricity, 26 days ago to random

She had those "anime fan service" titties and that really made my Friday.

robertelectricity, 27 days ago to random

I still call the internet “cyberspace.”

robertelectricity, 29 days ago to random

How good can cryptocurrency be if I need other currency to get it?

robertelectricity, 1 month ago to random

It’s the day after the rapture and none of my friends have texted me back for a few days. Either they were raptured, or they’re busy, or they hate me. Possibly all three. 🤔

robertelectricity, 1 month ago to random

If you're walking slowly and you're not Jewish, that is cultural appropriation of schlepping.

robertelectricity, 3 months ago to random

If you have faith in humanity, then you probably have never lived in an apartment complex.

robertelectricity, 3 months ago to random

Maybe the next time I am caught behind a slow-moving group of people blocking the hallway at work, I will shout "Gotta poop!" and see if that fixes the problem.

robertelectricity, 3 months ago to random

My wife and I had sex on Monday night as if we didn't have anything better to do.

robertelectricity, 3 months ago to random

Nutella has never tasted quite right.

robertelectricity, 4 months ago to random

Most likely I will die doing what I love: complaining.

robertelectricity, 4 months ago to random

The year is 2055. Everyone speaks using mostly verbal crutches. Peanut M&M’s have been declared health food by the FDA, but not regular M&M’s.

robertelectricity, 4 months ago to random

The Simpsons has been on the air for so long that Harry Shearer’s Mister Burns voice is just his regular voice now.

robertelectricity, 4 months ago to random

My account really should be way more popular than it is. Clearly the chaotic universe and my lack of good posts are conspiring against me.

robertelectricity, 4 months ago to random

These are my emotional support pizza and chicken wings.

robertelectricity, 5 months ago to random

We should try not putting stupid people in charge of important things.

robertelectricity, 5 months ago to random

I like using a dark theme on my phone and tablet, but I think I am done using a dark theme on my desktop computers. It feels disjointed in that context.

robertelectricity, 6 months ago to random

We lost headphone connectors on smartphones and gained people who don’t realize their Bluetooth headset isn't on.

robertelectricity, 6 months ago to random

Death and farts surround us.

robertelectricity, 6 months ago to random

I have not had caffeine in five days. I can smell colors now.