@actuallyautistic
Do you have any activities that distract you from everyday life and that don't cause new stress?
My wife told me yesterday she thinks I should do more stuff to relax, get a free mind etc. In fact I do have many interests, but it turns out that they become stressful too.
Eg. going fishing is quite relaxing. But it needs paperwork, preparation, and can become target of optimization.
Or gaming is relaxing, but some games with many options and hidden things can become work too.
@Dr_Obvious Carefully selected games (I like Cloud Gardens which is a cozy flower growing game, and Minecraft, where I keep to low stress areas and activities).
Also wearing headphones with music and walking the house, cleaning and tidying whatever is looking at me, not thinking about priorities and 'I should really be doing N instead'.
@Dr_Obvious@actuallyautistic I used to have the mindset of thinking that I have to do certain hobbies even when I don’t feel like, such as playing and finishing a game.
I realized that I should just go with my mood’s natural rhythm. If I have the urge to learn about a topic or play a simple game, I just do it. If I don’t feel like doing anything at all, I just relax or go for a walk.
@Dr_Obvious@actuallyautistic Reading sometimes works for me, as does cooking. The latter requires preparation including shopping, though, which can be stressful, so I tend to put that off and thus don't enjoy cooking as often as I would like.
The one thing that really clears my head is re-watching my favorite shows. I am aphantasic, so videos/visuals don't clutter my mind at all. I enjoy catching new phrases and background action/sets in shows I've seen many times.
@Dr_Obvious@actuallyautistic@VeeRat Jigsaw puzzles come pretty close. Cheap, distracting for hours and hours, but I know I’ll be able to solve them eventually.
@actuallyautistic@Dr_Obvious I have been playing the same game (The Binding of Isaac) for so long now (over 6000 hours) that it is like playing solitaire or something, where it is just different enough each time to stay interesting, but also just the same enough each time that it’s relaxing and familiar.
I also like games line Power Wash Simulator which are very repetitive.
I have also been transcribing my great-grandfather’s diaries. That is soothing because he’s mostly writing about how many eggs they got that day and the weather. And it’s repetitive but also a task that requires focus.
I guess that is the commonality for me: repetitive tasks that are a little different each time, but in general there are no surprises.
@Dr_Obvious@actuallyautistic I've found meditation immensely helpful since I've developed a practice. Not in a wellness sense (although I see benefits like that) but in an exploration of self and consciousness. It's fascinating.
I'm happy to give you a free month to the Waking Up app to test it out, if you're interested. It has a good introductory course that focuses more on awareness of non-duality than simple relaxation.
@Dr_Obvious@actuallyautistic Jumping in here too, at least to see what people come up with! I just hopped on to my virtual escape special interest and already I'm stressing out what I should do, what should I do that will provide most benefit to our little virtual world...
@Dr_Obvious@actuallyautistic More like running a virtual railway with a group of other people, like actually running the trains, paper work, the whole nine yards.
@Jobob@actuallyautistic
And how do you come along with that? I have the feeling for most people stress is something external. When they have a day of or vacation and so on they are relaxing and enjoying themself. But I have the feeling for me it's like internal, my personality. Which is frustrating.
@Dr_Obvious@actuallyautistic I tend to have serious and non-serious hobbies on the go at any given time. Just now art is a serious hobby and guitar is not serious. If I have the headspace I do art, if not, I play familiar songs on the guitar. I also play video games or read etc.
This changes over time, of course, and it's not completely foolproof.
@Jobob@actuallyautistic
That's the same for me. It's like a rotational system. And in principle it's fine, but I can't often control the frequency. I guess it's more an ADHD thing. And things like reading and gaming are more satisfying if an instance is actually finished.
I have a huge steam library and other games. But the ammount of games I actually finished is ashamingly and frustratingly small.
@Jobob@actuallyautistic
My recent achievement was that I finished a 700 page book I read on and off for the last eight years. Luckily I could remember most of the story so I only started over once after some years.
@Dr_Obvious@actuallyautistic if it helps any, your hobbies are supposed to serve you. You don't need to finish games, or read books against the clock. If dipping in and out over years or stopping after a point are what works for you that's totally fine.
I rarely complete games either, although before my current one (Diablo 4) I was playing Animal Crossing, which doesn't really have an end.
@Jobob@actuallyautistic
Yes, I try to tell this too myself. At one point I started to do mor multiplayer and casual indie games. I nearly finished Witcher 3. There is only one adfon left and I guess I will finish it in the end :).
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