@Jobob@mastodon.me.uk
@Jobob@mastodon.me.uk avatar

Jobob

@Jobob@mastodon.me.uk

Jobob_80 on twitter. I'm a data scientist and physicist with an interest in art.
This is all about my personal views not those of my employer.

This profile is from a federated server and may be incomplete. Browse more on the original instance.

secretmousealias, to actuallyautistic
@secretmousealias@mastodon.social avatar

@actuallyautistic

A situation I run into frequently when trying to make small talk is this:

Me: So what are your interests?
Them: Gaming
Me: Cool, me too. What games?
Them: Call of Duty, what about you?
Me: Dwarf Fortress
Them: Never heard of it. What's type of game is it?

At this point I'm basically deadlocked because explaining the game would take longer than their attention span. I feel I probably made a mistake earlier which led to this situation. How to do better?

Jobob,
@Jobob@mastodon.me.uk avatar

@Dr_Obvious @secretmousealias @actuallyautistic I think there are two options from here that would work. There's the short summary ("oh it's an RPG on mobile, it's got really smooth gameplay that makes it really addictive" - note I made this up, I don't actually know the game!), or there's the changing the topic back to the other person ("Actually I was thinking of trying that, what's it like?")
Best tactic depends on whether you feel like talking or listening.

lifewithtrees, to actuallyadhd
@lifewithtrees@mstdn.social avatar

“What do you want to do 5 years from now?”

🤔

😬

🤯

I am having a difficult time visioning 5 years from now, what I want to do and then how to get there.

Some of this is due to the chaos of the last few years, but I also think it could be a challenge due to #AuDHD

Also I am 42 so midlife stuff?

That all said, how do you vision 5 years from now?

@actuallyadhd @actuallyautistic

Jobob,
@Jobob@mastodon.me.uk avatar

@lifewithtrees @actuallyadhd @actuallyautistic yeah, I just kinda rephrase it in my head to "what do you want to achieve in the near to mid term". It doesn't make it easier, exactly, but at least I'm not distracted by the suggestion that there should be some sort of plan complete with timeline...

Claydisarray, to Autism
@Claydisarray@socel.net avatar

My recent diagnosis is explaining a lot for me.

For instance, I've always been super confused why a waiter appears to crack a tiny amount of black pepper from an enormous pepper mill.

It's hardly a precious spice and why can't I just do it myself?? :blobawkward:

@actuallyautistic

Jobob,
@Jobob@mastodon.me.uk avatar

@Claydisarray @actuallyautistic well /now/ I'm wondering... 😂

BZBrainz, to Autism
@BZBrainz@mastodonbooks.net avatar

@actuallyautistic

Tweet shared to the FB group Feral Neurodivergent Raging Meme Posting and now here with you. I’ve been down and this was the first thing that made me laugh today. I hope it makes you laugh too.

Jobob,
@Jobob@mastodon.me.uk avatar

@BZBrainz @actuallyautistic actual lol.

stevesilberman, to random
@stevesilberman@newsie.social avatar

Well, this totally made my day. Thank you Neil, and best wishes to everyone who reads "NeuroTribes" seeking to understand certain family members, friends, and co-workers better.

Jobob,
@Jobob@mastodon.me.uk avatar

@Dr_Obvious @stevesilberman @actuallyautistic Neil Gaiman can do comedy (he did Good Omens), but it's not his usual approach. He is more about where the fantastic impinges on the everyday, and often fairly dark. But he knows how to tell a compelling story...

Jobob,
@Jobob@mastodon.me.uk avatar

@Dr_Obvious @stevesilberman @actuallyautistic I guess it depends what you like. Sandman is the comic series (he's done others but that's the one he's known for, although I do also recommend 1602) and it's excellent and very accessible. In terms of novels for adults, maybe American Gods or Ocean at the End of the Lane. Stardust might be better if you prefer high fantasy to dark fantasy.

Jobob,
@Jobob@mastodon.me.uk avatar

@Dr_Obvious @stevesilberman @actuallyautistic Stardust might work, it's not satire like Discworld but it does have its ridiculous moments. There's a film version too.
Unlike Pratchett there isn't really a seminal Neil Gaiman corpus, except maybe Sandman.

Jobob,
@Jobob@mastodon.me.uk avatar

@ginsterbusch @Dr_Obvious @stevesilberman @actuallyautistic he did. And would that he still had...

hosford42, to actuallyautistic
@hosford42@techhub.social avatar

Requirements to put in a job description to discourage or filter out autistic people:

  • Comfortable with ambiguity
  • Strong people skills
  • Good culture fit
  • Multitasking
  • A fast-paced dynamic environment
  • Bachelor's degree or better

I see these things and think you don't want my >30 years of programming and machine learning experience, or my problem-solving skills and comprehensive knowledge that had people mistaking me for one of the team's PhDs, or my solutions that have proven patent-worthy. Your loss.


@actuallyautistic
@neurodivergence

Jobob,
@Jobob@mastodon.me.uk avatar

@russellmcormond @nddev @actuallyautistic @neurodivergence yes, I had to think about it and I live in the UK. I believe the reference is to Irish Republicans and their terrorism campaign.

Jobob,
@Jobob@mastodon.me.uk avatar

@russellmcormond @nddev @actuallyautistic @neurodivergence well yes, but we're not claiming Irish Republicanism is /idealogically/ terrorism. It was the way they actually bombed the UK that did it. Car bombings, bomb threats and targeting of hotels and so on were actually fairly common here during the campaign.
The Scottish independence movement has rather carefully stayed away from those tactics and is fairly mainstream in Scottish politics at present.

Jobob, to actuallyautistic
@Jobob@mastodon.me.uk avatar

Hey @actuallyautistic. I'm having a stressful time at work. It's currently unresolved and likely to be hanging over me for a bit. It's also mightily unfair, which means I'm low-level furious all the time.
Generally I'm good at the usual coping mechanisms - taking breaks, drinking and eating regularly, making time for hobbies and exercise, spending time with family. But this is hard and I'm finding none of that is making much of a dent.
Any suggestions? What helps you when you need to cope?

Jobob,
@Jobob@mastodon.me.uk avatar

@olistan @actuallyautistic good call, and would definitely work. Just wish we had an economy that would allow that!

Jobob, to actuallyautistic
@Jobob@mastodon.me.uk avatar

So, a question for undiagnosed late realised @actuallyautistic folks.
Your work makes a change and it saves them money but plays actual havoc with all of your traits that you're still learning to recognise as autistic. You tell them about the impact it has on you and they completely dismiss your complaint, saying its fine for most people.
If there was a diagnosis it'd basically be indirect discrimination. But there isn't, and no prospect of one any time soon.
What do you do?

Jobob,
@Jobob@mastodon.me.uk avatar

@stina_marie @actuallyautistic there are many reasons I don't think corporate America would suit me, fortunately we have a bit more protection here in Europe.

Jobob,
@Jobob@mastodon.me.uk avatar

@DziadekMick @actuallyautistic that's interesting. To be clear, needing a diagnosis was my assumption rather than any assertion by my employer. Still finding it hard to see myself as autistic or disabled... Maybe at least in part because if people are reasonable it's almost manageable.

Jobob,
@Jobob@mastodon.me.uk avatar

@masukomi @actuallyautistic heh, the analogy that came to my mind was food allergies, same idea.

Jobob,
@Jobob@mastodon.me.uk avatar

@DziadekMick @actuallyautistic if they were being reasonable there wouldn't be a problem. It's a very small org with no HR, minimal line manager training and no internal legal team, and they're trying to save themselves money. I am not sure leadership have had any reason to be aware of the equality act up to now.

Jobob,
@Jobob@mastodon.me.uk avatar

@nddev @actuallyautistic ahh, that's another good suggestion.
I wish we did have an HR department, but we don't, so whatever happens it's me vs management...

Jobob,
@Jobob@mastodon.me.uk avatar

@nddev @actuallyautistic yes, but they do at least tend to take the view that a) turnover is bad, and b) we don't want to get sued. Which I could leverage, if that was an option, I think.
It is a very, um, unusual organisation.

Jobob,
@Jobob@mastodon.me.uk avatar

@nddev @actuallyautistic aye, well. As soon as I can find someone to carry this mortgage for me...

Jobob,
@Jobob@mastodon.me.uk avatar

@masukomi @actuallyautistic I know 😊 I'm currently adjusting to my new varifocals and it's no fun. Which is maybe why pushing that particular analogy doesn't appeal to me - I'd be seriously lost without my glasses.

Jobob,
@Jobob@mastodon.me.uk avatar

@irenes @masukomi @actuallyautistic I think there are very few spaces in the world where accommodations are needed but there's no intentional discrimination. Sadly.

Uair, to actuallyautistic
@Uair@autistics.life avatar

@actuallyautistic

On how little sleep can you function?

I was sick and caught up on my rest friday, still ill but walking around saturday, and yesterday was freaking awesome. I didn't have to struggle to focus, surging rage and despair didn't fuck with me. Time flew.

I got my usual 4 or 5 hours saturday night and last night, and i noticed by this morning that i was back to the man who needs to stifle himself. I bit somebody's head off unjustly because they triggered my shit.

Jobob,
@Jobob@mastodon.me.uk avatar

@Uair @actuallyautistic when I had my youngest I made it a hard line that I got a nap if I got less than 6 hours, so that seems to be my limit. I can muddle through as long as it's more than that but I suspect I would actually thrive with slightly more than 8 hours. It's hard to tell as I'm a bit of a night owl but with kids at school and a 9-5.

Dr_Obvious, to actuallyautistic German
@Dr_Obvious@chaos.social avatar

My probably @actuallyautistic son has a thing that is frustrating and heartbreaking.

Whenever something exciting is upcoming he is really happy and looking forward to it. But if it's really near, he refuses to do it and a barrier arrises that stresses him.

Like he really likes firefighters and today the kindergarten had plans to go for a visit for the local station. He was so excited talking about this, but today he didn't want to go to kindergarten at all with tears in his eyes.

Jobob,
@Jobob@mastodon.me.uk avatar

@Dr_Obvious @actuallyautistic oh what a shame. It sounds like he's built up the visit into such an enormous thing he can no longer handle it. Have you tried something like "it only has to be fun" or talking about it as something he can be interested in or curious about rather than excited by?
Another tactic that might work at that age is giving him something small to focus on - "can you find out what colour the firefighters' hats are for me?"
Feel free to ignore any advice that won't suit, ofc.

18+ vger, to actuallyautistic
@vger@social.daemonlair.org avatar

@actuallyautistic To all the readers: I am starting to dive into the symptoms of being autistic and find myself in many of them (not all, but probably a majority).

My major concern, that I might acutally not be autistic, is that I've found out that I was probably traumatized in a 4-week-long so called "child-rehab" where I was away from my family. I was 6 years old at that time

1/2

Jobob,
@Jobob@mastodon.me.uk avatar

@vger @Tooden @petelittle1970 @actuallyautistic so I'm no expert but from the research I've done it looks to me like it's common for a diagnosis of autism to be rejected by some professionals if they think there's another potential reason for the "symptoms".
It doesn't change the truth that you can absolutely have both, but it's worth knowing or looking into it you take this towards a formal diagnosis.

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