@undefined_variable@mementomori.social
@undefined_variable@mementomori.social avatar

undefined_variable

@undefined_variable@mementomori.social

Has boots with pink laces and a semicolon tattoo
Volunteering in peer support

AuDHD/anxiety/bipolar

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EVDHmn, to actuallyautistic
@EVDHmn@ecoevo.social avatar

#actuallyautistic
@actuallyautistic
I had this very odd conjecture thought to my self.

In a sense could there be no such thing as Neurotypical?

As everyone is Neurodiverse.🙄

People are just trying to pretend to do social norms as kids.

People get to adult age, they forget they are pretending.
Get to living
As they get older they don’t care about pretending as much.

Unless they are fundamental pretenders, which are advocates for social norms and traditions.

Perhaps?

undefined_variable,
@undefined_variable@mementomori.social avatar

@EVDHmn @actuallyautistic I've always found the term "within normal limits" amusing. I would say people who are "within normal limits" could be said to be neurotypical, that is, falling within the typical representation of our species, neurostatistically speaking.

thor, (edited ) to random
@thor@berserker.town avatar

Being Norwegian is to have zero suave. You just sort of have to do shit without any decoration.

undefined_variable,
@undefined_variable@mementomori.social avatar

@thor Try being a Finn living in Norway... :blobcatcoffee:

undefined_variable,
@undefined_variable@mementomori.social avatar

@thor It's a double-nowhammy! Absolute zero suave!

undefined_variable,
@undefined_variable@mementomori.social avatar

@thor To be honest, not familiar with her at all, I left the seven mountains a long back now.

undefined_variable,
@undefined_variable@mementomori.social avatar

@thor The Egentliga Finland even, so Finland-squared.

undefined_variable,
@undefined_variable@mementomori.social avatar

@thor I wish... No, I'm in the Finnish version of Bergen, they're even friends with each other.

undefined_variable,
@undefined_variable@mementomori.social avatar

@thor Yeah, Finns always have to be the really odd one out. Must be the language why they don't speak to even each other. I live in Turku/Åbo, which is on the west coast, used to be the capitol, burned down, and has a feud with the rest of the country. Though, I myself consider myself a Savonian. Skogfinnene are my people who wandered to Norway way back when.

undefined_variable,
@undefined_variable@mementomori.social avatar

@thor Yes they do. And Swedish is deeply political issue, there's even a "Svenska folkpartiet i Finland" who right now teamed up with our FrP (tho they're even worse than FrP ever was) to keep Wasa general hospital Swedish speaking. That's like if there was a Nynorsk Folkepartiet who always get to be the minister of education in every government, regardless who won the election. Funny thing is, their buddy would like to end mandatory Swedish stuff so...

Yeah, I noticed most Norwegians use the Finnish names for cities.

undefined_variable,
@undefined_variable@mementomori.social avatar

@thor I don't think there's a paradox there. As simply put, they don't really care about the actual Finnish culture or language, they just want to larp Republicans. I bet if you look up Perussuomalaiset, you are more likely to see one in a 50's Cadillac with Make Finland Great Again cap and a Confederate battle flag than attending the Agricola society discussing the history of the Finnish language.

Preservation is best done by keeping the culture and language alive and vibrant. I don't think most true advocates of Finnish language and culture are, or would be called, Perussuomalaiset.

undefined_variable,
@undefined_variable@mementomori.social avatar

@thor I suppose. I haven't followed Norwegian politics that much after I left, but I suppose some things do remain the same :meowsip:

LehtoriTuomo, to actuallyautistic
@LehtoriTuomo@mementomori.social avatar

Someone asked whether I ever played Doom. No, not really. I told that I've never liked first person shooters and then it hit me. I never liked them as there's too much going on. In fact, I've never been a big fan of any types of shooters, the only exception being Cannon Fodder. Now, with the new-found autistic perspective, it makes perfect sense. Sensory overdrive all the time equals no fun. How about my fellow autistics, any fans of shooters?

@actuallyautistic

undefined_variable,
@undefined_variable@mementomori.social avatar

@LehtoriTuomo @actuallyautistic I mostly prefer simulators. With shooters and such I often feel the difficulty comes from the game "cheating" and that just annoys me too much. And yes, the stress and overload factor, tho I have to say it can get quite high in simulators too. Or when playing something like X-com...

BernieDoesIt, to actuallyautistic
@BernieDoesIt@mstdn.social avatar

My Autistic Pony: Friendship is Overrated

@actuallyautistic

undefined_variable,
@undefined_variable@mementomori.social avatar

@BernieDoesIt @actuallyautistic Ouch... Accurate but... ouch...

LehtoriTuomo, to actuallyautistic
@LehtoriTuomo@mementomori.social avatar

After self-diagnosing with autism, I've been on the hunt of what characteristics and symptoms -- for the lack of a better word -- of mine are due to that. It's been an interesting journey of discovery. One thing that kind of bugs me, though, is that many things are related to differences between NDs and NTs. Naturally, there's no way of knowing how another person experiences anything. And the way I experience is the way I've always had. For instance, some things catch my eyes easily, others don't. But how do I know how attentive to detail a NT person would be? Some examples of my pondering.

Yesterday, I was following a doctoral defence and at one point started looking at the gadgets on the wall. I noticed that there were two gadgets (likely wifi routers), supposedly put on symmetrical places on both sides of the lecture hall. However, one of them was slightly off-center of the plate it was attached to. Would an average NT person pay attention to this?

The other day I was following a Zoom presentation on the relationship between human and dog. Super interesting! Anyway, on the slides, there were many places with tiny "beauty flaws", a missing space after a comma, bullet points with both capitalized and non-capitalized sentences etc. Things that I would fix on my presentation if I noticed them. Would an average NT person notice these? On the other hand, there was a duplicate word that the presenter noticed. I didn't.

@actuallyautistic

undefined_variable,
@undefined_variable@mementomori.social avatar

@LehtoriTuomo @actuallyautistic After getting my official AuDHD diagnosis a few years ago, it's definitely been and continues to be a journey of rediscovering myself and reframing my whole life through that lens and trying to figure that out. It's easy to go a bit overboard with that analysis and I don't think there's nothing wrong with that, after all, being on the spectrum does affect everything, even the stuff that NT people would do.

Of the examples, I was a superstar in QA/R&D, because I'd notice everything, including UI elements being off by a pixel or two, to the extent that my bosses got desperate with the amount of valid bugs I reported. But, having also ADHD, half of my bugs were me messing something up or doing something totally off-the-wall (the advantages of dogfooding our own product in personal use) due to being also somewhat chaotic person.

In the end of the day, I think what matters is what category matters to you. If you feel "this trait is me being autistic" and it helps you to navigate your life as such, then that's what it is.

Tim_McTuffty, to actuallyautistic
@Tim_McTuffty@beige.party avatar

Diary of an ASD Squirrel. Day 162 , Sunday 07/04/2024

TL:DR some days are made for reflection - but that isn’t always necessarily a good thing.

Sunday dawned , but I wasn’t there to see it, fast asleep ‘till 8am .

A slow, lazy day. A day of sunshine & rain.

I exchanged thoughts with someone I hope I will get to know better, I realised that I am sailing the sea of life without the first clue what I’m doing! I pretend to be an adult, but really I take each day as it comes, deal with what I can & sweep the rest under the carpet ! The stuff that’s under there will take 2 lifetimes to clear !
I look at folks on here & marvel at how they cope with stuff that would have me hiding under the table !
Extreme imposter syndrome !

Final Thoughts.

See this is what happens on quiet days when my mind has far too much time to contemplate all kinds of things like life, the universe & everything!

Thank you to all those who are helping me on this journey, in a myriad different ways. I am thankful to each & every one of you! 🫂 🫶🐿️🖖

@actuallyautistic

undefined_variable,
@undefined_variable@mementomori.social avatar

@Tim_McTuffty @UKFilmNerd @actuallyautistic I definitely also am mentally a teenager (though I don't have any official diagnostics to back this up). I don't feel my age, I don' really feel any age. I still like the same foods, I still like doing the same things, my apartment looks pretty much like a teenager's room... And I definitely refuse to adult any more than I need to :meowsip:

undefined_variable, to actuallyautistic
@undefined_variable@mementomori.social avatar

I have some self-made stick'n'pokes I'm starting to get increasingly embarrassed about so... Anyone know, or maybe is themselves, a cool neuroqueer tattoo artists that do coverups on fingers? Preferably in the Schengen area, I wouldn't mind taking a little vacation somewhere, could use one by now :meowsip:

@actuallyautistic

Mux, to actuallyautistic
@Mux@swingset.social avatar

@actuallyautistic
I often hear about temperature dysregulation, but I don't think I experience that myself. Rather, I experience sensory sensitivity to heat.

I was wondering how this manifests in the community. Are you sensitive to cold? To heat? To dryness? Humidity? Or are you generally dysregulated? And what does that mean for you?

undefined_variable,
@undefined_variable@mementomori.social avatar

@Mux @actuallyautistic Cold, definitely. Cold makes me extremely depressed and miserable, be it weather or the perceived cold and clammy feeling after a shower or such. I don't mind hot, at least if it's dry hot. I dream of living in such a place. Ironically, I've mostly lived in Nordic coastal cities...

Uair, to actuallyautistic
@Uair@autistics.life avatar

@actuallyautistic

I've noticed my fellow autists seem to have a well developed sense of style. Everyone has colored hair, for example.

I consciously dress as plainly but practically as possible. I won't advertise for you unless you at least give me the shirt, so i sport no labels or logos. I like plain color tees and sweatshirts. I wear old fashioned, non elastic jeans or cargo pants.Being eds and superstretchy, i buy as baggy as possible.

I dress for forgettability.Anyone else?

undefined_variable,
@undefined_variable@mementomori.social avatar

@Uair @actuallyautistic For everyday wear, pretty much only black t-shirts and hoodies, black boots and plain blue jeans. All my socks are same size and brand black sports socks. For actual sports, the same brand but white and gray t-shirts and sweatpants, because my brain says to keep sporty stuff separated from my everyday stuff...

undefined_variable,
@undefined_variable@mementomori.social avatar

@Uair @actuallyautistic That's the beauty of having just two distinct types of socks, no more sorting and finding pairs, just have to match the color. And yes, socks and how they feel and fit is important, having a sock with an annoying seam or bad fit makes me miserable. Regarding underwear, I've split the difference and went with boxer-briefs, black, naturally.

haui, to actuallyautistic

@actuallyautistic having a character development day… again. Thinking about life. I chose to reflect on the rumor of autistic people having an average life expectancy of 36 yrs I heard. Turns out, this is most likely false. Yet this study suggests its still quite a bit of life expectancy lost due to our differences: https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S2666776223001953

Feel free to discuss this with me. I‘m happy to learn.

undefined_variable,
@undefined_variable@mementomori.social avatar

@Dr_Obvious @haui @actuallyautistic We also tend to have smaller or no social networks, and via that support networks, and most importantly we often are not fully part of the local community. Research has shown strong community ties and support increase life expectancy.

Now that my own road ahead starts to be shorter than the one behind I've been thinking about our life expectancy and death more. Especially considering the future doesn't seem to allow us to live less stressful and more connected lives, on the contrary.

undefined_variable, to actuallyautistic
@undefined_variable@mementomori.social avatar

@actuallyautistic Might as well put this out to the world and see what happens.

I've lived in 6 countries, 20+ places, done and experienced a lot of things and screwed most of them up. Also the road ahead of my is starting to be shorter then the road behind me (extra points if you know whom I'm paraphrasing). This and being neurospicy mental health case has left me pretty alone in this world.

I need to find my tribe, my place in the world, my chosen family. But I have no clue where to look anymore. The longest I've ever lived anywhere in my adult life is my current town, but even here I haven't managed to become truly a part any family, be it a community or whatnot, not for lack of trying, and in the last year or so, I've lost what little I had, people-wise (and what the heck is my purpose -wise too).

I know a big part of the problem is me, I mean, that's obvious enough. But people don't change they are changed (super extra points if you know who this comes from), so... Change me!

What that entails, I don't know, up to you. A trip to come visit some cool community? Going on a philosophical retreat? Picking up soft drugs? Sure! Well, maybe... Ok, some arbitrary reservations to be decided later apply. PMs are welcome too :meowsip:

holyramenempire, to random
@holyramenempire@kolektiva.social avatar

definitely rambling again:

It seems possible to leverage people's exhaustion right now into some kind of positive change.

What I think about a lot is how much easier it is not to exploit people, not to have to watch your back, to be seen as a fair trader and a good pal, to have people look out for you instead of looking for ways to screw you. Maintaining systems of oppression that people hate is difficult work, and it's constant.

The hyper-rich are already trading dollars for security and peace of mind, right? They buy weapons and men with weapons and pet politicians. Isn't it much more efficient just to be that much less rich?

Why would you look out at the landscape of roles available to you, then affirmatively choose to become a loot piñata? Why would you want to be hated, to never know true security?

undefined_variable,
@undefined_variable@mementomori.social avatar

@holyramenempire That reminds me of this article from a few years ago (It's The Guardian, I know... :blobcatcoffee:)

"'How do I maintain authority over my security force after the event?' ... The billionaires considered using special combination locks on the food supply that only they knew. Or making guards wear disciplinary collars of some kind in return for their survival."

https://www.theguardian.com/news/2022/sep/04/super-rich-prepper-bunkers-apocalypse-survival-richest-rushkoff

undefined_variable, to actuallyautistic
@undefined_variable@mementomori.social avatar

I'm not sure if this is an autistic thing, but I'd bet it might be...

How many of you restart a game when you fail at something in it, even if you didn't have to. Or when you feel like you made a mistake or a wrong choice or whatnot. And I don't mean just loading the last convenient save, but starting anew all the way from the beginning. I do that, a lot, almost with every game (Yes, even casual ones, I restarted the original Life Is Strange I don't know how many times... You can imagine what a chore it was to get through XCOM, which is one of my favorite series). So instead of playing like 20 hours, I spend easily 80 hours going though the game. Provided that I ever actually finish the game.

Now, here's the kicker... Ready for it? Does that apply to other things in your life too? I just realized today, that for me it does. I get into something, something ungood happens, I drop it, get rid of my "save game" (that is, whatever I have acquired, tangible or intangible for said thing), then take it up again some time later, start from an empty table, other than the experience from the previous try, maybe get a bit further, something happens...

I've done it with trivial things, like learning a new skill I don't really need to survive. Today I realized I've been doing it with something fundamental about myself. And oh my that realization sucks. Unlike my game characters, I don't... I can't start a new game with the game world, or myself, in the same state every time, neatly rolled back in time. For me, a month, or a yeah, or a decade has passed. It is very ungood. I wanna restart and try again.

@actuallyautistic

undefined_variable,
@undefined_variable@mementomori.social avatar

@hauchvonstaub @actuallyautistic For me too it has definitely gotten worse getting older! Also, I'm someone who has played New Vegas through not once, not twice, but four times, using only autosave and though I did have a several restarts, I only died once (bugs notwithstanding). Several months also spent in Mojave Wasteland. And playing it in hardcore mode was more of an annoyance than a challenge :meowsip:

Also same with not finishing saves, especially if it's a save for a game I haven't played in a while. Just can't pick it up and continue. I guess that's one reason I've been drawn to simulators, and hate career modes and such in them. Apart from all the clickety-click-system-goes-bzzzz-things that make my brain purr, no progress to be saved :ablobcatrave:

undefined_variable,
@undefined_variable@mementomori.social avatar

@holyramenempire @actuallyautistic I definitely recognize hints of perfectionism and a lot of anxiety there for me too. The origins of which though are a bit different for sure, as I was late-diagnosed as an adult.

Definitely not sustainable, especially when it comes to things like identities and such. "I can't be a perfect example of X, so..."

I'm starting therapy again also, actually that's what what made think about this today, as I was filling out some forms for that. Now just have to figure out what to do with this insight...

Yeah, looks like some clicking is definitely happening around this subject :meow_giggle: Thank you for sharing!

undefined_variable,
@undefined_variable@mementomori.social avatar

@vivianshadows @holyramenempire @actuallyautistic Oh, the relationship restarts... Might have a few of those too :meowterrified:

Your example could very well be related to ADHD (I'm AuDHD myself), I've heard that our issues with object permanence extend to people to. I definitely "forget" that people exist, even close ones, if I'm not in touch with them for awhile. But then again, I don't need a restart when I get back in touch. But if I screw something up with them... :meow_headache:

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