Hiro8811, Michelangelo is that you?
RampantParanoia2365, He is the party dude.
Retrograde, 
You all jest - and fair enough… but dude… this just makes me so sad :( that poor turt didn’t sign up for this shit
RampantParanoia2365, Turtle power.
Cqrd, Turtle powder
hakunawazo, On it’s way to a cowabunga party.
bradorsomething, Steady pace wins the face candy.
EpeeGnome, From now on, we need to refer to all water traveling drug smugglers as drug turtles instead of drug mules.
postmateDumbass, La Tortuga de drogas
No_Ones_Slick_Like_Gaston, Drogtuga.
ThrowawayPermanente, animalsthatgotfiredfromtheirjobs
ILikeBoobies, Did they at least give him a trial?
pseudo, 
The DEA turtle !
FiniteBanjo, $48 Million worth of Cocaine was found strapped to a turtle? Incredible.
spaceguy5234, Crazy they found $40 million worth of cocaine on this turtle. Where could it have gotten the $35 million of cocaine from?
misc, Crazy someone would attach 30 million worth of cocaine to a turtle.
Acters, I’m sure there will be an astute amount of investigation on the 20 million worth of cociane floating with the turtle
misc, Yep gotta know where the 15 million worth of cocaine came from .
Threeme2189, $10 million worth of cocaine?
Get out a here with that nonsense!
misc, I know in drug world that is not big but still busting the source of that 5 million worth of cocaine would still be a big leap .
Cruxifux, That is so much money to entrust to one turtle
Steve, Its not money until the turtle finds a way to fence it
Cruxifux, Where I’m from cocaine is the same, if not better, than money.
Agent641, Vending machines wont take my cocaine
nomous, With cocaine you can easily obtain multiple vending machines of your own.
weker01, Cocaine can be exchanged for goods and vending machines.
Hadriscus, and turtles
Dasus, I bet the turtle approached them thinking they’re possible mates.
Size and shape roughly fit.
Nastybutler, The cutter Thetis is part of Operation Martillo — an international effort launched in 2012 to target drug trafficking routes along the Central American coast.
In its most recent patrol, the operation seized 7 tons of cocaine worth over $135 million, according to a release by the Coast Guard.
And the War on Drugs™ continues its neverending game of Whack-a-mole®
Liz, I don’t mind Whack-A-Mole at the distributor level.
lordmauve, *Whack-a-turtle
FTFY
iamjackflack, He can’t go down with 2 barrels!
Viking_Hippie, I didn’t know Mitch McConnell was running errands for Trump Jr!
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