Wow. That's a lot to deal with. I wish you the best possible outcome, in all events.
after I got a better feel for what I actually wanted in life instead of trying to use alcohol to fit in. I was like 27-28 when I figured that out.
I stayed to myself for two months, barely went out of my yard, or answered the phone to kick cigarettes. Of course what drinking and the occasional weed I did also went, to make kicking cigarettes easier. I went within, so so deep within. After going out into the world again, I realized: I don't need to fit in -- I certainly don't want to fit in, anymore.