When was the last time you felt helpless in life?

I’m 24 and dealing with high blood pressure. I’ve seen five doctors, had countless tests, and they all say the same thing: “Take these pills and try to reduce pressure in your life.” It’s as though my blood pressure and heart rate have minds of their own, fluctuating freely without any reason.

For the past six months, I’ve felt like I’m on borrowed time. Every morning, I gulp down my pills, hoping I won’t have a stroke or end up disabled. Once, I dared to think I was better and skipped my meds for two days. Unfortunately, on day three, my blood pressure shot up over 150, bringing me crashing back to reality.

I’m not an nihilist, I’m the opposite of that. But facing my own mortality every second of life has hit me hard. Maybe I’m just like a “24 years old kid” tasting life’s bitterness for the first time. I hate to compare myself with others, but seeing friends partying, doing drugs, and sipping coffee just makes me hate this fate of mine even more.

I’m an artist, I studied music and wrote lots of songs (only keep them for myself, not trying to be a celebrity or anything like that…), and music has always been my escape. Lately, though, my songs have been pretty dark.

I’m sharing my story not for sympathy, but to connect with anyone else who’s going through a same journey in their life. If you’ve been there and made it out, please tell me how you did it. Any advice, hobby, or habit would help! And if you’re still stuck in the trenches like me, just know you’re not alone.

P/S: This post has been improved by ChatGPT since I’m not confident in my English.

BirdEnjoyer,

All the alcoholism in both sides of my family, and I'm fretting about my liver, when I'm taking less than the recommended dose of a prescribed medication that could change my life if I could take more.

And I'm on a COPD inhaler and I've never touched any death sticks at all.

Life isn't fair, I 100% feel you.

I also literally felt you when they put me on amitriptyline and that gave me hbp and they kept trying to act like it wasn't that big a deal- that with all my other health problems, my blood pressure would start getting off, and I'd have stress, yadda yadda.

It really does feel physically horrible, especially the headaches and sleep issues.

My biggest advice is to never be afraid about a second- or third or fourth opinion with your health, and be gentle but persistent with your goals.

Its the art of pushing without breaking.

Now, this is the experience for me and some unhealthy overachievers, so take the following with a grain of salt:

A lot of times people with underlying health issues actually function their whole lives by pushing until they crash, but hide their crash, and just assume everyone else hides the meltdowns/16-hour sleeps/weekly puke sessions/etc too.

If that happens to describe you, then you're going to need to get comfortable with giving just 25% effort in a lot of things until you can safely figure out how to actually not hurt yourself.

I'm serious.

Step out of your skin, and treat yourself as you would your precious little sibling or something. Dote on yourself.

Aaand I've typed too much. It gets my own stuff going. But good luck.

khiemtu27,

Thank you for your honest advice and straightforward approach, it’s really helpful. I’ll definitely take a moment to reconsider things that might have slipped my mind but affect my health.

Typing to much means you really care about others! Thanks a lot for that!

BirdEnjoyer,

And as for hobbies, try needle felting if you feel dangerous.

stabbing is fun, and its not about precision, just the aggregation of effort.

Today,

I had an uncle who went on bp meds at 16. It kept him from being drafted and he passed at age 82. Sometimes it’s just genetics. The concern with high blood pressure is what it does to your body over time. Take your meds - keeping it down will help prevent/limit damage and risk. Check your bp regularly to share with your doc. There are several different types of meds and it’s not unusual to need more than one type to keep it steady. 150 is high for your age, but not usually emergency level, especially if you’re asymptomatic, unless your doc has given you other guidelines.

khiemtu27,

Thank you for the information! I’m sorry for your uncle, his strength in battling hypertension for that long was truly remarkable!

MrJameGumb,
@MrJameGumb@lemmy.world avatar

I am also an artist and musician who suffers from high blood pressure! I don’t know your whole medical history so I can only tell you what works best for me.

The biggest two things I’ve done to keep it under control are quit drinking and change my diet. It’s helped me lose a lot of weight and lowered my blood pressure significantly! I’ve always played my guitar when I’m feeling stressed and that helps a lot but lately I’ve also taken up cross stitch which has been IMMENSELY helpful to me! It’s relaxing but it also requires quite a bit of focus so I can get out of my own head and calm down. The other thing I do that’s even more helpful is just going out walking! I started out just walking around the block but now I go 4 or 5 miles with no trouble lol!

I do take a very low dose of blood pressure medication, but my doctor has told me if I lose about 15 more pounds I won’t have to keep taking it anymore!

I hope this was helpful!

MakePorkGreatAgain,

yep. diet is huge. lower salts, eliminate sugars, eliminate processed foodstuffs

khiemtu27,

Being an artist with a sensitive mind might make me prone to overthinking, which in turn can raise my stress levels. Your story really resonated with me, so thank you for sharing it!

Drusas,

I'm sorry you're dealing with a mystery health condition, and especially so young. I've been through much the same. Eventually, gradually, you come to get used to how your body works now and health(/death) isn't always at the forefront of your mind. Hobbies and distractions do help, even something as simple a reading, watching movies, listening to audiobooks, bird-watching, whatever works best for you.

I would also recommend that you measure your heart rate and blood pressure while lying down versus while standing up. This is how I found out that I have postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome (POTS) -- which is a long name that means, essentially, my body cannot properly regulate my heart rate, causing it to skyrocket when I'm not laying down. It's not an uncommon condition, but it is one that most medical professionals will not think of to test for.

khiemtu27,

Thanks a lot for your suggestions. I’ll take a look at POTS!

shadowSprite,

If you’ve had covid, it’s done a number on some young people’s cardiovascular systems. I know a person in their 20s who was very healthy, got covid, and was shortly after diagnosed with POTS. I’ve heard of several other people being diagnosed with POTS after getting covid.

nom_nom_nom_9999,

now

Syltti,

Now. For the last decade, honestly.

nytrixus,

My life right now is on a countdown timer, a very slow one at that. It’s tied to the rotting decay of my teeth. The oral surgeries, dental implants and all of that I know will cost me thousands even with insurance. It’s something I elect not to face and deal with because in doing so, it’ll pit me in either a life of debt or I’ll be spending a life with no chance of having any kind of enjoyment with whatever gains I make because it’ll all be spent just dealing with one expense after another.

I know the severities of what happens if you choose not to deal with oral health. I also suspect that I am feeling some of the effects of it as well. Rather than feeling continual hopelessness about it, I just do what I can, brush my teeth knowing it’s pointless because they’re going to all go away by the time I’m 45 or 50.

Jarix,

Hey OP not sure what music you are into but this song might hit hard with you. Theres also a bit of a message from the artist at the end that i found to be worth listening to to whole video.

This may be uncomfortable for some, my apologies to anyone who would have preferred not to listen

www.youtube.com/watch?v=s_nc1IVoMxc

meekah,
@meekah@lemmy.world avatar

A friend also sent me this a while ago. I usually listen to electronic music and hip hop, and can’t really stand this type of singer songwriter music. However, this particular track really hit with the lyrics to the point I watched the video completely.

A_Random_Idiot,

I’m not an nihilist, I’m the opposite of that. But facing my own mortality every second of life has hit me hard.

My sibling, You are not alone in living in constant terror of medical maladies that doctors have no interest in pursuing further than symptomatic treatment.

I am in the same boat. I have seen half a dozen doctors, all at great personal expense cause I dont have insurance, and been in the ER dozens times in the past 10 years.

and all I have is a handwave and “its probably anxiety”. Sure, I have anxiety. I have anxiety cause my heart rates over 200 for no reason. because my chest feels like an elephants sitting on it. because it feels like a flaming fist has Kali-Ma’d its way into my chest and is squeezing down in my heart. The anxiety didnt cause that shit. That shit caused the anxiety.

As proven when they stick that big beautiful syringe of Ativan or other powerful anxiety med in my IV and I go off to no-fucks given land, yet all my symptoms stay. Just now I dont care anymore cause I’m floating on rainbows amidst femboy angels.

But hey, my cardiac enzymes are good, and my EKG is clean (despite the 200bpm) so it just must all be in my head.

interrobang,

I was diagnosed with high blood pressure and tachycardia as a skinny teenager, and I’m healthier than I’ve been since childhood now, in my late 30s. You’re not automatically doomed!

I went thru 4 or 5 meds initially, and finally settled on a beta blocker, which i love because it has anti-anxiety effects. I was also on a second med for a long time, but my numbers are finally getting better as i get older.

I know it sounds lame, but yoga helps me so much. I haven’t had an easy life, I’m queer and sorta lived in my car here and there, but yoga helps me feel less out-of-control.

z00s,

OP you sound exactly like me at that age. I was diagnosed with kidney disease at 16 and got a transplant after one year of dialysis at age 27.

Things were amazing after that but now I’ve got terminal cancer at age 41.

Make the most of everything you’ve got while you still can.

Maeve,

Wow. You've been through it. I'm sorry.

kava,

Last time I felt helpless was a little less than a decade ago when I was in active heroin addiction. I knew I had a problem, I really wanted to quit, and I tried hard to quit… and I kept ignoring myself and using anyway.

I ended up finally succeeding in staying clean after like 5 or 6 relapses, with each clean period lasting longer than the previous. Now I’ve been clean for a little over 8 years.

I haven’t felt powerless or helpless since.

Here’s my advice. Put one foot in front of the other and walk forwards. Just take it a day at a time and worry about what’s immediately in front of you.

Maeve,

Wow, that's hard. Great job!

leanleft, (edited )
@leanleft@lemmy.ml avatar

Searching hypertension… Wikipedia shows me this:
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Essential_hypertensionHowever its safest to rule out any other causes en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Secondary_hypertension

ArmoredThirteen,

I’m in my 30s and feel completely hopeless right now. It comes and goes, I’ll be great for a few years then everything collapses for a few. Right now I’m staring down an expensive major surgery, losing a series of very important people in my life, divorce, work burnout. Just got to take it as best you can and try to find some goals to point toward

My current hobbies include doing as many physical activities as I can to keep my mind off things, painting minis, and playing ukulele. Do what you can to have good sleeping habits. My sleep is garbage and it makes everything 10x harder. As always, don’t forget to drink water

Seeing people around you partying, having gone through my own drugs and alcohol phase, it’s not all that worth it really. At least for me at any rate. I was much happier after I got a better feel for what I actually wanted in life instead of trying to use alcohol to fit in. I was like 27-28 when I figured that out

Maeve,

Wow. That's a lot to deal with. I wish you the best possible outcome, in all events.

after I got a better feel for what I actually wanted in life instead of trying to use alcohol to fit in. I was like 27-28 when I figured that out.

I stayed to myself for two months, barely went out of my yard, or answered the phone to kick cigarettes. Of course what drinking and the occasional weed I did also went, to make kicking cigarettes easier. I went within, so so deep within. After going out into the world again, I realized: I don't need to fit in -- I certainly don't want to fit in, anymore.

ArmoredThirteen,

Thank you, I’m slowly working through it. The surgery at least is a good thing even if it is having its way with my savings and the recovery is going to be wild. Been like two years of wait list, delays, prep, and it is coming together in about 6 weeks! After that all goes through I get to start un-fucking the rest of my life x.x

Maeve,

Aw, that's great and a great attitude. May you and your bank account have a speedy, full recovery. Maybe you'll let me know how you're doing, after, when you're well enough? I'm pulling for you.

Black_Gulaman,
@Black_Gulaman@lemmy.dbzer0.com avatar

practically everyday.

Maeve,

Hug

Black_Gulaman,
@Black_Gulaman@lemmy.dbzer0.com avatar

Thank you.

Maeve,

Welcome.

LSNLDN,

May your fortune turn in your favour soon

Black_Gulaman,
@Black_Gulaman@lemmy.dbzer0.com avatar

Thank you, and the same to you too, and each and everyone of us.

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