My wife would 100% get upset if one of our kids said they would do away with our china. Some of it she got from her mom. Some of it she got from her grandma.
We’ve dragged this heavy shit though at least a half dozen houses and we’ve used it approximately that many times. But I get it. It’s not the china, it’s the connection between one generation and the next.
In some ways, this stupid shit we leave behind is all we have to mark our existence and that of the people we loved growing up. That continuity gives us some peace. We want to know we will be thought of when the china comes out, or when you write on that ugly old desk. Because the day no one thinks of us again is the day we truly die.
So, in my wife’s case, threatening to throw that shit away is not just throwing her away, but her mother and grandmother as well. Me, I’ve taken up woodworking in the hopes that some day I’ll be skilled enough to make a couple things worthy of keeping so my kids can feel that sense of connection to me after I’m gone, though really my kids are my legacy to the world.
I know that shit is impractical, and I understand that our kids might well throw it in the garbage after we are gone (or just after we are beyond the point of asking why you didn’t use it for our grandchild’s baby shower or whatever). Christ, my grandpa gave my folks bear claw ashtrays and they didn’t even smoke. Those were tacky as fuck. But I should hope our kids would have the grace to get rid of it discretely as a simple kindness. One hopes it’s easier to just drive that shit to Goodwill than needlessly inflict pain on someone confronting their own mortality.
I don’t intend this as an admonishment. It’s weird (and perhaps sad) that she tried to give pictures to someone she isn’t really connected to. Your grandfather’s reaction tells me all I need to know about that. I was more having empathy toward the subject of your last paragraph. Handling situations with grace and empathy doesn’t require a lot of extra effort, though it doesn’t make for internet hilarity.