Does anybody else look forward to aging?

First time making a “personal” post and I just wanted to share some thoughts.

I find it appalling how society pressures people, especially women, to remain youthful - appear younger, have clear skin, stay the same weight since their early years. I see the effects of this on my older sister who loathes wrinkles and grey hair. She grew up with reality shows in the 2000s that highlighted appearances and superficiality, all about how to look on the outside…

I feel grateful to spend so much time with my parents (in their 50s). My mother has started growing grey hair and I find it beautiful. She, just like my father, has wrinkles and “imperfect” skin that I can’t help but admire. Wrinkles tell such a story; of the times you smiled, laughed… they tell people you have lived a life of joy.

I can’t wait until I grow older. Grow grey hair (it’s like being blonde but without the yellow… and as a brunette, it seems like such a fun shift), grow wrinkles from laughing and spending time doing things I like. I look forward to travelling in my young years and looking back on it in my older years. I can’t wait to drink coffee with fellow 60-year olds and speak of how fast the world seems to change, yet time for us moves so slowly whenever we spend time together.

I don’t know. Maybe it sounds ridiculous. But I can’t wait to grow as a person. Become 20, 30, 60… I hope one day society will embrace aging and see how pretty life can get at the later stages.

AttackBunny,
AttackBunny avatar

I'm in my 40s, and I'm still not ready to have grey hair. I'll keep dying it until I'm ready for it. As for the rest of the stuff people put themselves through, no thanks. I'm not trying to spend huge sums of money on treatments, peels, products, or plastic surgery.

I have a bunch of younger cousins who are like you, they just don't give a shit about it. They and their friends don't think it's required to shave their legs/pits. They aren't dying their hair, or any of the other things to keep looking younger. They saw they parents doing it all, and just don't want to participate. I'm a little envious of their no fucks to give, but like I said, I'm not there yet.

geon,

That’s okay - it’s important to do things your own pace and not give in to peer pressure or whatever else people say. My mom recently stopped dyeing her hair and is now embracing the grey look. Everybody should take their time with things, and not being ready yet is just as okay.

HipPriest,

I'm on some new medication for my epilepsy which makes me feel a bit wobbly sometimes so I've borrowed my father-in-law's walking stick from when he got his hip done. That feels like a glimpse into ageing! But having had a disability that on and off affects me quite badly I just enjoy the parts of life where I feel good and for the other parts lie in bed and wait until I feel good again.

But on a superficial level I mean... My hairline started receding in my 20s? I started getting white hairs in my beard this year? I turn 40 this week? None of that means anything really does it? Or does it? I'm just happy with how things are as much as I can be

I just always had it in my head from a young age that we're always ageing regardless and the effects of old age will creep up and not always be fun. Hip ops, joint complaints, eye problems, prostrate issues, I'll deal with it when I have to

UnknownCircle,
UnknownCircle avatar

I don't and never have, but I've always known this about myself. You know yourself best, if you think you'll be someone that enjoys the changes that come with age then don't let anyone else's experiences make you doubt. Enjoy and live your best life, we all experience life differently and that is a good thing.

Rinnarrae,

Not really, but less because of changing appearances and more due to having to deal with the health issues that come along with it. Also, I feel like the human lifespan is way too short including even the best case scenarios with our current technology, but that may change in the future.

NaoPb,

I feel like I’m a kid in an adult body trying to pass off as an adult. Always walking on my toes mentally. Being expected to know and do things way beyond what I’m able to.

I feel like aging only makes it worse.

Anticorp,

That’s a great perspective. What you’re missing though are the non-cosmetic physical changes that occur as you age. Your bones get brittle, your hormones get out of wack, your skin and muscles lose elasticity, you lose muscle mass, get weaker, sustain injuries easier, and take longer to heal. Aging gracefully is great, but it’s still pretty unpleasant when you throw your back out buttoning up a shirt.

YourHeroes4Ghosts,
@YourHeroes4Ghosts@beehaw.org avatar

Well, I’m 51 and female, and I thoroughly enjoy being the age that I am. In fact I would say that I would rather be this age than any other age I’ve experienced yet. I highly recommend it. I know getting older is not going to be an entirely pleasant experience, but menopause was very like a second puberty, but instead of being self-conscious and insecure, this time I have run out of fucks to give and just do as I please, regardless of what people think. I had hot pink hair for most of the last year, I only gave it up because I’m too lazy to maintain it.

geon,

It’s great hearing this. I’m glad at least somebody is having an ok time with being older.

HobbitFoot,

I’m at an age where aging isn’t fun any more.

Master,

Turned old this year. Would prefer to not do this aging thing anymore.

HobbitFoot,

I don’t hear anyone complaining about the alternative.

Rentlar,

I don’t. I find I’m enjoying the age I’m at and it would be excellent if I could stay like this forever! I can go on 5 hour hikes and kayak rides if I get too old my back or legs or arms will get sore just like they do now, but then won’t stop being sore. Sounds like you haven’t reached 20 yet, you’ll learn a lot yet!

furrowsofar,

Any age between 25 and 55 is good. Over 55 though things go down hill shockingly fast. My wife and I are early 60s and we both have this experience. I am a couple years younger and my wife will complain about something. About 2 years later I notice the same thing about myself. Still in good health but age based limits start to show up everywhere in growing amounts faster then I ever expected.

I think 50 to 55 is the best age all things considered. Of course I would rather have the physical body of 25 and the life state and everything else of 53.

UnfortunateTwist,

I miss eating spicy food. I’ve cut out a lot of it because of the acid reflux it gives me.

In my early 20s I lifted a TV with my back because I didn’t know better. The back pains seem to come back more frequently these days.

I used to play so much tennis. Any injuries now seem to take forever to heal.

borkcorkedforks,

Are you on the younger side? Generally younger people want to be older mostly to be able to do more adult things or have the things in life older people have built over time.

Getting older isn't just looks although that is just a matter of personal preference. There are health concerns and things like lower energy. Taking care of yourself helps a ton but sometimes you get bad genetics or some kind of aliment anyway. And age will eventually catch up with most people.

I do still recommend things like exercise so you can feel 30 at 60 instead of 60 at 30.

blackstampede,

No. I don’t want to die, and I think the discussion of age as a purely aesthetic feature is a distraction from the basic truth that it kills you.

geon, (edited )

Well, I get that. I have since long gotten over my fear of death and accepted it as a natural thing that will eventually happen, so that I now can focus on other things… I understand the majority of people still have that fear, and I’m sympathetic towards them.

blackstampede,

I have heard the same from a number of people, and no offense, but I don’t believe you. When faced with personal annihilation, most people (including myself) quickly discover that they desperately want to avoid death.

DEXSIC,

If you don’t mind me asking, what is your age? It may play a factor in your thinking.

Not having a fear of death is not the same thing as trying to avoid death when faced with “personal annihilation”. For example, I try to take care of myself, exercise, eat well, and not put myself in situations that would kill me (e.g., drive 150 mph with no seat belt while drunk) because I don’t want to die earlier than I need to. I am not trying to die faster.

The existential crisis that is triggered when we contemplate our own deaths just began to fade away as I got older. The same thing that happens to all of us – that inability to comprehend\accept the void of nonexistence. Existential anxiety.

If you are under 25, it is very common to have Existential anxiety. Some people need therapy to stop having that anxiety, and that is fine. We’re all on this rock together, and we all progress and deal with things at different rates than others. Life is too short for us to worry about what we know will happen though, so it is better to focus on the now rather than the reaper later on.

lyam23,
@lyam23@beehaw.org avatar

In my 30s I was pretty sure I had come to terms with my eventual death. Then I contracted a serious virus that caused my body temperature to begin dropping rapidly. That combined with an intense nausea led to a direct and unmistakable confrontation with mortality. I was not ready and I was terrified. I experienced the visceral knowledge that I was on the precipice of losing everything I knew or cared about. I was, and remain, humbled by death. Because of that experience I tend to be skeptical when others say they are prepared for death.

LastOneStanding,

Age is wasted on us. We get older which means we get wiser, better at living, but with age we get closer to death. It’s really an unjust world.

Limeaide,

I’m kinda a mix between the two. I take pretty good care of myself. I have a good diet, work out 3-4 times a week, use lotions, sunscreen, take care of my hair, etc. I want to live to be 100+ because I want to see how society will progress, but I also want to feel good while doing it.

I’m not necessarily “preserving” myself for vanity, but more for my well being. Plus, I’m a guy and don’t get compliments often, so when someone tells me that my skin looks nice or that I have nice hair, gives me a little boost for the day lol. Maybe there is a little vanity involved and I’m ok with that.

However, I don’t mind aging. I still feel like a 16-18 year old inside so seeing myself age makes me feel like a “real adult” in a way

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