I'm so tired of the current state of the internet

Everywhere you browse, people have such strong opinions about everything and are so toxic or extremely negative. You start playing a game, want to check the forums or something and most of the posts are people being mean to each other. You open social media to keep in touch with people that you’d like to maintain a certain level of contact and there’s always some people that are always complaining about every single thing.

I see myself more and more closing myself into a bubble which makes me appreciate Beehaw much more. I know I am guilty of being taken away by the toxicity and sometimes replying things I wouldn’t be proud of but since I joined Beehaw I see myself policing myself more and more focused on being better.

Just a quick rant, I currently started playing Baldur’s Gate 3 and I am honestly pissed off on the fact people can’t give feedback without being rude or “gamers” just shitting on developers because they are stans of another game. I wanted to be active on the forum and comment on bugs and such because I want the game to be better but it is so depressing reading people being awful so often.

Why are we so shitty to each other? I’m so tired.

Edit: Pardon me if I used weird terms or grammar errors, english isn’t my first language

Edit2: removed specifics

Flax_vert,

I and three others had a pvp Minecraft server and we had to shut it down because people were getting into stupid toxic arguments to the point we had two sides, one wanted the other banned on threat of them leaving because one of their members had an argument several months ago with them and brought it up again. I spent all nighters on the Minecraft server and the owner spent €50 every month. To be treated like this was heartbreaking. So the four of us agreed to shut it down. It hurt and I feel bad and the underlying concept was enjoyable to many people, but we couldn’t have it because people were just trying to figure out ways to break it and weren’t actually playing the game we tirelessly were maintaining for them. Shutting it down was heartbreaking but I feel so much better for it.

djmarcone,

I believe a lot of the posts and replies that rile an individual up, on social media, are put there by bots. Intentionally to rile people up.

I think social unrest is desired by certain groups and factions.

sokath,

The loudest voices usually aren’t the most representative ones. I like Hank Green’s take in a recent video. It’s easier to dismiss the really out there opinions when you realize that it’s not what everyone thinks.

agegamon,

Hank Green is just so… awesome. Both Hank and John are, really. I’m not saying everyone should be exactly like them (they’re both white, both men, etc) but I wish more people would take the initiative to cultivate the positivity that they exude. I know I could do a fair bit better at being positive myself…

pinkdrunkenelephants,

One thing you really have to learn in this world is how to disregard the feelings of other people. Other people’s feelings are only rooted in their own self-interest and they will take advantage of your feelings and manipulate you to get what they want. They’re not even aware they’re even doing it half the time. It is the perennial human condition.

Most people are ugly-spirited, mean, cruel assholes.

You’re better off either just insulating yourself from them or hardening your spirit to better tolerate their presence.

Hirom,

Part of the reason is that people don’t know how to provide feedback in a nice way. I’m guilty of that sometimes, when I use software and make a bug report or write feedback, I realize after the fact I sound passive agressive.

It takes conscious effort to provide feedback in a nice way before it becomes a habit. I’m told a compliment sandwich is a good way to provide critical feedback without sounding like an asshole.

DRUMS_,

Or as that article mentions, it is also known as a Shit Sandwich. Mostly because we don’t refer to sandwiches by the bread.

DSLeMaster,

Being shitty to each other is a big driving factor in a lot of human innovation. We are typing angry words instead of throwing rocks, most of the time, so at least there is that.

Auzy,

I’ve actually wound back on posts on facebook and specialised sites. In hiking forums on facebook, I literally gave common sense information sometimes (for instance, in one case, someone was asking if water tanks on a route was full, and I explained to never rely on water tanks in the middle of summer for multi-day hikes since rangers don’t fill them) and you need permanent water sources. And, I got told I was “mansplaining”, and that she was knew what she was doing, from multiple people (not sure why she’d be asking if they were full then, if she didn’t plan to rely on them). On another one, someone was literally telling other people that they should carry a knife to protect themself against other people (and were trying to scare women into feeling like they shouldn’t be safe when hiking here in Australia).

Even if you’re a professional in a specific field, you’ll always come across people who tell you you’re wrong too, and try to treat you like crap. On Reddit, I got told once I was LARPing about doing hiking and mountaineering, until someone else pointed out my long post history.

On facebook, the whole fake troll accounts thing is the worst too (I literally saw a guy with 3 of the same named account as his friends, and a 4th, which was obviously their real name, as it was similar name).

Its one reason I was happy to donate to Beeshaw. We don’t all need to agree, but there needs to be good faith. And it feels like other communities are either just full of angry people, people who are scared of change, or people operating in bad faith.

We don’t need to be one of those communities. I myself can be toxic at times, but I agree… I am trying to be better…

FerrumFox,

I’ve been starting to reduce my “internet footprint” especially on large media sites. (twitter, reddit, youtube, etc). I’ve been deleting a lot of my posts that dont have important info, and reducing my time spent on them. I’m doing it to improve my mental health. hopefully.

BitOneZero,
@BitOneZero@beehaw.org avatar

Humanity really does not have a good history interacting with the Earth or with each other. People have to make a choice not to follow signals or create powerful leaders that don’t get so competitive that they just start wrecking things on larger and larger scales.

People have to choose to create something better and enjoy it. And many are deciding that peace and kindness is just ‘too boring’ for them. Take care.

mojo,

Humans would’ve died out if that were true. It’s literally in our DNA to cooperate with each other. That’s how we survived and thrived as a species.

BitOneZero,
@BitOneZero@beehaw.org avatar

What’s changed is the ability to travel anywhere in the world and to project technology. It used to be a much slower process and oceans kept things split and at a much slower pace.

It’s literally in our DNA to cooperate with each other.

Is this supposed to be a scientific challenge to me? Like can you point to it? What I see is that forming gangs and armies is a human behavior characteristic. Did you here how Japanese people behaved in attacking all over the world, even Perl Harbor, in the 1920’s to 1950? Did you know about the Crusades of people from Europe going all the way to the Middle East to attack each other over a book that says one part of land is more important than others? Are you aware of the complete destruction of cultures by the Spaniards when they came to the Americas?

Your answer seems wildly simplistic.

It’s literally in our DNA to cooperate with each other.

Mutually Assured Destruction, MAD, seems to be in the human behavior once technology comes into the picture. Multiple human groups arrive at the same solution. China, USA, Russia - and form alliances around it. People barely protest it and vote for politicians in democratic (much like voting on Beehaw) methods to continue to support it. It is reality of how humans address their differences, with 45 minute delivery of nuclear destruction ready 24 hours a day, 365 days a year.

sexy_peach,

❤️ leaving a heart for you

TerryTPlatypus,

Contuining the love, leaving you fresh flowers 🪷🪻🌸💐💐 🌸💐🌺🪷🪻 💐🪷🌺🌻🌼 🐝 🐝

🐝🌻

itinerantme,

I’m late but I want in… Leaving a pile of desserts for you! 🍧 🍨🍦🥧 🧁🍰🎂🍮 🍭🍬🍫🍩🍪

Templa,

You’re all so cute I love you all

raccoona_nongrata,
@raccoona_nongrata@beehaw.org avatar

deleted_by_author

    •
    cubedsteaks,

    I started using 4chan around 2007/2008. It was always like that. It was the place to be if you were a toxic edgelord - a space to openly be a nazi and racist and homophobic.

    I remember threads on /b/ back then too where people were looking for a new Hitler.

    And they always had that shitty mentality. Be as contrarian as you can and as long as you can antagonize people into reacting, then you got one over on someone.

    I haven’t been on there since 2020 but I watched it get worse and worse over the years as it spread into the mainstream with things like Gamergate and the fappening. I even tried to tell people but they would just laugh it off cause “4chan”

    1984,
    @1984@lemmy.today avatar

    I’m still not shitty to people so I don’t know. Maybe younger generation just thinks it’s fine to trash people online.

    Kaldrae,

    Has nothing to do with young people. Assholes are assholes, thats it. Some young people are assholes, some old folks are. Assholes are everywhere and in every group. As far as I have seen they are pretty evenly distributed.

    retrieval4558,

    Yeah you’ve only gotta look at Facebook comments to see that the behavior is certainly present in older generations as well. Imo they’re also more likely to do it using accounts tied to their real name and faces, which is interesting.

    forestG,

    I am getting old.

    When I was a kid, my parents, my siblings and I would go to very crowded beaches during the summer. Sunny weather, vibrant colors, cool water. It was nearly impossible for me to bother with whatever everyone else was doing. My attention was focused to everything that was fun and new to me. I would swim for hours, climb rocks and attempt the most challenging dives I could, run on the wet sand. Even build castles!

    And then, gradually, every next year each summer visit to the beach would become less magical. Every next year, my attention would start to focus less on the beach and more on the people. And not just people who were calm, friendly and enjoying themselves there. No. I would focus on people who were rude, stressed out and annoying. Loud people who would disregard everyone else around them.

    Until, at some point, it started actually feeling bad visiting crowded places. Felt like there was no way I could enjoy being at the beach if I were to share it with other people. Now, I can point you to places that very few people know how to reach. And they are great. As long as you have your own company.

    I envy my kid self. If you were to ask that kid what it felt like to be at the beach, you would get a lot of excitement and zero negativity.

    Now, even though I will mostly avoid crowded places it’s not always possible to do so. So, when I end up in a crowded place I actively focus on what is important for me to enjoy my time. Laughter is music for my ears. Kidding around my friends, swimming and all the good stuff my kid self knew how to do better. I try. Sometimes I succeed, others I feel old and tired ;-)

    FlashMobOfOne,
    @FlashMobOfOne@beehaw.org avatar

    Why are we so shitty to each other? I’m so tired.

    That’s our nature. We always have been and always will be. The only difference is that now it’s way more convenient.

    With that said, I deleted my twitter a year ago. I deleted facebook three months ago, and left reddit for lemmy two months ago. It’s actually been really great for my mental health to not know what everyone I know is thinking all of the time, and I still have messenger if they need to to get in touch with me. Do I miss an event here and there? Yes, but it’s worth it for the amount of stuff I don’t have to see anymore.

    1984,
    @1984@lemmy.today avatar

    People who are shitty to others seem to use this excuse - it’s just who everyone is.

    But no, it isn’t.

    FlashMobOfOne,
    @FlashMobOfOne@beehaw.org avatar

    It’s not an excuse or an opinion. It’s the history of our species.

    The only difference now is it’s just a lot easier to be that way.

    1984,
    @1984@lemmy.today avatar

    I doubt you have met our entire species. You know who you have met? Loud, obnoxious people… Because they are there to be noticed. But there is a selection bias here. Most people are actually really nice but you don’t see them because they don’t get into fights, they don’t argue, they let things go etc.

    jarfil,

    I’d like to share your optimism… but I’ve seen some of those “really nice” people who “don’t get into fights, they don’t argue, they let things go etc” when they’re in their homes, behind closed doors, when they think nobody’s watching them, when they believe everybody’s on their side… I’ve heard some of them through walls… I’ve seen what they’ve done to others… and too many of them turned out to be not nice at all.

    I on the other hand might argue, have gotten into a few fights, don’t let some things go… maybe you’d call me “not nice”… I call myself “tired of being a doormat”… despite coming to this safe space to be nice, and maybe remember, or sometimes learn, how to be nice.

    cubedsteaks,

    You sound like me 10 years ago.

    mojo,

    It is an opinion, and a wrong one. Not only does that cloud your world view with toxicity, but the human species literally would’ve died out if we had not worked together and cooperated to make villages and advance our species out if the stone age.

    FlashMobOfOne,
    @FlashMobOfOne@beehaw.org avatar

    Thank you for your point of view. I appreciate that.

    Jho,
    @Jho@beehaw.org avatar

    deleted_by_author

    •
    jarfil,

    TL;DR… /jk

    However, there are two sides to every coin: thought-out discussions are one side, extensive rambling diatribes are the other. There is value in being concise in one’s arguments, when possible without compromising precision.

    In any case, even scientific papers have an abstract, extensive laws have a rationale, so IMHO it makes sense for a series of paragraphs to have a TL;DR, or some other way of structuring the content —maybe through headers, or highlighting key elements in bold, or incises like this one— in order to let the reader skip over what they’re not interested in.

    It’s good to have markdown, Twitter 𝕏 could try some.

    cubedsteaks,

    It’s already quite easy to forget we are interacting with other humans when we are behind screens and keyboards

    I honestly hate that people do this. Maybe its because I work online in customer service and I chat with people online so I always know that I’m talking to a real person - but even before I worked online, I always assumed I was talking to a real person on the other end.

    It’s wild to me that people become so incredibly inconsiderate that they don’t even think they’re talking to a human and instead interpret it as “oh I’m just arguing an idea” yeah, you’re arguing an idea with a HUMAN.

    Sometimes I catch people doing that because they’ll respond to me like I’m someone else and I have to be like, hey no, I’m not that person, I’m my own person and you are in fact talking to me now. A person who will react to things being said. Cause you know, human.

    Auzy,

    Lots of Rage bait out there, or people purposely posting things and making it sound slightly wrong, knowing people will comment too

    Templa,

    One of the things that really pisses me off is the current state of Steam. People realized they can bait to get lots of clown awards, which rewards them with a lot of points. On one hotfix update post, someone got over 200 clown awards.

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