Once again, I said some stupid shit. My life is a cycle of keeping things to myself and getting comfortable, then letting my guard down and expressing myself, then making everyone mad.
The older I get, the more I understand the archetype of an old man and his dog, living alone in the woods.
For me #3 is “why are they being so nice? what are they up to? what do they want? how are they planning to embarass me after earning my trust?” then back in the box.
To a degree you should always “read the room” and adjust both what you say and how you say. But also you should balance that with being open and honest (especially with yourself) about how you feel. I put my foot in my mouth quite a lot. Some of it is plain ignorance, and sometimes I let my emotions get the better of myself. They’re all learning experiences. But you’re right in thinking that a dog is great company. 😁
So there are situations where it wouldn’t be appropriate to be openly vulnerable. Like in the middle of class, standing up and telling everyone your past trauma. That’s not an appropriate time to share.
But if the people you were with just didn’t want you to be open and vulnerable, that’s on the people, not you. It’s better to be surrounded by people who accept you and are willing to hear your truth.
Hey that’s all you can do: try. Sometimes you’ll get it wrong. It the more you try, the better you’ll get at it. I know that’s a little cliche, but I do believe. Maybe next time start smaller?
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