You're absolutely correct that a person doesn't need to be a "manly man" or a "girly girl". But you're confusing gender expression for gender identity. Neither my sister or I are particularily feminine, at least not in most stereotypical ways. She's cis. I'm trans. I sure as hell haven't gone through the journey of transition just because I wanted to enjoy a certain activity or wear a certain type of clothes. I could've done that before and still gotten less hate. Sure as hell getting sick of people telling me I'm confused (first in my life for being bi, later for being trans - same chapter in the bigots' playbook really) when they can't even grasp simple concepts because they don't apply to them. Is it lack of empathy? Inability to trust that other people understand themselves even if you don't understand them? Or is it just being fucking stupid?