18+ Trekhausen,

This has been a challenging start to the year. I have finally fully left the little remote/home based work I did because of my Long-Covid and ill health after wrongly 'pushing through' in a state of constant PEM - just varying in intensity - relying on adrenaline surges, my partner caring for me, being pretty much housebound and making myself worse and worse. I regret not stopping sooner. I regret how much extra damage I have done. Though, I understand there was a interplay of structural and agency shaping my choices. I also know I am lucky to have had the choice to 'push through' and how many would not have been able to choose that even if they had wanted to. I have now got a lot of social security applications and appointments which, coming as no surprise, is fucking tough and challenging. The questions you have to answer, the awareness of all the ways the state tries to screw you. I am lucky to have a super supportive partner helping me with this, someone from a local charity helping and can't talk highly enough about the Benefits and Work guides!!!

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