@ChloeCat for me that feeling started because I could only be myself online (or more generally, in trans centered spaces, but the only one I knew of was online)
I'm out now though as you can tell from my selfies still very far from gender conforming. so now I'm still closest connected here because it's a place people.... understand. I don't have to wait a few seconds when I meet someone new for them to process that my name could be Ginny. it's the only place I feel like people actually will see me as a girl and not just be, like, pretending they do.
oh also relationships get deep fast when you're in a group chat with queers and most of them have the same traumas and problems as you :rat_trans:
@ginny@ChloeCat gonna be honest sometimes I feel like I don't fit in because I don't really have trauma - it makes me feel like I'm faking it sometimes
(or maybe I do and I just don't notice it)
@ielenia I also have way less gender (and other) trauma than seems to be common in the parts of the trans community I interact with, and it feels strange sometimes to not have that in common with everyone.
That said, I've definitely "unlocked" a few points of dysphoria / gender trauma over the past year that I was presumably just suppressing before, and I've heard similar stories from others. So you might have that to, um, look forward to? 😬
And, you know, imposter syndrome is a very common trans experience.
@ielenia@ChloeCat tbh I don't think a person can exist in this society as trans and not get traumatized by it. especially those affected by transmisogyny. there are absolutely people who have suffered some intense shit but that doesn't invalidate the stress and struggle of .... existence 😂
(I think last night I saw your blog link and I read your post about coming out and like.... those fears have teeth that leave a mark, even if you don't feel the bite right now)
a good thing is the people you have surrounded yourself with love you and will be happy you're 'not traumatized enough'. we're not trying to win a trauma contest (maybe in part because I'm very privileged and would absolutely lose that contest)
@ginny@ChloeCat i guess i haven't experienced much simply due to the fact that irl i'm basically a cishet guy. thankfullly the people here are all supportive so i don't get much in the way of internet comments.
it is good to know that you all support me, but sometimes it feels hard for me to support you since i can't really relate to many of your experiences
@ChloeCat might be like, it's a lot easier to show the most accurate version of yourself to people you have just met rather than changing the perceptions of people around you >W<
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