@atomicpoet Oh this is interesting. I suppose defederating is the proverbial "nuclear option" and on one hand it would be unfortunate if it comes to that, but on the other hand your points are very good ones - I especially liked the one about how the opt-in crowd has the effect of shutting down innovation surrounding ActivityPub and that's a bad thing for the Fediverse. The idea of a Fediverse where adding a new server or service requires opt-in from everyone already there (or their representatives) is not one I find appealing.
I mean, there's certainly nothing wrong with a group of people who want such a thing creating their own separate opt-in-only network that doesn't federate with the rest of us. That's just not the Fediverse I want to be part of.