Lillian,
@Lillian@mastodon.iftas.org avatar

Question for the fediverse:
When you come across content/behaviors you dislike on the social web, what do you believe are the most effective and fair methods for responding?
How can you or other users express concerns while respecting both community guidelines AND foster constructive dialogue?

deadsuperhero,
@deadsuperhero@social.wedistribute.org avatar

@Lillian I think it depends on what the thing is. If someone is just doing a thing I don't care for, or making a point I don't particularly agree with, I tend to just not engage.

If someone's talking trash about my friend or an effort I like or a thing I'm really passionate about, though, I try to push back in a way that makes sense. I'll always stand up for my friends first and foremost. But, if it's a piece of software or an abstract idea, I tend to ask why they feel that way first.

Lillian,
@Lillian@mastodon.iftas.org avatar

@deadsuperhero how would your response be different if it wasn't personal, but you were in a work environment and had to respond?

deadsuperhero,
@deadsuperhero@social.wedistribute.org avatar

@Lillian I'd try my best to be calm, objective, and point to the facts of what I know. I think it's important to try to lead with empathy and understand where the other person is coming from.

I also try to confront my own biases, too. There's always a chance that I am wrong, or that there's more to the story that I didn't know about. I think it's important to try to learn, even if it's challenging and I'm feeling emotional.

Lillian,
@Lillian@mastodon.iftas.org avatar

@deadsuperhero @Lillian

I appreciate your response bc it embodies the essence of constructive dialogue & personal development at the same time. It's refreshing to hear someone who truly values empathy, objectivity, and self reflection.

It's unfortunately common for people to respond to disagreeable viewpoints with disrespect or devaluation.. which only deeps divides and hinders meaningful conversation.

berniethewordsmith,
@berniethewordsmith@masto.es avatar

@deadsuperhero @Lillian I'm with Sean there. I would say that the fat that it affects others or not would be key on my reaction. Also important is to discover if the other person would be willing to reconsider their position. So, to summarize:

  1. Would this affect others? If not, may be it's better not to engage.

  2. If Yes to number 1, does it seem like the person making the point wants to engage in comstructing debate? If Yes, I may try to engage in a civil manner. But...

  3. If I see that the point is being made in bad faith, my observation may take the form of a rebuttal.

  4. Final rule: if possible, never act like on this XKCD strip: https://xkcd.com/386/

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