honestly I see myself living a life alone in entirety, I don't necessarily FEEL a need for another person in my life, however, there's a certain.. pointlessness to everything? Life, the universe, everything, it all depends on how you view it, what shapes you give it, what you decide is important.
And if you care about other people, and not a lot about yourself, it easily becomes completely impossible to decide why or what to live for.
though tbh it also just feels in general like I bother everyone and I don't deserve anyone and all that common typical anxiety stuff. I know it doesn't make sense and people appreciate being poked and given attention and all that, but I never managed to get it to feel that way too.
In the end I don't want to bother anyone with me, but I also just don't know what would make life worth it; there's no activity or thing I can imagine on my own that I would want to live for ig
"if you feel like nobody cares why do you update your social media and talk at all" 1) good point i try not to think about that 2) I pretend people can unfollow or block me at any point if they actually want to not be exposed to me and that if they do follow me they must at least somewhat care 3) I KNOW it doesn't make sense and I'm just trying to be a person and not think about these things but it's still in there somewhere, somehow, refusing to listen to any reasoning. 🤷
maybe it's stupid and useless and people hate me for this but down a thread like this so far idk if i care, so here's the responses I got from Gemini and ChatGPT4, which I think are kind and helpful and supportive in the face of such extentialist questions.
though it also feels empty, not because it's AI saying these things, but because it just doesn't want to land, just like this has always refused to land. its not a matter of lacking understanding i just can't believe it
for anyone reading and worrying, don't worry too much though, I get like this sometimes but I'm by no means stuck in life, it just feels weird sometimes when I think too much on days with too little sleep, maybe I shouldn't do that :dragnthaenk:
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