At the college I used to go to, there’s a line of fruiting crabapple trees in front of the dining hall, while eating I’d enjoy watching the squirrels eat the fermenting fallen fruit and stumble around drunk.
Reminds me of the kereru, who are mildly infamous in NZ for getting drunk on berries and then falling on your roof with the elegance and grace of a brick. Look at this adorable idiot.
The thing about kereru is they are thiccc. Even when they aren’t drunk flight is a serious challenge for them on account of their very low chonk-to-brain-cell ratio. When they fly, they make a really loud fwop-fwop-fwop noise as they use their sheer girth to pull themselves through the air against gravity, natural law and common sense.
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